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Do people stay friends with their primary and secondary school friends? For how long? watch

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    I don't really have primary and secondary school friends I am in year 11 and literally have no meaningful relationships that I could realistically take with me past this point in my life, just wondering if this is how most people made friends and if they still talk to these people or if there is hope for me yet. Thanks
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    My closest friendship group is made up of 4 of my best friends who I met in first school, but I’d say that the majority of people make friends older
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    I don't either! I'm not good with long term friendships. Don't worry about it
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    (Original post by futuremedic34)
    I don't either! I'm not good with long term friendships. Don't worry about it
    How do you still have friends like how do you go about it? because I have just slowly lost all my friendships and not replaced any
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    I am in year 13, I no longer have contact with primary school friends. I guess we all went are separated ways and we were all quite different.
    After year 11 some of my friends left for college and others stayed at the sixth form, of those who left I soon lost contact. I stayed in contact with one of them for a year afterwards, but by the end of year 12 we lost contact.

    Now I am hopefully going to uni in September and do not plan to keep in contact with any of my current friends. I mean we will probably stay in contact for the first few months, but this time next year I highly doubt it.

    Friends come and go.
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    (Original post by OwlOfFire)
    I am in year 13, I no longer have contact with primary school friends. I guess we all went are separated ways and we were all quite different.
    After year 11 some of my friends left for college and others stayed at the sixth form, of those who left I soon lost contact. I stayed in contact with one of them for a year afterwards, but by the end of year 12 we lost contact.

    Now I am hopefully going to uni in September and do not plan to keep in contact with any of my current friends. I mean we will probably stay in contact for the first few months, but this time next year I highly doubt it.

    Friends come and go.
    How do you stay OK with that because personally it stresses me out to think that I will never have friends, you are probably good at socialising I am awful
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    (Original post by so5tired758)
    How do you stay OK with that because personally it stresses me out to think that I will never have friends, you are probably good at socialising I am awful
    Oh no I am awful at socialising. I am like the socially awkward one of the group. The problem is that I am very shy, so don't express myself as well as others. I just think of friendship as not something that is permanent but temporary. I guess I am a bit of an introvert, but while I am in education I see it as important to have friends or as I like to put it "people who I am friendly with." In school you got to have friends to get by, so when you do pair work or group work you have someone to go with and somebody to pick up notes for you when you are not in class. My group is large-ish but we are not close. It doesn't stress me out as hopefully I will make friends at uni.
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    Didn't keep in contact with any of my primary school friends. We grew apart in year 7/8.

    I have 3 really good friends who I stay in contact with who I met in year 7. Three of us went to a different sixth form but we keep in contact with the one who stayed. He's the only one I've kept in contact with from high school that didn't come to the new sixth form.

    So yeah friends come and go, it's nothing to worry about!
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    I'm in year 13 and my two closest friends are those I made in year 7 and way back in year 1
    I lost touch with my Primary School friends in high school after most of us went to different schools, but oddly enough we all chose the same college so that brought us closer again
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    All my best friend are my school friend. I feel better when i meet there, they all are awesome. I never forget them.
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    Im getting onto my late 20s now, and I would say around 60% of the friends I still see were from secondary school/sixthform, 5% from university, 5% from primary school, and 30% are friends from work/life since university.

    The numbers should naturally decrease over time. There are really only 1-2 people from primary school that I still see/spend any amount of time with.. that number was higher back when I was 18 or so, but over time people naturally fall out of your life. Same with secondary school, when I was in univesrity, I still kept in contact with a lot, but now its not so many.. and it will be less and less now we are all starting to have kids. University I kept a few very good mates from, but other then them most people dropped away.. and now I have work friends/people I know as working adults who have replaced a lot of the people.

    My closest friend and the best man at my wedding I met on a year 9 school trip.

    Some people are very good at keeping contact, but for most of us to drift away is a very good and natural thing. it filters your life down to those who mean a lot to you as you get older and older.
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    I'm 25 and almost all of my friendships from those years have dissolved. We talk over Facebook occasionally, but that's about it. When we do meet every couple of years it's awkward and old rivalries resurface and it always ends in arguments and tears. It's disastrous.

    I've two friends I still see often: one I've known since 1995 and the other since 2006. The former is absolutely my best friend and I don't see our friendship ever fading. We weren't super close in our younger years, but in secondary school we become close. We travel together, we shared a flat for a year, and both her family and her partner's family treat me like their own. I only see her every few months though, e.g. I saw her when we went to a gig in Birmingham in September; I crashed in her spare room in October after we went clubbing with her colleagues in Glasgow; I took her out for sushi for her birthday in December; I'm seeing her in a few days to go to the cinema; then next time I expect to see her is when we fly to Berlin together in April. We've very different lives but we make an effort to stay close. Even so, sometimes weeks can go by when we don't even text and it's okay.

    The other friend, a guy I met in the queue for a history prelim, is someone I've maintained a friendship with although we're not insanely close. We still live near each other so we hang out every few months. Usually he comes over and we just have a few beers and play Mario Kart.

    Outside of them, the people I consider as my "good friends" are those I met as an adult.
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    As you get older you change. I’m not close friends with anyone from secondary school, I became my own person and got rid of toxic people from my life. My friends now are from University, who I have a lot more in common with and who I see as being life-long friends.

    Don’t worry, you’ll make meaningful relationships at some point whether you go to work or uni or similar. That’s when you’ll meet the majority of people with similar interests to you.
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    (Original post by so5tired758)
    I don't really have primary and secondary school friends I am in year 11 and literally have no meaningful relationships that I could realistically take with me past this point in my life, just wondering if this is how most people made friends and if they still talk to these people or if there is hope for me yet. Thanks
    don't worry! you can make meaningful friendships at all points in your life. it isn't about how long you've known someone. i have 1 close friendship that i have had since primary school but, to be honest, i'm closer to friends that i have made later on. my best friend is someone i made friends with in year 11, but got closer to afterwards. my other best friend is someone i met in my gap year :-)
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    I have started sixth form this year and have come to realise that actually making new friends is better.

    Whilst still remaining in contact with a few friends from secondary school, I adore my new friends.

    I don't know whether it's true or not but I do believe and feel that they genuinely care about me more.

    Coming from a year group of 200 in year 11 to a year group close to a 1000 is daunting but I see everyone from my secondary school making new friends. I miss some people but I love the new people I have met.

    The great thing is that there is such a big diversity at sixth form amongst people so I can find people that are more similar to me.

    At primary school and secondary school everyone is chucked together despite differences. Whereas, further education contains more narrowed subjects and allows students to meet people they genuinely like.
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    (Original post by so5tired758)
    I don't really have primary and secondary school friends I am in year 11 and literally have no meaningful relationships that I could realistically take with me past this point in my life, just wondering if this is how most people made friends and if they still talk to these people or if there is hope for me yet. Thanks
    So generally what happens is that everyone drifts away, unless you were really close friends. It's just life - everyone goes off in different directions and makes new friends, with no desire to keep in touch with old ones unless it was a really great friendship. Me personally I can count the number of friends I keep in touch with from primary/secondary school on one hand.
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    no, i had a huge group of friends towards the end of year 10 and 11 and we all promised never to break up but we all did in the end, thats life sadly. if you all go your separate ways and have different plans and rarely make time to meet each other then it will happen and it does happen to many people. its no big deal though, when one door closes another opens. at your age the thought of remaining friend-less or losing your friends after school finishes is a scary thought but it really isn't that bad when it does happen. you learn to accept it, you learn to move on. you grow up. you make new friends. as horrible as it sounds i honestly can't even remember most of my friends from school, i mean i remember their names but thats about it. but then i'm 27 so its been a while since i've seen then

    you'll be fine, you can always make friends in college and uni and at work etc
 
 
 
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