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Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating? watch

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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    It is not good to have double standards, it is called hypocrisy. You basically have a set of rules for yourself and another set for others. Standards like this are why society is failing to progress
    People are allowed to want what they want in relationships and people need to accept that is part of life. The quicker we accept it the better.
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    (Original post by EpicBrum)
    I don't agree with that.

    If I ask my mates if they fancy coming on a night out I wouldn't be expected to pay for them. Why would it be different if it's a date?

    How about we just don't call it a date, is it ok then?
    Its not different if it’s a date. If you tell your friend or someone you like ‘I want to take you out to dinner’ then you should pay.
    ‘Fancy coming on a night out’ isnt really the same. This sounds more like you’re not really bothered if they say no
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    (Original post by snowman77)
    This is what I don't understand about the modern day gender equality/feminism movement. They want equality in some areas, but other areas they are happy for things to stay the same as long as they receive the benefit.

    Women want equal treatment in the workplace with their male colleagues. They want equal pay (FWIW the gender pay gap is a myth - same job for same hours get paid the same, otherwise it's illegal), they don't want to experience sexual harassment in the workplace (what about all the false accusations which ruin men's careers?), they want the same opportunities men have, they want equal opportunities for promotion (despite many of them taking time off for maternity leave).

    This is all fair enough. Except they don't want equality in dating. Men are still expected to:

    - ask the woman out and face possible rejection (women might give subtle hints, but under no circumstances will they ask the man out - that is "his job"
    - pay for the first date (and possible subsequent dates as well)
    - propose to the woman
    - treat her with meals/gifts
    - hold open the door for her
    - give up his coat if she's cold, so he can freeze (but never the other way around)
    - put the majority of effort into sex (this is centered around pleasing the woman - the man's enjoyment is always assumed)
    - be manly and dominant, never show any weak emotions, keep his problems bottled up because otherwise it's "unmanly"
    - household chores must now be shared. Women no longer have to do all the cooking and cleaning, it's shared equally between men, because otherwise it's gender discrimination/oppression. Despite the fact men are still seen as the primary breadwinner in the household and a man without a job is a virtual disaster.


    So back to the original question: Why do women want gender equality in the workplace (and indeed many other areas), but not in dating? I'm interested to hear to views of men, women and any feminists.
    what the **** kind of women are you meeting, they're just trashy women, although I do slightly agree with the last point it is definitely changing
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    LOL yes, that's you. There with this thread a while back where guys were saying they weren't date "x" women or women that had so and so. It's fine for guys to pick and choose though, right?

    Okay so you won't date a women that sleeps around because it shows she is "weak" and many guys think like that but women are not allowed to question it. But say you want a guy that asks you out first because it shows he is confident and really wants you it's now double standards.

    I see it as a preference. I haven't said it's wrong for a guy and wait for a women to make he first move but it's just my preference for a guy to ask me out first. I am perfectly allowed to say that and it's not rejecting feminism.
    No, you’ve missed the point. I would not date women like that AND I will not behave in such a way as to sleep with many women. That is the equal standard.

    Double standard is when i say that it is wrong for women to sleep around with many men, whilst I am doing the same thing.

    The issue that many people on this thread and I have with your argument is that you would not ask a guy out first, but then you expect guys to be the first to ask you out. That is hypocrisy and double standard.

    Another example is saying that you would not date black men, but then expect other people to date black women like you. It is not preference it is double standard.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Friends and a potential partner are different though.

    I don't expect a man to pay for me personally. But don't think it's the same thing.
    Why is it different?
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    People are allowed to want what they want in relationships and people need to accept that is part of life. The quicker we accept it the better.
    Yes, I agree, but they should be hypocrites.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    No, you’ve missed the point. I would not women like that AND I will not behave in such a way as to sleep with many women. That is the equal standard.

    Double standard is when i say that it is wrong for women to sleep around with many men, whilst I am doing the same thing.

    The issue that many people on this thread and I have with your argument is that you would not ask a guy out first, but then you expect guys to be the first to ask you out. That is hypocrisy and double standard.

    Another example is saying that you would not date black men, but then expect other people to date black women like you. It is not preference it is double standard.
    There are many men that sleep around and yet will not date any women that goes past 5. You yourself may not sleep around but you still have a reason to not date a women which is because you think she is weak or whatever.
    Yes I won't ask a guy out...ever, but I expect a guy to. It's my opinion and peference lol I really don't want to repeat myself over and over again.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Yes, I agree, but they should be hypocrites.
    Whatever lol. Everyone is a hypocrite to some extent. There are people that won't date someone the same skin tone, hair length, hair colour, height as them, then they are also hypocrites by your definition
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    There are many men that sleep around and yet will not date any women that goes past 5. You yourself may not sleep around but you still have a reason to not date a women which is because you think she is weak or whatever.
    Yes I won't ask a guy out...ever, but I expect a guy to. It's my opinion and peference lol I really don't want to repeat myself over and over again.
    That is fair. I am glad you accept that you are a hypocrite.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Its not different if it’s a date. If you tell your friend or someone you like ‘I want to take you out to dinner’ then you should pay.
    ‘Fancy coming on a night out’ isnt really the same. This sounds more like you’re not really bothered if they say no
    Absolutely. Now this I can agree with.

    It's all about wording. But it's not the date aspect.

    Anyone you take out you should pay for. It could be my date, my friend, my mum or anyone.

    If I say to my mate I'm taking you to the football then I should pay for him. If I say "Do you fancy coming to the football" then he should pay his own way as it's not my treat.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    That is fair. I am glad you accept that you are a hypocrite.
    Mate, everyone is actually a hypocrite by your definition lol
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    (Original post by EpicBrum)
    Absolutely. Now this I can agree with.

    It's all about wording. But it's not the date aspect.

    Anyone you take out you should pay for. It could be my date, my friend, my mum or anyone.

    If I say to my mate I'm taking you to the football then I should pay for him. If I say "Do you fancy coming to the football" then he should pay his own way as it's not my treat.
    Agreed
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    Mate, everyone is actually a hypocrite by your definition lol
    Yes, many people are hypocrites. There are honest people out there though.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Yes, many people are hypocrites. There are honest people out there though.
    lol, everyone is a hypocrite to some extent then, cool.
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    Every last one of us is a hypocrite. It's natural.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    lol, everyone is a hypocrite to some extent then, cool.
    It is not cool. We cannot live as hypocrites and say it is cool.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    It is not cool. We cannot live as hypocrites and say it is cool.
    Are you not a hypocrite in anyway?
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    (Original post by EpicBrum)
    Are you not a hypocrite in anyway?
    I try not to be. It is one thing to fall short and try to improve, it is another to accept the hypocrisy and life a life filled with double standards.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    I try not to be. It is one thing to fall short and try to improve, it is another to accept the hypocrisy and life a life filled with double standards.
    I feel like you are confusing hypocrisy with preference.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    I feel like you are confusing hypocrisy with preference.
    No, i am not. I think you are.

    Hypocrisy is having double standard, having a set of rules for yourself and then a different set for others. E.g. saying that people should donate to charity but then not donating to charity yourself.

    Preference is wanting a particular thing for yourself, but not expecting another thing for others.
 
 
 
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