What a judgemental bunch of "men" you are. We don't all expect our dates to pay.
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Tiger Rag
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- 11-02-2018 11:23
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snowman77
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- 11-02-2018 11:30
(Original post by Wired_1800)
This seems a bit wild, but it may be true that women are more strategic when it comes to finding a partner. I don't think having a man on the reserve is a good thing because this create an endless cycle for both people.
In addition, i think there is massive double standard when it comes to women and dating, but at the moment they control the rules, so we just accept and try to manage the situation.
For example, a woman can quite comfortably go on a date with a dude and expect him to pay for every thing, if the tables are turned, she would label the guy cheap.
Male sex drive is higher than female sex drive. There have been numerous studies to prove this - women think about sex less, have fewer sexual fantasies, they masturbate far less, they visit prostitutes/escorts far less, they want casual sex far less.
In popular culture and media, men are consistently portrayed as the ones who chase the woman. Young girls grow up with this and most of them are too stupid not to be brainwashed by it. -
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- 11-02-2018 12:06
I'm sorry to read that so many of you have been on dates with controllig women with such expectations and clearly there is some emotional abuse going on if these are the relatiobships you are in. My personal experiences and those around me have been completely different.
We have talked this with my friends and we always offer to pay for our share. And quite often the guy expects us to pay our own drinks. In some cases the guy pays fro movie tickets and the woman for the popcorn. I've been on a date where the guy insisted on paying even with me offering. Yes, I will accept it since it's rude to keep the argument going.
As for the proposal. I'm a maid of honour in my friends wedding so I've been on wedding sites that talk about proposals. In this day and age most of the time the proposal is a mutual discussion and then going out to buy a ring together. I noticed a trend in couples that the man insists on suprise proposal because they feel like it is their contribution towards the wedding (sometimes they want to plan for years to keep the suprise). My problem with this is that then the guy has the power to decide on our mutual future and with that logic then men wouldn't have to participate to wedding planning. Don't know how common it is but from the wedding forum it didn't seem too rare.
Treat with meals and gifts? In every relationship I've ever withnesses I've noticed that it's "I'll pay this one, you pay next". And for the coat...does that happen outside the movies? That being said. Yes, females offers their hat and gloves to their frozen partners.
Sex centered around man pleasing a woman? Ehm...what? Yes it is talked about now more since it is still not the norm. Thankfully it's becoming more equal and sex is about pleasing each other.
Who wants a man to be dominant and not show emotions? I've never heared such a thing. On the contrary I hear about how women wish guys wold show more emotions. As for dominance. Studies show that women make most of the decisions in marriage.
To play devils advocate for the household chores I'm going to doa generalization. Women are expected to contribute equally financially and do majority of housework, how is that fair? Men are no longer the breadwinners of families and therefore the tasks should be shared. (Again generalization) I've noticed that quite often when men do somehting arounf the house they are "helping" instead of doing their share and when men spend time with their children they are "babysitting" instead of parenting.
That being said. Yes there are women like in OP describes and there are men who expect things to go like OP descibed. Relationships are about shared power, respect and mutual decision how things are done. Thankfuly in dating you don't have to meet the person again if you don't share the values.
I also feel like the word feminism is so misunderstood and used wrongly. -
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- 11-02-2018 12:15
If you want to get a clear view on the mind of feminists/women in general, avoid dating apps: Tinder, okcupid, even Bumble are full of accounts that are just pictures and no detailsin the about me section (or just instagram/snapchat details). These women aren't interested in dating, but want the "rush" of having people interested in them. Ideally these apps would remove inactive profiles from the search matrix and notify you if someone "swiped left" with a reason why, say a women wasn't interested because you're under 6 foot (shallow, but that's the dating world) at least you'd know where to improve yourself (or in this case, move on to someone that isn't shallow)
[Generalisation warning] Most women are interested in preferential equality not true equality. Case in point: Car insurance in the UK, a few years ago it was deemed illegal for insurance companies to charge men more than women, so the insurance companies chose to raise the price for women to meet the price that men were charged. This was met with outcry from women, but this was the natural outcome from a companies perspective. -
Wired_1800
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- 11-02-2018 13:27
(Original post by snowman77)
They control the rules for 2 reasons - lower sex drive and popular culture.
Male sex drive is higher than female sex drive. There have been numerous studies to prove this - women think about sex less, have fewer sexual fantasies, they masturbate far less, they visit prostitutes/escorts far less, they want casual sex far less.
In popular culture and media, men are consistently portrayed as the ones who chase the woman. Young girls grow up with this and most of them are too stupid not to be brainwashed by it. -
username3765926
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- 11-02-2018 14:25
(Original post by snowman77)
She can also pay, can't she? Why does the man have to pay?
By your logic, if she's not paying then she doesn't care about the relationship.
It was fine 50-100 years ago, because even though the man paid, the woman made up for it in other ways. Gender roles were clearly defined. These days, women are so lazy (especially young women) that they still expect the man to do all the manly duties like ask her out and pay for a date, but at the same time shirk any of the typical female responsibilities.
I hear in cultures like Latino and Asian, gender roles are still widely prevalent. The man is expected to be a man, and the woman is expected to be a woman. There is no confusion. The issue has come in Western society, where women are acting more and more like men, not wanting the negative responsibilities associated with being a woman, but still complaining that there "aren't any real men" anymore. It's pathetic. -
snowman77
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- 11-02-2018 14:32
(Original post by Unkilled)
Sure. -
username3765926
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- 11-02-2018 14:37
(Original post by snowman77)
So you agree with me? -
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- 11-02-2018 14:40
(Original post by Unkilled)
Yeah. -
Farm_Ecology
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- 11-02-2018 15:03
(Original post by Tiger Rag)
What a judgemental bunch of "men" you are. We don't all expect our dates to pay.
People are getting wires crossed and not realising that the women who expect to have their dates paid for, and the ones who campaign for gender equality at the workplace are for the most part, two separate groups of women. -
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- 11-02-2018 16:10
(Original post by snowman77)
It is still a gender thing. Ever heard of the phrase "ladies first" in relation to letting people through doors?
You might open doors, but most women do not. And the ones who do are often 60+ years old. I've never had a woman below the age of ~35 hold a door open for me (not that I can remember anyway). But they still expect it from men.
I actually get a lot of men open doors for me (in my own personal experience, men are more polite to me than women).Last edited by RitzKidz; 11-02-2018 at 16:17. -
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- 11-02-2018 16:15
(Original post by Nerry)
i told you - women don't want 'equality', they want superiorityPosted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
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- 11-02-2018 16:22
(Original post by RitzKidz)
I wish men would want to go through a door that I open for them. Literally every time I try 'nono you go first' and I'm just like okay thanks great nothing will change. We do NOT expect you to hold the door at all. Most men simply think it is their moral duty for some reason. Most women would prefer if everyone just opened the door themselves and not made such a hassle about it, and then preferably not used it in their 'oppressed men movement'. Because quite frankly, there are far more worse things that men are oppressed about than having to open the door.Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
snowman77
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- 11-02-2018 16:30
(Original post by Pen.Meg)
Women do want equality in all aspects of life style, be that the workplace or dating. Most women want this and all all feminists want this ( men are feminists too ) it is sickening to read your comment that is utterly incorrect and is flat out ignorant.
Women don't want equality in dating because that would mean having to do things they don't want to do. However, they do want equality in areas where they feel inferior to men. Just not in areas where they feel superior (i.e. dating). -
loveleest
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- 11-02-2018 18:21
"Men" in UK society just aren't men anymore.
Look at you and these "men" complaining about asking women out and taking women on dates. And you want women to do all of this and yet you want to be the "man" in the relationship. umm, okay.
Women go through tough period pains, 9 months of pregnancy and intense labor but just a simple rejection it's enough to want to hurt yourself???
lmao...Talk about the "stronger sex" ..bs. -
loveleest
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- 11-02-2018 18:22
Why can't you ask first?. Aren't you a "man?"
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Tiger Rag
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- 11-02-2018 18:24
(Original post by snowman77)
So why do women still expect the man to ask her out? As well as all the other things I listed in the first post.
Women don't want equality in dating because that would mean having to do things they don't want to do. However, they do want equality in areas where they feel inferior to men. Just not in areas where they feel superior (i.e. dating). -
Wired_1800
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- 11-02-2018 22:19
(Original post by loveleest)
"Men" in UK society just aren't men anymore.
Look at you and these "men" complaining about asking women out and taking women on dates. And you want women to do all of this and yet you want to be the "man" in the relationship. umm, okay.
Women go through tough period pains, 9 months of pregnancy and intense labor but just a simple rejection it's enough to want to hurt yourself???
lmao...Talk about the "stronger sex" ..bs.(Original post by loveleest)
Why can't you ask first?. Aren't you a "man?"
Some women have been fierce about equality to the point of “we don't need men”. Yet some women, like you, want men to do these things without them making much effort. -
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- 11-02-2018 22:42
(Original post by Wired_1800)
Correct me if i am wrong, but I thought we were pushing for equality of both genders. I thought you were a feminist.
I was going to jump on her for that and had to resist the urge -
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- 11-02-2018 23:46
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