An unbiased tally:
- Cambridge is better than Oxford academically by virtually all metrics in virtually all subjects
- Cambridge is significantly richer than Oxford
- Cambridge has produced far more Nobel Laureates than Oxford, and the second most of any uni in the world
- In rowing, CUBC are slightly better than OUBC, CUWBC are significantly better than OUWBC, and CULRC are better than OULRC to the point of embarrassment
- Cambridge has both Eric Monkman and Bobby Seagull: Oxford can boast neither of these luminaries
- Cambridge's May Balls are well-known to be far better than every Oxford ball, with the Commemoration Ball only on a par with average May Balls. St John's May Ball was named the 7th best party in the world by TIME, meaning it's superior to the Oscar's Winners' Ceremony
- Cambridge student theatre is significantly better than Oxford's: the Footlights are a global brand, and can boast such alumni as Richard Ayoade, Eric Idle, Sue Perkins, Hugh Laurie, Bill Oddie, David Mitchell, Sandi Toksvig, Tom Hollander, John Cleese, Olivia Colman, and Stephen Fry