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Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating? watch

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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    I have never expected a man to ask me out.
    That's good that you are like that. But most women will wait and wait and wait. And give subtle hints here and there, but never actually ask a man out.

    If you want something, you go out and get it. Women want to be strong independent minded and forge careers for themselves. So why can't they be strong confident women and ask out the man they want?
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Correct me if i am wrong, but I thought we were pushing for equality of both genders. I thought you were a feminist.

    Some women have been fierce about equality to the point of “we don't need men”. Yet some women, like you, want men to do these things without them making much effort.
    No, guys here are not asking for "equality". They straight up want women to pay for dates, take them out, approach first. How is that equal? They want every women to do all the work and then if you are a girl with standards, like me then you get labelled as a "fake feminist"
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    That's good that you are like that. But most women will wait and wait and wait. And give subtle hints here and there, but never actually ask a man out.

    If you want something, you go out and get it. Women want to be strong independent minded and forge careers for themselves. So why can't they be strong confident women and ask out the man they want?
    I'll never ask a man out. And yes there are other women out there that won't. Move on and date the women that ask you out then....
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    This is what I don't understand about the modern day gender equality/feminism movement. They want equality in some areas, but other areas they are happy for things to stay the same as long as they receive the benefit.

    Women want equal treatment in the workplace with their male colleagues. They want equal pay (FWIW the gender pay gap is a myth - same job for same hours get paid the same, otherwise it's illegal), they don't want to experience sexual harassment in the workplace (what about all the false accusations which ruin men's careers?), they want the same opportunities men have, they want equal opportunities for promotion (despite many of them taking time off for maternity leave).

    This is all fair enough. Except they don't want equality in dating. Men are still expected to:

    - ask the woman out and face possible rejection (women might give subtle hints, but under no circumstances will they ask the man out - that is "his job")
    - pay for the first date (and possible subsequent dates as well)
    - propose to the woman
    - treat her with meals/gifts
    - hold open the door for her
    - give up his coat if she's cold, so he can freeze (but never the other way around)
    - put the majority of effort into sex (this is centered around pleasing the woman - the man's enjoyment is always assumed)
    - be manly and dominant, never show any weak emotions, keep his problems bottled up because otherwise it's "unmanly"
    - household chores must now be shared. Women no longer have to do all the cooking and cleaning, it's shared equally between men, because otherwise it's gender discrimination/oppression. Despite the fact men are still seen as the primary breadwinner in the household and a man without a job is a virtual disaster.


    So back to the original question: Why do women want gender equality in the workplace (and indeed many other areas), but not in dating? I'm interested to hear to views of men, women and any feminists.
    You’re making a lot of generalisations. That’s not true at all.

    Asking out is a personal choice. Generally I wait to be asked out if I’m chatting with someone I’m interested in, whether that’s due to insecurity or because I’ve been conditioned to I’m not sure. But I don’t sit there and think “I’d like to date him but I shall wait until he asks me because that’s how it must work” And I’ve been the one to ask before.

    Keeping emotions bottled up is the opposite of what a lot of feminists agree with. I don’t agree with the fact that there’s a pre conception for men having to be “hard” and show no emotion. I don’t like the fact that suicide rates are 4x higher for males. But if anything, girls LIKE a man who shows emotions. It’s guys that might potentially view him as weak because of it

    As a woman, I always make a genuine offer to split the bill on a first date. Usually it’s met with a “No no it’s fine I’ve got it” in which is fine, I’ll accept that - And the only time I “expect” the man to pay, is if he’s said (or typed) the words “it’s my treat”

    Household chores don’t HAVE to be shared, but it’s nice, given you both live under the same roof. There’s not a strict 50/50 rule.

    You should hold the door open for anyone regardless. Its nothing to do with gender - It’s to do with manners.

    In terms of the sex comment, men climax through penetration. Women, usually do not. Meaning you have to pay a bit more attention to other areas for both parties to reach orgasm. It’s not taking enjoyment away from the man.

    FYI, the pay gap isn’t a myth. Look it up.
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    So why do women still expect the man to ask her out? As well as all the other things I listed in the first post.

    Women don't want equality in dating because that would mean having to do things they don't want to do. However, they do want equality in areas where they feel inferior to men. Just not in areas where they feel superior (i.e. dating).
    I would disagree , I don't expect men to do things for me in dating such as pay the bill or wait for a man to ask me out. I find that incredibly old fashioned and most women I speak to also wouldn't expect that. But if we were looking at it from your point view , then it's still wrong to say women are superior in dating if men have to ask them out , hold the door , pay the bill as these are all saying men are in still control or have to look after women as we can't do that ourselves! Pay the bill? Oh yes because women can't pay the bill as we can't earn our own money without help from men or our fathers! So it sounds crazy to me to think that women are superior in dating! Also to ignore and disregard the pay gap is ridiculous.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    No, guys here are not asking for "equality". They straight up want women to pay for dates, take them out, approach first. How is that equal? They want every women to do all the work and then if you are a girl with standards, like me then you get labelled as a "fake feminist"
    Bearing in mind that men have picked up the slack for decades, isn’t it time for women to do so for a while?

    This double standard is at the core of this thread where some men are saying that women want equality when it suits them, but ask men to be men when the going gets tough.

    Many women would not ask a guy out because they know how devastating it would be to get rejected. They would not want to pay for the dinner because they know they don't want to spend in an expensive restaurant.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Bearing in mind that men have picked up the slack for decades, isn’t it time for women to do so for a while?

    This double standard is at the core of this thread where some men are saying that women want equality when it suits them, but ask men to be men when the going gets tough.

    Many women would not ask a guy out because they know how devastating it would be to get rejected. They would not want to pay for the dinner because they know they don't want to spend in an expensive restaurant.
    I don't care lol. Biologically men are naturally more aggressive than women and are supposed to do the chasing it's a natural instinct. Women don't have this instinct. It's not sexist or going against feminism to say that.

    I am not scared of rejection at all- It's part of life lol. Girls doing the chasing is just desperate.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    I don't care lol. Biologically men are naturally more aggressive than women and are supposed to do the chasing it's a natural instinct. Women don't have this instinct. It's not sexist or going against feminism to say that.

    I am not scared of rejection at all- It's part of life lol. Girls doing the chasing is just desperate.
    What utter nonsense! If you want something, you go out and get it.

    You don't just wait for all the clothes in the shop to come to you. No, you go and choose them yourself.

    You don't wait for a career to come to you. No, you forge a career yourself.


    If you're waiting and waiting for a guy to approach you, you're leaving it to fate. In that case, the only guys who will approach you are players and sleazebags (then women complain that there aren't any good men out there - ever wondered why?).


    There's so many confident, aggressive women these days. They behave almost like men. I run into them all the time. It's really not difficult to extend that confidence to asking a man out. If you don't, then frankly you're lazy and can't complain when men don't treat you as equals.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    I don't care lol. Biologically men are naturally more aggressive than women and are supposed to do the chasing it's a natural instinct. Women don't have this instinct. It's not sexist or going against feminism to say that.

    I am not scared of rejection at all- It's part of life lol. Girls doing the chasing is just desperate.
    You are missing the point.

    The issue is that some women demand a different set of rules whilst campaigning for “equality”
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    You are missing the point.

    The issue is that some women demand a different set of rules whilst campaigning for “equality”
    I am not missing anything.
    "Men" on here are complaining about asking out women and paying for dates even though there are plenty of women who do already. (So is there not equality?). However I am definitely not one of them. I would even say women are more aggressive than men nowadays.
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    What utter nonsense! If you want something, you go out and get it.

    You don't just wait for all the clothes in the shop to come to you. No, you go and choose them yourself.

    You don't wait for a career to come to you. No, you forge a career yourself.


    If you're waiting and waiting for a guy to approach you, you're leaving it to fate. In that case, the only guys who will approach you are players and sleazebags (then women complain that there aren't any good men out there - ever wondered why?).


    There's so many confident, aggressive women these days. They behave almost like men. I run into them all the time. It's really not difficult to extend that confidence to asking a man out. If you don't, then frankly you're lazy and can't complain when men don't treat you as equals.
    lol, listen I don't care.
    I would rather die alone than to chase after men and that is not really true lol. I prefer a guy to have confidence so I would want him to approach first
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    lol, listen I don't care.
    I would rather die alone than to chase after men and that is not really true lol. I prefer a guy to have confidence so I would want him to approach first
    Let me ask - if you expect a man to do this, do you also accept that you must adopt female gender roles? Like doing all the housework, being paid less for the same work, being judged purely based on your looks and never under any circumstances on your intellectual value, character or personality.
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    Let me ask - if you expect a man to do this, do you also accept that you must adopt female gender roles? Like doing all the housework, being paid less for the same work, judged purely based on your looks and never under any circumstances on your intellectual value, character or personality.

    No because none of those traits are biological to women.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    I am not missing anything.
    "Men" on here are complaining about asking out women and paying for dates even though there are plenty of women who do already. (So is there not equality?). However I am definitely not one of them. I would even say women are more aggressive than men nowadays.
    Ok.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    No because none of those traits are biological to women.
    And asking out someone is not biological to men either. Last time I checked, a woman could ask someone out.

    Seems like you're just a hypocrite that wants equality only in certain areas. Just like how I described in the first post.
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    And asking out someone is not biological to men either. Last time I checked, a woman could ask someone out.

    Seems like you're just a hypocrite that wants equality only in certain areas. Just like how I described in the first post.
    No, I am not. Just stop. I refuse to ask out guys just like most UK "Men" do. End of. It's equal now.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    You are missing the point.

    The issue is that some women demand a different set of rules whilst campaigning for “equality”
    As if men don’t expect their women to cook and clean, care for the kids AND be independent with a full time job. It’s not totally one sided
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    As if men don’t expect their women to cook and clean, care for the kids AND be independent with a full time job. It’s not totally one sided
    You have hit the spot.

    Some men that I know and i assume some other men are fine with a homely woman. Her man provides and she supports plus builds the family with him. It is an old-fashioned and traditional way of thinking but some people like it.

    The issue now is that some women, in the name of equality and feminism, are picking and choosing the best bits for themselves. They want the man to do all the “man” things like approaching them, impressing them, providing and what not; but then want to reap the benefits.

    They want to be treated like Queens but don't want to serve their Kings.

    Some women don't know how difficult some “man” things are to do. They think it is just easy to walk up to a woman, knowing that she can crush you in a moment’s notice, and try to impress her.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    You have hit the spot.

    Some men that I know and i assume some other men are fine with a homely woman. Her man provides and she supports plus builds the family with him. It is an old-fashioned and traditional way of thinking but some people like it.

    The issue now is that some women, in the name of equality and feminism, are picking and choosing the best bits for themselves. They want the man to do all the “man” things like approaching them, impressing them, providing and what not; but then want to reap the benefits.

    They want to be treated like Queens but don't want to serve their Kings.

    Some women don't know how difficult some “man” things are to do. They think it is just easy to walk up to a woman, knowing that she can crush you in a moment’s notice, and try to impress her.
    I get your point but men do the same as in they want their woman to posses the stereotypical “woman” qualities like not having any body hair, smelling like perfume and roses all the time, being submissive, being successful but not more successful than him so as not to damage his manly ego and be made fun of by his friends, being experienced in the bedroom but God forbid she’s slept with more than 5 men even if he’s slept with over 20 women, be blamed if he cheats because she doesn’t dress sexy enough and he can’t control his raging manly hormones...
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    Feminism is stupid
 
 
 

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