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What do I do? My mom is invading my privacy!

On my phone I talk to my friends (nothing inappropriate) and recently my mom has been taking my phone to read everything. I got really annoyed at this so I deleted my messages because every time she takes my phone she asks me stupid questions like "who is ben?!" or "what bus is that?!" and she thinks I'm meeting up with people. Anyways I deleted my messages and then she wanted to check my phone again and there was nothing there. She got really mad and said by the end of the day I have to tell her what I'm hiding. Wtf

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Put loads of disgusting **** on your phone, then hand it to her.

That'll make her think twice before spying on you again.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
On my phone I talk to my friends (nothing inappropriate) and recently my mom has been taking my phone to read everything. I got really annoyed at this so I deleted my messages because every time she takes my phone she asks me stupid questions like "who is ben?!" or "what bus is that?!" and she thinks I'm meeting up with people. Anyways I deleted my messages and then she wanted to check my phone again and there was nothing there. She got really mad and said by the end of the day I have to tell her what I'm hiding. Wtf

So tell her what she suspects:

That you are a member of a gang and you are the gang leaders b****. Tell her you don't do drugs and only spliff after school on your way home. Tell her not to worry about sex coz you are on the pill and you check for STD's every three months. Tell her that you have saved a bit of money with the modelling work you do and that you have quite a good following on amateur websites and film producers have approached you for auditions with a view to promoting you. Tell her your dad knows all about it coz he left his laptop open and you saw he was looking for someone to help him for a couple if hours on a business trip and it was supposed to be a surprise for you.

That should do the trick.
The question is why is she suspecting something. There must be a reason why she started being suspicious. Address that reason first
Reply 4
Avatar for 3121
3121
21
Troll her
just be grateful you have parents who care about what you're up to. you won't appreciate it now but you will when you're older.
If she only started doing it, then she must have a reason. Try talking to her and asking what changed for her to suddenly be so suspicious. Also, how old are you? If you're 16 or older then it's a little weird, talk to her about respecting your privacy. You aren't a child anymore and you should be responsible. If she raised you right, you would know how to stay safe. If you're under 16, then it's a little understandable because being that young you may not realise what you're getting yourself into. As I always say, communication is the way to solving problems. Your mum isn't telling you why she wants to check your phone suddenly, and you aren't telling her how it is making you feel. Communicate to know the intentions of each other then you can resolve the issue. No point moaning to us if you don't talk to the person causing the issue.
Better to talk to her and tell her how you feel about it... if you leave it, then it can put strain on your relationship and make things awkward/different between you, which then can spiral downhill...
It is important to remember that your mother went through 9 months of pregnancy and labour to bring you into this world, so it is only natural that she makes a big deal about what you are doing. Try opening up more about your social life to her, sometimes parents overreact because they truly don't know what is going on and are deeply concerned. It is crucial to establish some common ground.
Hope this helps. Xx
Original post by Anonymous
On my phone I talk to my friends (nothing inappropriate) and recently my mom has been taking my phone to read everything. I got really annoyed at this so I deleted my messages because every time she takes my phone she asks me stupid questions like "who is ben?!" or "what bus is that?!" and she thinks I'm meeting up with people. Anyways I deleted my messages and then she wanted to check my phone again and there was nothing there. She got really mad and said by the end of the day I have to tell her what I'm hiding. Wtf


Ahhh, helicopter parenting. Tell her to watch an episode of Black Mirror called 'Arkangel'. Basically, the same thing happens; a mum is looking over her child constantly and not letting her have any privacy. In the end, the girl gets so angry about her overprotective mother and they get into an argument and the girl smashes her iPad against her mums face repeatedly and then runs away. Once your mum has watched this episode ask her "So, what have we learned?"
You should be grateful that you have parents who care about your safety and wellbeing! Many people in the world do not and as a result end up making bad decisions and facing the consequences of those actions.
My mom checked my phone and saw when i was trying to chat up a girl
Punch the *****
Disgusting. Call the police at once, push for a 10 year sentence
Original post by Anonymous
On my phone I talk to my friends (nothing inappropriate) and recently my mom has been taking my phone to read everything. I got really annoyed at this so I deleted my messages because every time she takes my phone she asks me stupid questions like "who is ben?!" or "what bus is that?!" and she thinks I'm meeting up with people. Anyways I deleted my messages and then she wanted to check my phone again and there was nothing there. She got really mad and said by the end of the day I have to tell her what I'm hiding. Wtf


This is the best advice I can give you. Move out, stand on your own two feet and be independent of your parent (s). Pay your own way. Then you can do what you want, when you want and with whoever you want with no one giving a toss about you or supporting you through **** times.
Or, as others have said, perhaps your mother has a reason to do what she does. In that case, stop whining and be thankful that you have a parent who actually cares about you. You might not like the way she does it, so address it with her.
Reply 15
Avatar for h333
h333
16
She is concerned and cares about you. Be patient, do not get angry- she’s your Mum, so respect her. Find out why she feels suspicious and address the issue by talking to her calmly about it.
I can understand the frustration. The best thing to do is keep conversations innocent for a bit and everytime she wants to see, say, ‘this makes me feel very uncomfortable and I feel like you’re violating my privacy. I have nothing bad on here so I will show you, but I feel like you don’t trust me.’

It’s a sort of reverse guilt trip. I completely understand the need for privacy and I hated it when my stuff got checked but I’ve learned the best thing to do is give a little and take a lot in the end.

(In the end, count yourself lucky. I have a friend age 16 who:
- can’t take her phone upstairs in her own house
- gets forced into doing school work during the day (and she already does it in evening willingly by her own volition) and has her phone taken during this time
- until last year had a tracker app on her phone
- can’t have any private passwords, her parents have access to everything.

That’s helicopter parenting.)
Original post by Anonymous
On my phone I talk to my friends (nothing inappropriate) and recently my mom has been taking my phone to read everything. I got really annoyed at this so I deleted my messages because every time she takes my phone she asks me stupid questions like "who is ben?!" or "what bus is that?!" and she thinks I'm meeting up with people. Anyways I deleted my messages and then she wanted to check my phone again and there was nothing there. She got really mad and said by the end of the day I have to tell her what I'm hiding. Wtf


How old are you? Depending on your age, your mom is your legal guardian and can invade your privacy until you're old enough to make your own choices.

If you're old enough, get a job and move out into a place of your own so you're free from mom's spying.
Original post by Conniestitution
I can understand the frustration. The best thing to do is keep conversations innocent for a bit and everytime she wants to see, say, ‘this makes me feel very uncomfortable and I feel like you’re violating my privacy. I have nothing bad on here so I will show you, but I feel like you don’t trust me.’

It’s a sort of reverse guilt trip. I completely understand the need for privacy and I hated it when my stuff got checked but I’ve learned the best thing to do is give a little and take a lot in the end.

(In the end, count yourself lucky. I have a friend age 16 who:
- can’t take her phone upstairs in her own house
- gets forced into doing school work during the day (and she already does it in evening willingly by her own volition) and has her phone taken during this time
- until last year had a tracker app on her phone
- can’t have any private passwords, her parents have access to everything.

That’s helicopter parenting.)


One approach (although somewhat radical) would be to stop using your phone, and get yourself a 'burner phone' - like the drug dealers use here in the states. They are sold for cash, so buy it for cash. That way there's no credit card record, and it's not tied to your name/addy. It's 'pay as you go' - so there are no bills. You don't pay up, your phone stops working until you do. I know people who use 'burner phones' to deal with their contractors, when they are doing government contracting. That way, if someone leaks their cellphone number, they don't have to worry about some ISIS hack playing "come to see allah" on an uzi, the next time they step off the plane in Beruit. Since they are the only one using the phone, and they answer "hello" - with no name associated with it - they are fairly secure. Cheers.
Original post by Rabbit2
One approach (although somewhat radical) would be to stop using your phone, and get yourself a 'burner phone' - like the drug dealers use here in the states. They are sold for cash, so buy it for cash. That way there's no credit card record, and it's not tied to your name/addy. It's 'pay as you go' - so there are no bills. You don't pay up, your phone stops working until you do. I know people who use 'burner phones' to deal with their contractors, when they are doing government contracting. That way, if someone leaks their cellphone number, they don't have to worry about some ISIS hack playing "come to see allah" on an uzi, the next time they step off the plane in Beruit. Since they are the only one using the phone, and they answer "hello" - with no name associated with it - they are fairly secure. Cheers.


Hahaha relax, I'm sure this isn't the solution to OPs problem...

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