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I want to save my best friend!!? watch

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    Hi, I'm a girl and this is regarding my best friend who is a guy and same age. We are not teenagers, I'm 24 and so he is. We have been best friends for 7 years now. I met him at school and after one year we became best friends. I never had a boy friend and he never had a girl friend so far, so we are like really close to each other and have a unbreakable bond (very unique no words can express that bond) To be honest i'm more like every other girl and He was always extreamly quiet and keeps everything to himself since biginning, no other friends or no any type of social life (No trips, parties, clubs, sports, proms, facebook no alcohol no any kind drugs and never smoke, Not even a single bad word). Most of the people find him "freak" but it wasn't a problem to me. He never lied to me regarding anything and he was always there for me. And very kind to others aswell. Without reason he is suffering from stress and depression since I met him and even after 7 years no progress. (I'm suspecting there are some reason behind why he is not recovering but he is not telling me) He is the only child and he is not close to his parents aswell. (I think i'm the only person he close - Even he speaks, His own parents seems to gave up on him too) I have tried doctors few times by forcely and after few days of counciling he's stop going their. He rejects his medicines aswell. (He doesn't like to drink a single tablet). Doctors says without his support they cannot treat him. (I was helpless so I started to follow councilling course so i can help him somehow) Now he has become so strange than ever before, We are staying on same apartment in two rooms (next to each other).
    Things I notice for past month
    1.His sleep
    He is not sleeping, I hear walking him all the night, So when i call him he says he is going to sleep and then i'm sleeping too. After few hours I hear he is walking again. (He doesn't have time to sleep much during day- and during day time by seeing him it is really visible that he is not having much sleep) When I ask if i can come in to his room whenever i hear steps he rejects it. So after observing few days one day I heard water flowing nonstop instead of walking and I tried calling him, And he didn't seems to answer. So felt something wrong and went to his room, door was unlocked, When I went inside he was not on bed but on bath tub full of water, Tap was open directly to head and He was wearing all the clothes which he had been wearing for all day. He was freezing and doesn't seems to care. I was heart broken by seeing him and never forget that scenario as well. I begged him to come to bed and he agreed, he asked few minitus to have a proper shower and change of cloths. I agreed but didn't want to leave the room. After He finishes I asked why can't he sleep, He hugged me tightly and said some people are screaming inside his head they don't like to leave him, He said he tried really hard but he faild. I was crying so much and we hugged each other for hours that night. After that day evey night I'm keeping his head on my lap touch his forhead until he goes to sleep.
    2.Cutting him self
    He is been cutting his both hands with blades since I met him. I tried my best to stop. When i ask a reason he says he feels peacefull and satisfied by flowing out his bad blood. (He seems to think there's something wrong with his own blood. For past seven years it happens more than 50 times. They are just tiny cuts or blade marks, sometimes letters. After begging and crying not working I finally promissed him that I cut my self if he do that again and made a little cut on my hand for example, It seems to work now. But I'm still affraid.
    3.His phone
    His phone is full of photos of beggers and and people who lives on streets. Homeless people mostly, When i asked why he doesn't reply at all.
    4. His behavior / Speicially reaction to noise
    He is insanly calm and polite when its come to behaving on public and speaking, In really unusual way. He is clever on his studies. He seems extreamly sensitive for noises, He really seems disturb by even a little noise, Usually he is wearing his earphone like half of the day, When there's a bigger noise he wraps his hands around the head and seems suffering a lot. Teachers were really kind at the school, but he was bullied alot due to that.

    5. His foods
    He seems to have no interests on foods, Not even a pizza. Sometime He has missed his meal eventhough it is with him. Usually I'm preparing dinner for both of us and if he is not eating I'm feeding him by my own hand, Then he eats liitle bit and that's it.

    6. Photo phobia
    He doesn't like to stay for any type of photo. If he finds out any photo that he is in, he immidietly delete it, no matter how importent it is.

    This is my story, and I'm seeking kind help or advice from someone to help my best friend, I can't bear the pain when I see him suffering, Sometimes I'm hugging him tightly and then he start crying for no reason, Eventhough he is not telling or complaining I feel he is suffering inside alot. Then I start crying too We don't have any secrets between us and He hasn't done a single wrong thing to me for past seven years, even by a word. Usually everyday before going to sleep I hug him for few minuts and ask what's wrong, Everytime he is smiling at me and replying, " I'm really ok, don't worry, I'm here for you too". But I know he is NOT ok

    I'm writing this on middle of the night while he was sleeping on my lap, I couldn't sleep, didn't know what else to do, I was so sad and totally helpless Just wanted to find a reliable way to cure him.

    Anyones help would be very much appriciated.
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    what are you trying to save him from
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    I want to know whats happening to him and want to save him from everything happening now.
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    Can I get a spark notes version of this?
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    I want to know whats happening to him and want to save him from everything happening now.
    You can't save anyone from anything if the person themselves doesn't want to be saved.
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    (Original post by Volibear)
    You can't save anyone from anything if the person themselves doesn't want to be saved.
    He is not in a condition to understand that.
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    He is not in a condition to understand that.
    Yes. Which is why you can't save him. If he needs help, he has to realise it.

    Sent from my SM-J320FN using Tapatalk
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    I think what you're doing is good, keep supporting him, being with him and hugging him. He knows you are there for him so that's great. Keep giving your support when he is distressed and try and talk to him when he's calmer. All the best x
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    (Original post by Volibear)
    Yes. Which is why you can't save him. If he needs help, he has to realise it.

    Sent from my SM-J320FN using Tapatalk
    You're not helping, Thanks anyway, Do you think I would give up? Never. If he gets better or worse, He is my best friend after all.
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    tl:dr ?
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    Hi, I'm a girl and this is regarding my best friend who is a guy and same age. We are not teenagers, I'm 24 and so he is. We have been best friends for 7 years now. I met him at school and after one year we became best friends. I never had a boy friend and he never had a girl friend so far, so we are like really close to each other and have a unbreakable bond (very unique no words can express that bond) To be honest i'm more like every other girl and He was always extreamly quiet and keeps everything to himself since biginning, no other friends or no any type of social life (No trips, parties, clubs, sports, proms, facebook no alcohol no any kind drugs and never smoke, Not even a single bad word). Most of the people find him "freak" but it wasn't a problem to me. He never lied to me regarding anything and he was always there for me. And very kind to others aswell. Without reason he is suffering from stress and depression since I met him and even after 7 years no progress. (I'm suspecting there are some reason behind why he is not recovering but he is not telling me) He is the only child and he is not close to his parents aswell. (I think i'm the only person he close - Even he speaks, His own parents seems to gave up on him too) I have tried doctors few times by forcely and after few days of counciling he's stop going their. He rejects his medicines aswell. (He doesn't like to drink a single tablet). Doctors says without his support they cannot treat him. (I was helpless so I started to follow councilling course so i can help him somehow) Now he has become so strange than ever before, We are staying on same apartment in two rooms (next to each other).
    Things I notice for past month
    1.His sleep
    He is not sleeping, I hear walking him all the night, So when i call him he says he is going to sleep and then i'm sleeping too. After few hours I hear he is walking again. (He doesn't have time to sleep much during day- and during day time by seeing him it is really visible that he is not having much sleep) When I ask if i can come in to his room whenever i hear steps he rejects it. So after observing few days one day I heard water flowing nonstop instead of walking and I tried calling him, And he didn't seems to answer. So felt something wrong and went to his room, door was unlocked, When I went inside he was not on bed but on bath tub full of water, Tap was open directly to head and He was wearing all the clothes which he had been wearing for all day. He was freezing and doesn't seems to care. I was heart broken by seeing him and never forget that scenario as well. I begged him to come to bed and he agreed, he asked few minitus to have a proper shower and change of cloths. I agreed but didn't want to leave the room. After He finishes I asked why can't he sleep, He hugged me tightly and said some people are screaming inside his head they don't like to leave him, He said he tried really hard but he faild. I was crying so much and we hugged each other for hours that night. After that day evey night I'm keeping his head on my lap touch his forhead until he goes to sleep.
    2.Cutting him self
    He is been cutting his both hands with blades since I met him. I tried my best to stop. When i ask a reason he says he feels peacefull and satisfied by flowing out his bad blood. (He seems to think there's something wrong with his own blood. For past seven years it happens more than 50 times. They are just tiny cuts or blade marks, sometimes letters. After begging and crying not working I finally promissed him that I cut my self if he do that again and made a little cut on my hand for example, It seems to work now. But I'm still affraid.
    3.His phone
    His phone is full of photos of beggers and and people who lives on streets. Homeless people mostly, When i asked why he doesn't reply at all.
    4. His behavior / Speicially reaction to noise
    He is insanly calm and polite when its come to behaving on public and speaking, In really unusual way. He is clever on his studies. He seems extreamly sensitive for noises, He really seems disturb by even a little noise, Usually he is wearing his earphone like half of the day, When there's a bigger noise he wraps his hands around the head and seems suffering a lot. Teachers were really kind at the school, but he was bullied alot due to that.

    5. His foods
    He seems to have no interests on foods, Not even a pizza. Sometime He has missed his meal eventhough it is with him. Usually I'm preparing dinner for both of us and if he is not eating I'm feeding him by my own hand, Then he eats liitle bit and that's it.

    6. Photo phobia
    He doesn't like to stay for any type of photo. If he finds out any photo that he is in, he immidietly delete it, no matter how importent it is.

    This is my story, and I'm seeking kind help or advice from someone to help my best friend, I can't bear the pain when I see him suffering, Sometimes I'm hugging him tightly and then he start crying for no reason, Eventhough he is not telling or complaining I feel he is suffering inside alot. Then I start crying too We don't have any secrets between us and He hasn't done a single wrong thing to me for past seven years, even by a word. Usually everyday before going to sleep I hug him for few minuts and ask what's wrong, Everytime he is smiling at me and replying, " I'm really ok, don't worry, I'm here for you too". But I know he is NOT ok

    I'm writing this on middle of the night while he was sleeping on my lap, I couldn't sleep, didn't know what else to do, I was so sad and totally helpless Just wanted to find a reliable way to cure him.

    Anyones help would be very much appriciated.
    You are doing so much for him.the next stage is to ask for help yourself. You need to speak to his parents about what he is going through/ how they should help their son.
    He may have schizophrenia - the voices in his head.
    I am worried that he is suicidal, and that you are the only thing keeping him going, which is very dangerous, and it is important that you confide in someone to help you, because this is taking a toll on you for sure.
    Also, you need to have a proper conversation with him. Although he is suffering and I feel bad for him, there isSO much that he could be doing to at least try to get better, but it seems as though he has just given up on himself.
    He NEEDs to take him medication and go to councelling if he wants to improve in any way.
    You are an amazing support system to him, but as I said before, clearly you need support from elsewhere to help him ( his parents, or maybe your sibling. Etc )
    You are so gentle with him, but you now need to be forceful when it comes to getting him help.

    He is self harming, and thinking he has bad blood is a huge red flag again that links to mental health but I can't diagnose.

    Although you harm yourself to deter him from harming himself, that is also very dangerous.
    Realistically if he wants to self harm he will. You may think he has stopped, but he probably just does it in places you can't see.
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    (Original post by pfdavina)
    You are doing so much for him.the next stage is to ask for help yourself. You need to speak to his parents about what he is going through/ how they should help their son.
    He may have schizophrenia - the voices in his head.
    I am worried that he is suicidal, and that you are the only thing keeping him going, which is very dangerous, and it is important that you confide in someone to help you, because this is taking a toll on you for sure.
    Also, you need to have a proper conversation with him. Although he is suffering and I feel bad for him, there isSO much that he could be doing to at least try to get better, but it seems as though he has just given up on himself.
    He NEEDs to take him medication and go to councelling if he wants to improve in any way.
    You are an amazing support system to him, but as I said before, clearly you need support from elsewhere to help him ( his parents, or maybe your sibling. Etc )
    You are so gentle with him, but you now need to be forceful when it comes to getting him help.

    He is self harming, and thinking he has bad blood is a huge red flag again that links to mental health but I can't diagnose.

    Although you harm yourself to deter him from harming himself, that is also very dangerous.
    Realistically if he wants to self harm he will. You may think he has stopped, but he probably just does it in places you can't see.
    Thank you very much for kind words, It means a lot, How I'm trying to convince him is show this threads (I have been posting this everywhere) and gently let him understand that he needs help and I need him to get better. He wants to keep me happy,. I just want to find a way to convince him that'm happy when he gets better
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    You're not helping, Thanks anyway, Do you think I would give up? Never. If he gets better or worse, He is my best friend after all.
    I'm telling you as it is. If he doesn't want help, then help won't work for him. If he needs medication, he has to be the one who wants to take it. If he needs conselling, he needs to be the one who goes to it, puts effort in, and gets the most out of it. If he wants to change, he needs to do it. By all means continue to be a supportive friend and let him know that there are resources and people that want to help him, but be aware that he is the one who needs to want to change and get better, and no amount of goodwill from you may get him to do it.
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    Thank you very much for kind words, It means a lot, How I'm trying to convince him is show this threads (I have been posting this everywhere) and gently let him understand that he needs help and I need him to get better. He wants to keep me happy,. I just want to find a way to convince him that'm happy when he gets better
    When its come to self harming, I think he is not doing it now, Since he promised me. I have seen some unique characteristics from him. (Certain things I have not seen from ordinary people) If he promised me he would never do that again. (When ever he is sleeping I tried to find any new cuts, but there were none.
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    (Original post by Volibear)
    I'm telling you as it is. If he doesn't want help, then help won't work for him. If he needs medication, he has to be the one who wants to take it. If he needs conselling, he needs to be the one who goes to it, puts effort in, and gets the most out of it. If he wants to change, he needs to do it. By all means continue to be a supportive friend and let him know that there are resources and people that want to help him, but be aware that he is the one who needs to want to change and get better, and no amount of goodwill from you may get him to do it.
    I understand, Thank you very much, I'm planning to show this thread to him, And let him understand he can be better, And I'm suffering a lot too, And only way to make me happy is get better. Since he is not interested on anything or anyone but me.
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    • #1
    #1

    Beefly, as has been already stated, it appears he is suffering from a mental illness, I am not a doctor, but I am someone who has suffered from this as well. Your friend is probably suffering from psychosis (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/psychosis/).

    This thread may not be a good thing to show him, (assuming his current state) but the advice and comments given be used to help him.

    The voices he seems to have can be saying hurtful things to him, in order to help you understand Beefly (think of it as a group of people constantly scrutinising and criticising you every hour of every day, that is a basic way of summarising it). This is possibly why he is 'walking around' as you say, as he is either listening or conversating with them. if he does not wish to take his medicine (for whatever reason), there is an alternative for him to develop a better relationship with his voices.

    I would be happy to discuss this with you and him further on a personal individual level, if you both will find that helpful. Your friend is not alone, in what he's facing. But a great thing is that he has someone to support him.
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    Wow I wish I had a friend like you
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    (Original post by Zxyn)
    Wow I wish I had a friend like you
    Why do you say so?
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    (Original post by Beefly)
    Thank you very much for kind words, It means a lot, How I'm trying to convince him is show this threads (I have been posting this everywhere) and gently let him understand that he needs help and I need him to get better. He wants to keep me happy,. I just want to find a way to convince him that'm happy when he gets better
    if he wants to keep you happy tell him he needs to get help and that if he wants you will go with him if he wants, because what will truly make you happy is seeing him better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    if he wants to keep you happy tell him he needs to get help and that if he wants you will go with him if he wants, because what will truly make you happy is seeing him better
    Thanks, Your reply means lot to me.
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