My life is falling apart Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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This time two years ago, everything was absolutely fine. I had a nice group of friends at college and was able to keep up to date with my coursework no problem. Then at the end of the year, out of the blue, one of my closest friends unfriended me on Facebook and everything took a turn for the worse. I lost trust in talking to people and this has had a knock-on impact onto today. I am still at the same college now and have applied to go to uni next year but thinking about these past events has meant that I have not been able to put in as much effort into my studies as I had hoped. I don’t think I’ll even be able to cope with the academic pressures of university now, let alone the social ones. I have autism which has always made it more difficult for me to approach new people and talk to friends in large groups, however, the fear of someone not wanting to be my friend has made this issue so much worse for me in recent years.

Despite hardly making any friends in the past year, I now have a crush on a girl in my class. We do talk and have some similar interests but my past thoughts are stopping me from getting to know her better, and in turn making me even more anxious. I worry that if I tell her I like her, or that I have autism, she will think I’m weird and possibly stop talking to me altogether, which would make me feel absolutely worthless. All I want in life is to have a lovely friend, and she could be the one. Any advice on what I should do?
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angelatwork
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I'm so sorry that your friends have let you down in the past year but don't worry about uni! It's all new people and I promise there will be tons of people you'll really connect with and who like you for you! You have to remember that at uni there are way way way more people than at secondary school/college. You'll find true friends. As for your autism, my older brother has autism and found friendships hard at school, but when he went off to uni he met so many incredible people who love him for who he is and going to uni has honestly been the best decision he has ever made. If the girl who you mentioned is as nice as you think she is, she shouldn't turn away from you if you tell her you like her, or if you mention that you have autism. You could try to give her hints that you like her or just take a small step such as simply asking to hang out with her a bit more? I don't know if this helped but I really hope things get better for you this year. Try to remain postive and just think about the endless opportunities and amazing friendships you'll have next year at uni! And also don't worry about the work load, because it hits everyone hard at first but you'll soon get used to it.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by angelatwork)
I'm so sorry that your friends have let you down in the past year but don't worry about uni! It's all new people and I promise there will be tons of people you'll really connect with and who like you for you! You have to remember that at uni there are way way way more people than at secondary school/college. You'll find true friends. As for your autism, my older brother has autism and found friendships hard at school, but when he went off to uni he met so many incredible people who love him for who he is and going to uni has honestly been the best decision he has ever made. If the girl who you mentioned is as nice as you think she is, she shouldn't turn away from you if you tell her you like her, or if you mention that you have autism. You could try to give her hints that you like her or just take a small step such as simply asking to hang out with her a bit more? I don't know if this helped but I really hope things get better for you this year. Try to remain postive and just think about the endless opportunities and amazing friendships you'll have next year at uni! And also don't worry about the work load, because it hits everyone hard at first but you'll soon get used to it.
Thank you for the advice
I am really pleased to hear that your brother got on well at uni. Still feel uncertain about going though as uni is such a big commitment and would be a real shame if I messed it up like I have already done with college. I am thinking about whether it would be better for me to take a gap year to improve my confidence and gain additional life experience.
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angelatwork
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice
I am really pleased to hear that your brother got on well at uni. Still feel uncertain about going though as uni is such a big commitment and would be a real shame if I messed it up like I have already done with college. I am thinking about whether it would be better for me to take a gap year to improve my confidence and gain additional life experience.
My brother took a gap year (mainly because he needed to repeat one of his alevels) but I think he really enjoyed it People taking a gap year is more and more common and it's great because it allows you to take some time to figure out what you really want to do with your life, instead of just rushing into a uni or course that you're unsure about. So yea maybe taking a gap year would suit you really well But if you do decide to go to uni don't worry you won't mess it up! Everyone there is in the same boat so you can always talk to people if you are feeling stressed etc because odds are they'll be feeling the same!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by angelatwork)
My brother took a gap year (mainly because he needed to repeat one of his alevels) but I think he really enjoyed it People taking a gap year is more and more common and it's great because it allows you to take some time to figure out what you really want to do with your life, instead of just rushing into a uni or course that you're unsure about. So yea maybe taking a gap year would suit you really well But if you do decide to go to uni don't worry you won't mess it up! Everyone there is in the same boat so you can always talk to people if you are feeling stressed etc because odds are they'll be feeling the same!
Thank you. I think taking a gap year will really help me find my feet
As for people being in the same boat as me, I think that is already happening with my crush right now. She is quite shy herself and seems to be struggling with the work load as well. I really want to support her and make her feel better although I'm so nervous about asking just in case she might say something that suggests she doesn't really want to hang out with me.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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My confidence has been knocked even further as one of my mutual friends has just told me that my crush is seriously considering going out with another guy. It's the most heartbreaking feeling I've ever been through. I still really want to be good friends with her but now I know that she's interested in this guy, it's going to put me under so much more pressure to play it cool. With my autism also affecting me socially, I’m so worried that I’m going to make a lot of awkward mistakes next time I have a conversation with her.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 year ago
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I know how this feels but sadly that’s what happens when you leave school your friendship group gets smaller and smaller I only have one friend left but me and her share almost everything
Tbh maybe go on tinder that’s how I made a lot of friends it’s not just for dating
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know how this feels but sadly that’s what happens when you leave school your friendship group gets smaller and smaller I only have one friend left but me and her share almost everything
Tbh maybe go on tinder that’s how I made a lot of friends it’s not just for dating
I know, it's really sad but unfortunately people have to move on with their lives. I guess the best I can do is to make the most out of my current classmates in college before my course ends in June. As for Tinder, I think it's a great idea for making friends but I don't think I'll get a lot of matches. I have a feeling most of the girls on there just want to be in a relationship with fit guys.

I was wondering whether it would be worth sending a quick message to some of my old friends on Facebook/Snapchat to see how they're doing. I did this to an old school friend of mine who I hadn't seen in two years and it worked as we now meet up at least once a month.
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