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    Hello, I am looking for someone to possibly 'mark' or read over my answer to question 4 for paper 2? I understand that you might not have read the extracts, however, I mainly would like to see if my answer is good in terms of the way I wrote it and terminology I use?

    I have stated below what the extracts are below.

    Text A= extract from The Girl of the period by Eliza Lynn Linton
    Text B = a letter to the time newspaper in which 16 year old Jenni Herd responds to an article about teenagers.

    Question: Compare how the two writers convey their different attitudes to younger generations. In your answer you could;
    compare their different attitudes
    compare the methods they use to convey their attitudes
    support your ideas with reference to both texts

    Answer: Both texts convey their feelings about the impact adults have on young female's lives. In text A, Linton explains how she considers adults responsible for controlling girls of the younger generation. While in text B, Herd personally reveals how teenagers are not as irrational and immature as adults seem to think and instead be treated more like women.

    Blame is a key theme in both texts as Linton suggest mothers are 'grow[ing] stout and lazy due to the lack of care for their daughters when allowing them to 'parade the streets alone'. Similarly, Herd illustrates that adults are to blame for their lack of intelligence and knowledge when talking about teenagers.

    In source A, the writer uses lists of 3 and repetition as she states that girls 'walk alone, travel alone, visit alone' which connotes that she is eager to put her point across about the situation, therefore, repeats the adverb 'alone' to stick the word into the readers head. On the other hand, Herd uses inclusive pronouns such as 'we'. The effect of an inclusive pronoun is to address the reader and make them feel involved.

    Linton writes in third person 'her' to show how the problem is happening to more than one person than herself. Whereas Herd writes in first person 'I' to create an effect on the reader and make them feel sympathetic because it's a personal point of view. Furthermore, the structure is used in both texts to show that the situation is serious, creating an impact on the reader, and must be dealt with.

    It would mean a lot to me if somebody could just read over my answer and let me know how it is, if the structure is okay, use of linking words and what not to do.
    I would love any advice and possibly a grade?

    Thank you,
    GCSE STUDENT - Ciara
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    It's a good answer, because you stick closely to the requirements of the mark scheme. The structure is fine.

    The area to look at is the effect of the language. You have correctly spotted the repetition and list of three, but could be more precise about the effect; ' 'walk alone, travel alone, visit alone' which connotes that she is eager to put her point across about the situation, therefore, repeats the adverb 'alone' to stick the word into the readers head' What is important about 'alone'? What actually is the point that she is putting across? I can't say without seeing the text, but maybe she repeats 'alone' to emphasis the independence of girls, or maybe 'alone' is listed three times to highlight to the reader the risks that girls take?
    Similarly "to create an effect on the reader" is very vague; it could be applied to almost any writing. 'make them feel sympathetic is better, and you could add to this by explaining how it allows us to understand her thoughts and feelings more precisely.
    ' the structure is used in both texts to show that the situation is serious,' could also do with being more detailed. What is the structure that has been used? HOW does this make it serious?
    It's hard to give a grade without seeing the source material, but as a rough estimate it might get 10 or 11 out of 16 so far.

    I hope this doesn't sound too critical. Explaining the effect of language is the hardest part of this question, so it is what examiners will look for before awarding top marks. I've read plenty of answers that say things like 'The writer does this for effect.' or 'She has used repetition. This makes the reader want to read on' which are so vague that they don't show any understanding at all. Yours was better than that. If you can give even more detail about the feelings and thoughts of each writer that would be good too.
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    It means so much to me for you to take the time to give me feedback on my answer. It’s not to critical at all and anyway I need any criticism so that I can improve on my work. This has helped me out so much and next time I know what to improve on in order to get those high marks, thank you again Ciara
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    was this the mock
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    No it was just a question the teacher set us in the classroom
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    have you done the mock?
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    (Original post by josh-clarke)
    have you done the mock?
    No, I have it on Friday
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    This is way too short
 
 
 
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