Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating?
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There are indeed still sexist double standards in the dating world. The man is expected to be the proactive one and keep his lady happy, and it's always somehow our fault if things aren't fantastic in the bedroom. Everything is always our fault... And we can't have too many expectations or demand anything of our partners, oh no, because that's sexist, but it's okay for women to demand we do certain things, make sacrifices, and so on.
But we put up with it for the sex...
But we put up with it for the sex...
Original post by JoeyA2000
I'm sorry but women are 100x more easily influenced by there friends than men are, men don't care what they're mates think as long as they're getting action (which I don't agree with) but women are encouraged to break up with their boyfriends by other women all the time i see it happen all the time. If you aren't friends with the women friends then you won't last very long.
Lol never have I seen this happen. Women tend not to care about what their friends think, hence why they put up with their trash bfs for so long. Guys tend to seek validation from their friends, and are easily encouraged which is why girls are sceptical when their bfs have single friends.
True story.
It sounds like a lot of you have had bad and controlling relationships with women, and are assuming that that’s just how women are.
Most women aren’t like that, if you’re in a relationship with someone who constantly puts you down, makes you pay for everything, makes you feel like everything is your fault, get out of it asap. That’s not a normal relationship and not how a healthy relationship is.
Hopefully in the future you’ll have better experiences, and not fuel this fire of resentment towards women which can only result in more hurt.
Most women aren’t like that, if you’re in a relationship with someone who constantly puts you down, makes you pay for everything, makes you feel like everything is your fault, get out of it asap. That’s not a normal relationship and not how a healthy relationship is.
Hopefully in the future you’ll have better experiences, and not fuel this fire of resentment towards women which can only result in more hurt.
To start with, the ‘workplace’ you speak of isn’t exactly right. Most people (feminists) know that the wage gap isn’t exactly accurate, it’s a case of there just happening to be more men in the highest paying jobs. As long as the equally qualified men and women have equal opportunity to reach those jobs, that’s fine because it’s fair. When women ask for respect in the workplace they mean not being harassed or being treated as less intelligent or not equally. Maternity leave is part of life. Women give birth. My personal opinion is there should be a designated amount of time for parental leave (eg. A sum of 14 months) and it can be split between the mother and father so that if the mom wants to go back to work and the dad wants to be a stay-at-home dad, that’s a viable option.
Regarding dating, it depends on the individual. Not everyone wants a man to choose all of the dates and while I won’t complain if someone pays I don’t expect it to be done for me all the time. My boyfriend used to pay for some things we did but it was because he had a job and made a lot more than me so he didn’t mind.
Proposals aren’t really an issue with women, it’s just tradition in society. Talk about it with your partner.
Treating with gifts should go both ways - that’s a loving relationship.
Holding doors is common courtesy and should also go both ways.
Giving up coats is once again a society issue but to be fair, the reason it happens is because women at parties or formal events end up wearing a dress and little else while a man would have both a suit and a jacket. Personally I think it’s nice if someone gives you a jacket but it isn’t pressured upon anyone so it’s not exactly a thing guys are forced into.
Sex goes both ways. I’m starting to think you’re picking awful partners.
I have never wanted an emotionless partner. Sharing emotions is healthy! These girls must be soulless and/or extraordinarily demanding.
Household chores should be shared. That’s life. If someone has more hours at work it can be split evenly. But men aren’t actually the breadwinner in most households and stay-at-home dads are becoming more common. In this case you need to pick a partner who agrees, but you should not expect someone who will do everything for you.
Relationships are equal. You have to give and take. And a lot of things (like proposing) are more based in tradition and people’s personal view on relationships than gender.
Regarding dating, it depends on the individual. Not everyone wants a man to choose all of the dates and while I won’t complain if someone pays I don’t expect it to be done for me all the time. My boyfriend used to pay for some things we did but it was because he had a job and made a lot more than me so he didn’t mind.
Proposals aren’t really an issue with women, it’s just tradition in society. Talk about it with your partner.
Treating with gifts should go both ways - that’s a loving relationship.
Holding doors is common courtesy and should also go both ways.
Giving up coats is once again a society issue but to be fair, the reason it happens is because women at parties or formal events end up wearing a dress and little else while a man would have both a suit and a jacket. Personally I think it’s nice if someone gives you a jacket but it isn’t pressured upon anyone so it’s not exactly a thing guys are forced into.
Sex goes both ways. I’m starting to think you’re picking awful partners.
I have never wanted an emotionless partner. Sharing emotions is healthy! These girls must be soulless and/or extraordinarily demanding.
Household chores should be shared. That’s life. If someone has more hours at work it can be split evenly. But men aren’t actually the breadwinner in most households and stay-at-home dads are becoming more common. In this case you need to pick a partner who agrees, but you should not expect someone who will do everything for you.
Relationships are equal. You have to give and take. And a lot of things (like proposing) are more based in tradition and people’s personal view on relationships than gender.
Wanting to be equal to men and be treated fairly boils down to one thing. Respect. Both men and women should be treated equally no matter gender, race, sexuality etc. If a woman can do a job just as well as a man why shouldn't they be paid the same.
Also, the point about sexual assault. Nobody wants to experience sexual harassment in any situation, let alone the place you have to go to work everyday (applies to men as well as women). The people who give false accusations only make it more difficult for men and women to come forward about their own experiences, feminism doesn't condone this.
Furthermore, why shouldn't a woman still have equal opportunities and still have maternity leave? Literally giving birth to another human being is pretty exhausting, plus there's still the opportunity for the father to take paternity leave while the mother works.
Finally, however nice you might be, doesn't necessarily mean a girl is attracted to you. There are other things like humour that go into attraction and relationships. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean your entitled to go out with someone.
(sorry for the rant)
Also, the point about sexual assault. Nobody wants to experience sexual harassment in any situation, let alone the place you have to go to work everyday (applies to men as well as women). The people who give false accusations only make it more difficult for men and women to come forward about their own experiences, feminism doesn't condone this.
Furthermore, why shouldn't a woman still have equal opportunities and still have maternity leave? Literally giving birth to another human being is pretty exhausting, plus there's still the opportunity for the father to take paternity leave while the mother works.
Finally, however nice you might be, doesn't necessarily mean a girl is attracted to you. There are other things like humour that go into attraction and relationships. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean your entitled to go out with someone.
(sorry for the rant)
Original post by Dandaman1
There are indeed still sexist double standards in the dating world. The man is expected to be the proactive one and keep his lady happy, and it's always somehow our fault if things aren't fantastic in the bedroom. Everything is always our fault... And we can't have too many expectations or demand anything of our partners, oh no, because that's sexist, but it's okay for women to demand we do certain things, make sacrifices, and so on.
But we put up with it for the sex...
But we put up with it for the sex...
If you are with someone just for sex, its hardly surprising its a crappy relationship, if you want someone to blame, look in the mirror.
Original post by snowman77
The point is that if true equality exists, women would do their fair share of asking men out who they like. They would always split the bill on dates, they would propose if they wanted to marry him etc. They would be happy to share this burden, rather than expecting the man to always do these things.
The point is that if true equality exists, women would do their fair share of asking men out who they like. They would always split the bill on dates, they would propose if they wanted to marry him etc. They would be happy to share this burden, rather than expecting the man to always do these things.
Women actually do this. I've asked men out. I do have a friend whose wife did ask him to marry her too.
females have life harder, with lower pay, periods which you wouldn't be able to comprehend how horrible, childbirth and pregnancy... etc. so whats a few extra ££, and to initiate a relationship?? ur being a little brat, accept that you're biologically advantaged and don't have to go through half of what females have to.
saying that, i don't actually expect what you outlined in your second paragraph. im all for paying for my own stuff and initiating relationships, but if some are like that, its understandable.
also, with the sex thing, in most cases, females don't even orgasm, yet guys do most the time. again, you're biologically advantaged in that sense. get a grip u lil bich boi.
saying that, i don't actually expect what you outlined in your second paragraph. im all for paying for my own stuff and initiating relationships, but if some are like that, its understandable.
also, with the sex thing, in most cases, females don't even orgasm, yet guys do most the time. again, you're biologically advantaged in that sense. get a grip u lil bich boi.
as a girl, I also wonder this about other girls, its so annoying
I think that you shouldn't complain about this issue. Probably seduction is the most funny and entertaining part of dealing with girls, you just have to discover your way to do it.
Greetings from Italy dude!
Greetings from Italy dude!
Original post by snowman77
Yes women have preferences. They would prefer an attractive man over an unattractive one. I don't get your point? The original post wasn't about that.
The point is that if true equality exists, women would do their fair share of asking men out who they like. They would always split the bill on dates, they would propose if they wanted to marry him etc. They would be happy to share this burden, rather than expecting the man to always do these things.
It's either equality in everything, or we go back to gender roles. You can't pick and choose a bit of both - that results in preferential treatment of women over men, which is fundamentally wrong.
The point is that if true equality exists, women would do their fair share of asking men out who they like. They would always split the bill on dates, they would propose if they wanted to marry him etc. They would be happy to share this burden, rather than expecting the man to always do these things.
It's either equality in everything, or we go back to gender roles. You can't pick and choose a bit of both - that results in preferential treatment of women over men, which is fundamentally wrong.
I'm a feminist and I would prefer to split the bill on dates, for a man to be open about his emotions and I do approach guys first when I feel like it. You've made far too many generalizations about what you think feminists believe or want. And the fact is many men LIKE doing all those things you've listed. Just because you don't it doesn't mean everyone is the same.
I completely agree. A lot of women are very hypocritical. They only want equality when it suits them. They claim they want a balanced relationship but almost always expect the guy to make the move, plan and pay for dates, hail a taxi, pay for their drinks, carry her to bed, buy her stuff on valentines day, take charge and dominate. Oh and the guy must be at least 5'11 but don't you dare judge me on my appearance. If a guy doesn't do these things, he's considered a p*ssy or not a true gentleman and he isn't getting a second date. Women say they're happy to pay the bill on the first date and will half heartedly offer to split it, but if the guy agrees then he automatically goes down in their books.
Basically women still want the guy to take control in the relationship because it fits in with traditional gender stereotypes and everything in the films that we've grown up worshipping.
Basically women still want the guy to take control in the relationship because it fits in with traditional gender stereotypes and everything in the films that we've grown up worshipping.
I haven't read a lot of the thread except the OP, so excuse me if what I'm saying is out of touch with everyone else now.
It looks as though these societal standards are all completely in your head. Not sure who you've been dating but I don't fully agree with what you've come up with. It's almost as if you expect to do these things yourself!
I am male, I largely do these things on dates etc. but I don't see it as expected, it just makes me happy to be able to treat someone well, so I actually agree with the post above.
You are looking at dating from the wrong angle. You do it to find your fit, not to act out a play. Do what feels right to you as long as it isn't rude or immoral. Just because I like doing these things doesn't mean you have to. I have been given petrol money for dates, offered to split the bill, and wore their coat whilst they were in a dress!
In short, you either have little experience or aren't dating people who are right for you.
It looks as though these societal standards are all completely in your head. Not sure who you've been dating but I don't fully agree with what you've come up with. It's almost as if you expect to do these things yourself!
I am male, I largely do these things on dates etc. but I don't see it as expected, it just makes me happy to be able to treat someone well, so I actually agree with the post above.
You are looking at dating from the wrong angle. You do it to find your fit, not to act out a play. Do what feels right to you as long as it isn't rude or immoral. Just because I like doing these things doesn't mean you have to. I have been given petrol money for dates, offered to split the bill, and wore their coat whilst they were in a dress!
In short, you either have little experience or aren't dating people who are right for you.
Original post by Maker
If you are with someone just for sex, its hardly surprising its a crappy relationship, if you want someone to blame, look in the mirror.
Take an obvious tongue-in-cheek comment seriously for a contemptuous remark why don't you, pickledick.
Original post by Dandaman1
Take an obvious tongue-in-cheek comment seriously for a contemptuous remark why don't you, pickledick.
Write like a knob, get treated like one. Did you break the mirror?
Original post by ANM775
I am going to record Suffragette Later on Channel 4
Is it any good?
Will it make me want to become a feminist.
Is it any good?
Will it make me want to become a feminist.
Only if you believe that the battles that those brave women had to fight are anything like the battles left today.
Only if you don't do your own research from multi viewpoint sources.
There are plenty of stories that won't be told.
It is shocking to realise how few people know there is only 10 years between all men getting the vote and all women.
My great grandfather was the first man in our family to be given the vote and he cast it on the same day that my great grandmother cast her vote in 1918.
The same suffragettes were keen participants in the white feather campaign that was used to shame men and who also never had the vote into going to fight.
That the majority of men that fought and died in the hell that were the battlefields of WWI didn't have the vote either.
In the famous photograph of Pankhurst being arrested outside Buckingham Palace by a police sergeant there are two people that didn't have the vote in that photograph, both her and the policeman.
So here is an idea....
How about to balance suffragette you take a look at "The Red Pill" documentary by the award-winning feminist director Cassie Jaye?
Current Third Wave intersectional Marxist feminism is a long way from suffragette.
Do your own research and think outside the bubble.
Sounds like you're treating a group that literally contains half the human race as though it's monolithic and everyone wants the same things. It's technically possible to make a larger and less useful generalisation, but it would be difficult.
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