being alone at 20 years old

hello i would like to share my situation and have some advice , so i am a 20 year old man from a scale 1 to 10 every girl tells me am an 8 , and this is my problem i was in a long distance relationship for about 3 years every summer i would be with this girl and on the winter we always had to separate because i am currently living in another country an we both suffered a lot its been 5 yars now 2 that we "are not " together and as i said we sufferd a lot so i always had my hart broken btw we never had sex , until last year i lost my virnity to this girl that a met and had a little crush on her for a while , then this girl that i lost my virginity start telling me she loves me and bla bla bla turns out she was ****ing another dudes on the side and she broke my hart , so for the second time i had my hart broken and i cant stop thinking about this two girl , but my real problem is i litrely seem enable to fall in love again and really afraid to have sex because i just think another girl is gonna hurt me , i go out with friends i dont meet a lot of girls the ones i do i talk with them but i loose interest very quickly , so i just want some opnions what should i do this fear of a broken hart is really messing up my life , all i want is a nice respectful relationship

Reply 1

Bham369

Original post by Anonymous

PM me

Reply 2

username2178331

Original post by Anonymous

If we never went thorough awful things in relationships we would never be able to recognise the good ones that come our way. I've said this a million times, each failed relationships and every time you have got your heart broken is a lesson. And its a lesson that needs to be learnt and a feeling that need to be felt in order to know the difference between real lasting love and love that is fickle. I know it hurts right now but take it from someone ten years older than you, its important that it hurts because it will lead you to better things, and will make you a stronger person who knows what they want in the future.

Reply 3

henrymaie

jesus take the wheel. first of all, *heart (</3), *virginity, *dude, *blah, *literally, *lose, *unable.second of all, i dont even know what to say in response to this cluster**** of a comment. good luck my man. All the best,Thetford Sixth Form

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by henrymaie

i am sorry , i am Portuguese

Reply 5

angelofessence

Get over it. I'm 22 and I've never bothered with any of this utter garbage. Society has such a massive pressure and label that if you don't be with anyone then your lonely, sad, depressed, a loser etc. Get the hell out, there's such a stigma attatched to being single and so many people fall foul of it. It's not mandatory to be in a relationship and you don't need one to be happy. Sure a lot of people do get on well in them and flourish, but I think there's definitely too much emphasis on it all in this day and age. Let life come naturally and just enjoy things for what they are, you're trying too hard OP, let loose a little, wish you all the best.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

yeah i think your right , we dont need to be in a relationship , not at all , but i really do want one a normal one , i feel like i dont know what that is , if you know what i mean

Reply 7

Dunnig Kruger

Stop taking your life so seriously.
Stop taking sexual relationships so seriously.

Sexual partners will come and go. That's life.

Treat your next partner as your amusing hobby. For sure you can love your hobbies very much. And you should love your partner very much. But when things go wrong in your relationships, treat it the same you'd treat it if your hobbies went wrong.

Let's say for example, your hobby was train spotting. And you had a big love for Type 91 locomotives. When all of a sudden there was a train crash as a result of a design fault with Type 91's and they were all withdrawn from service, permanently overnight. You'd be upset. But hey, trainspotting is your hobby and you do it for fun and enjoyment. So you'd carry on with your life and still be happy.

Or let's say you're into video gaming. And you love playing World of Tanks. And then there's a big scandal and Wargaming go out of business overnight, so you couldn't play Tanks any more. You'd just move onto the next game and be just as happy playing that as World of Tanks.

Also, live in the present. Don't live in the past. And don't live in the future - especially when you create a bleak future in your imagination. Live each day the best you can. Day by day.

Reply 8

username2178331

Original post by Anonymous

yeah i think your right , we dont need to be in a relationship , not at all , but i really do want one a normal one , i feel like i dont know what that is , if you know what i mean