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    This is so strange I KNOW and I don't think anyone is going to relate to this but I have no idea what to do.

    I can't do revision without ripping pages out and starting again? I don't know how to explain this but every single time I have tried to revise for something, as soon as I write a single word that isn't perfect I rip it out. It feels like a reflex a bit? If I could insert pictures I would but 2 minutes ago I wrote down 'Biology' at the top of my page and it looked a bit big and uneven so I ripped it out. Then I tried again and this time I wrote it well and I wrote down my sub title but then I put an 's' at the end of a word for no reason and I tried to cross it out and it triggered me so much that I either couldn't continue or I had to rip it out. I've has this problem for a while and have given up on re-writing notes on a lot of subjects. Another example is for a physics test I tried to revise for which was the first test I had wrote something down on a page for successfully (other times I had done flash cards for other tests and the same thing would happen but it wasn't that bad as I didn't have to write down as much obviously) and I managed to write roughly 3 pages and I must've ripped out over 7. Tip-ex does help me with this but sometimes I still feel the need to do it. I also feel the need to measure a lot of the things I write, like diagrams on lined paper, If I need to draw a small graph I have to measure with a protractor or draw 2 dots x amount of cm from the margin and join them up. I can't really talk about it with my friends and I'm not very good at explaining it so they just end up sitting in silence or telling me it's normal and my dad also doesn't understand it and instead just tells me off for wasting so much paper. Another thing is that this doesn't happen in class probably because I'm not allowed to do it but in class I do have problems writing good notes because I feel unmotivated because it isn't perfect.

    I don't really want other ways to revise because I feel like I shouldn't have to make things harder for myself instead of just fixing it, I know I could type up my notes but it doesn't help me memorise them and I've tried writing them without ripping the pages out but I never finish them because I feel like they aren't perfect.

    One method that worked was to use small flash card sort of things to write my notes on so that if I made a stupid mistake I wouldn't have such a bad setback but I would rather not have to start again in the first place!

    I wouldn't care about this that much if I didn't have major tests in my future that I would need to revise for because I know that when your revising for multiple subjects a day you don't have time to rip pages out and start again. I have done my year 6 SATs but I didn't revise at all except for reading the revision guides

    At one point I did think I had O.C.D and I did have a few symptoms like intrusive thoughts and keeping things arranged in size and colour or order but nothing that most people don't do.

    Should I just write flash cards forever and continue with the same thing?Should I go to the doctor about it and force my dad to take me? Will a doctor even take me seriously or give me any reply that isn't telling me I'll get over it or it's normal??????????? Is their something I can change in my life that would fix it? Is there some sort of medication that will help me? I just want answers that AREN'T telling me that everyone does this and that it's normal because I don't know anyone else that has experienced this. If someone has experienced it though let me know please and tell me what I'm doing wrong!

    I don't even know which category to put this in wow
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is so strange I KNOW and I don't think anyone is going to relate to this but I have no idea what to do.

    I can't do revision without ripping pages out and starting again? I don't know how to explain this but every single time I have tried to revise for something, as soon as I write a single word that isn't perfect I rip it out. It feels like a reflex a bit? If I could insert pictures I would but 2 minutes ago I wrote down 'Biology' at the top of my page and it looked a bit big and uneven so I ripped it out. Then I tried again and this time I wrote it well and I wrote down my sub title but then I put an 's' at the end of a word for no reason and I tried to cross it out and it triggered me so much that I either couldn't continue or I had to rip it out. I've has this problem for a while and have given up on re-writing notes on a lot of subjects. Another example is for a physics test I tried to revise for which was the first test I had wrote something down on a page for successfully (other times I had done flash cards for other tests and the same thing would happen but it wasn't that bad as I didn't have to write down as much obviously) and I managed to write roughly 3 pages and I must've ripped out over 7. Tip-ex does help me with this but sometimes I still feel the need to do it. I also feel the need to measure a lot of the things I write, like diagrams on lined paper, If I need to draw a small graph I have to measure with a protractor or draw 2 dots x amount of cm from the margin and join them up. I can't really talk about it with my friends and I'm not very good at explaining it so they just end up sitting in silence or telling me it's normal and my dad also doesn't understand it and instead just tells me off for wasting so much paper. Another thing is that this doesn't happen in class probably because I'm not allowed to do it but in class I do have problems writing good notes because I feel unmotivated because it isn't perfect.

    I don't really want other ways to revise because I feel like I shouldn't have to make things harder for myself instead of just fixing it, I know I could type up my notes but it doesn't help me memorise them and I've tried writing them without ripping the pages out but I never finish them because I feel like they aren't perfect.

    One method that worked was to use small flash card sort of things to write my notes on so that if I made a stupid mistake I wouldn't have such a bad setback but I would rather not have to start again in the first place!

    I wouldn't care about this that much if I didn't have major tests in my future that I would need to revise for because I know that when your revising for multiple subjects a day you don't have time to rip pages out and start again. I have done my year 6 SATs but I didn't revise at all except for reading the revision guides

    At one point I did think I had O.C.D and I did have a few symptoms like intrusive thoughts and keeping things arranged in size and colour or order but nothing that most people don't do.

    Should I just write flash cards forever and continue with the same thing?Should I go to the doctor about it and force my dad to take me? Will a doctor even take me seriously or give me any reply that isn't telling me I'll get over it or it's normal??????????? Is their something I can change in my life that would fix it? Is there some sort of medication that will help me? I just want answers that AREN'T telling me that everyone does this and that it's normal because I don't know anyone else that has experienced this. If someone has experienced it though let me know please and tell me what I'm doing wrong!

    I don't even know which category to put this in wow
    I think that some people can have an OCD trait without being full on OCD. Obviously I can't know if you have it or not, but I think either are possibilities. You could talk to your doctor about this if you like. You could also ask if your school has any support people who could help. I would usually advice seeing the school counselor, but OCD is quite complicated so they may not know about it too well.

    For now you might like to try using a commuter. I had an issue like this (I did have OCD at the time actually) and I found that things improved A after just lumping it a few times and getting used to something not being perfect and B doing some work on the computer so I could change it if I wanted (I also found it helpful cos I was looking things up on the commuter at the same time so everything was going on in the same place).

    If you're not convinced you have OCD or don't feel like seeing your GP cos it's not bothering you too much you could look into CBT. It's a type of therapy that works well for things like OCD and you can also try the principals yourself outside of therapy (although it can be a bit confusing if you've not had it well explained). This is at least something I would describe as OCD-ish so even if it's not OCD the type of support you can get for it should overlap.

    So yeah this isn't really normal (but not all that stage either), you could see a doctor if you want, bit of you don't want to you can see how things go with looking into things like CBT.

    Hope that helps. Good luck with everything. I know how frustrating this sort of thing of can be.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    I think that some people can have an OCD trait without being full on OCD. Obviously I can't know if you have it or not, but I think either are possibilities. You could talk to your doctor about this if you like. You could also ask if your school has any support people who could help. I would usually advice seeing the school counselor, but OCD is quite complicated so they may not know about it too well.

    For now you might like to try using a commuter. I had an issue like this (I did have OCD at the time actually) and I found that things improved A after just lumping it a few times and getting used to something not being perfect and B doing some work on the computer so I could change it if I wanted (I also found it helpful cos I was looking things up on the commuter at the same time so everything was going on in the same place).

    If you're not convinced you have OCD or don't feel like seeing your GP cos it's not bothering you too much you could look into CBT. It's a type of therapy that works well for things like OCD and you can also try the principals yourself outside of therapy (although it can be a bit confusing if you've not had it well explained). This is at least something I would describe as OCD-ish so even if it's not OCD the type of support you can get for it should overlap.

    So yeah this isn't really normal (but not all that stage either), you could see a doctor if you want, bit of you don't want to you can see how things go with looking into things like CBT.

    Hope that helps. Good luck with everything. I know how frustrating this sort of thing of can be.
    Thank you soooo much I'm going to discuss with my dad and whether he would be ready for me to try CBT because I really want this to go away and it sounds like what I've been looking for. I have this test coming up really soon so I'll try to type up notes and I'll see how that helps and thank you again it's great to hear from someone who's had anything like this happen to them you've really helped.
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    Ugh update. Read my last thread to understand:
    https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...0#post75946690

    Some things I didn't feel I needed to mention in the last thread was that I had some signs of OCD that I wasn't sure were even symptoms but I'll try to explain. So when I was a child I would run up the stairs to my bedroom and say something in my head like, if you don't get up the stairs in 5 seconds your mum and dad will die, I never even thought about this until I heard about other peoples experiences with OCD and because it's so specific I think I have OCD. Can you have symptoms like this without even having OCD? I wash my hands quite a lot but not to the point where it bothers me, if I touch my hair I wash my hands or put on hand sanitizer but apart from that it's a normal pattern.

    So I went to the doctors and to put it shortly, I explained my concern with revising and that I could have O.C.D and lets just say that didn't go well. I ended up having a panic attack sort of thing? If anyone can identify what this is I would appreciate it. So I was obviously nervous because I felt stupid explaining it to this doctor that I don't even like and so, you know when someone's about to cry and you can hear it in their voice, that was happening except I don't know why. I don't feel sad about having this problem it doesn't upset me in the slightest but it just really bothers me so I wanted help, anyways so I was talking in the voice and felt like I couldn't breathe well and had to keep stopping for breaths. It happened a bit when I explained to my dad why I wanted to go to the doctors but not as bad. I don't know why, it's so stupid and of course this made the doctor way more concerned than he should and made me look even more stupid than I did so that made me panic even more. I wasn't crying but I felt like I was?

    That's not even the point of this thread, it's because the doctor asked me a few irrelevant questions like what sports I play (ok?) and ended up concluding that I think I'm better than all my friends and that I need to be the best at everything in my class. I'm not even close to being the best in my class and it doesn't bother me. He said he would call the school so I could get a counsellor, I knew this wouldn't help me because if my doctor can't understand the problems some teacher at my school won't either. It means I would have to miss classes or lunchs to have sessions and people would find out. I would have to explain to my friends that I angrily rip pages out of my revision books, my form teachers would know and possibly other teachers, the other popular girls in my class that talk about random innocent people and how they're "so fat" and "so ugly" would be talking about it to themselves and knowing my friends they would talk about it. Just no. When I somehow blurted out that I wanted other options of help he asked what were you thinking of and I said I'd heard of CBT and he told me it was impossible for them to accept me unless I'd tried to get help in some other way, I don't even think that's true but if it is someone correct me. Keep in mind I didn't explain any of this to the doctor and that I thought he was wrong because I was barely breathing and slightly dying. My dad also said somethings that weren't true or necessary but it didn't bother me as it gave me a chance to breathe.

    I left and then went on a walk with my dad which is when I started panicking thinking about what would happen if the school found out. So after eating we went back and told the receptionist to tell the doctor to not tell the school.

    What do I do now????? Can I get CBT? I wish this whole thing would just end.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ugh update. Read my last thread to understand:
    https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...0#post75946690

    Some things I didn't feel I needed to mention in the last thread was that I had some signs of OCD that I wasn't sure were even symptoms but I'll try to explain. So when I was a child I would run up the stairs to my bedroom and say something in my head like, if you don't get up the stairs in 5 seconds your mum and dad will die, I never even thought about this until I heard about other peoples experiences with OCD and because it's so specific I think I have OCD. Can you have symptoms like this without even having OCD? I wash my hands quite a lot but not to the point where it bothers me, if I touch my hair I wash my hands or put on hand sanitizer but apart from that it's a normal pattern.

    So I went to the doctors and to put it shortly, I explained my concern with revising and that I could have O.C.D and lets just say that didn't go well. I ended up having a panic attack sort of thing? If anyone can identify what this is I would appreciate it. So I was obviously nervous because I felt stupid explaining it to this doctor that I don't even like and so, you know when someone's about to cry and you can hear it in their voice, that was happening except I don't know why. I don't feel sad about having this problem it doesn't upset me in the slightest but it just really bothers me so I wanted help, anyways so I was talking in the voice and felt like I couldn't breathe well and had to keep stopping for breaths. It happened a bit when I explained to my dad why I wanted to go to the doctors but not as bad. I don't know why, it's so stupid and of course this made the doctor way more concerned than he should and made me look even more stupid than I did so that made me panic even more. I wasn't crying but I felt like I was?

    That's not even the point of this thread, it's because the doctor asked me a few irrelevant questions like what sports I play (ok?) and ended up concluding that I think I'm better than all my friends and that I need to be the best at everything in my class. I'm not even close to being the best in my class and it doesn't bother me. He said he would call the school so I could get a counsellor, I knew this wouldn't help me because if my doctor can't understand the problems some teacher at my school won't either. It means I would have to miss classes or lunchs to have sessions and people would find out. I would have to explain to my friends that I angrily rip pages out of my revision books, my form teachers would know and possibly other teachers, the other popular girls in my class that talk about random innocent people and how they're "so fat" and "so ugly" would be talking about it to themselves and knowing my friends they would talk about it. Just no. When I somehow blurted out that I wanted other options of help he asked what were you thinking of and I said I'd heard of CBT and he told me it was impossible for them to accept me unless I'd tried to get help in some other way, I don't even think that's true but if it is someone correct me. Keep in mind I didn't explain any of this to the doctor and that I thought he was wrong because I was barely breathing and slightly dying. My dad also said somethings that weren't true or necessary but it didn't bother me as it gave me a chance to breathe.

    I left and then went on a walk with my dad which is when I started panicking thinking about what would happen if the school found out. So after eating we went back and told the receptionist to tell the doctor to not tell the school.

    What do I do now????? Can I get CBT? I wish this whole thing would just end.
    Different areas have different policies for who can get what care when so it's entirely possible that NHS CBT in your area is only available after other things have been tried.
    I think at the moment your best option would either be to talk to your school about counseling and see if you could get it after school or something or to look into private CBT services (which you would have to pay for yourself).
    If you get counseling at school it will be kept confidential and none of your class or even your teachers will be told what you tall about in there.
    Sounds like you're pretty spot on about the panic attack thing. Sometimes things can make your body panic even if you're not feeling too stressed out yourself. Things like doctors appointments where you're thinking about if they'll take you seriously, what's going to happen next etc can cause that panic response. It's justify your body getting confused and preparing itself to deal with a difficult situation despite there not being one coming. If it happens again just try to stay calm, breathe slowly and remember you're okay.

    Hope that helps.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Different areas have different policies for who can get what care when so it's entirely possible that NHS CBT in your area is only available after other things have been tried.
    I think at the moment your best option would either be to talk to your school about counseling and see if you could get it after school or something or to look into private CBT services (which you would have to pay for yourself).
    If you get counseling at school it will be kept confidential and none of your class or even your teachers will be told what you tall about in there.
    Sounds like you're pretty spot on about the panic attack thing. Sometimes things can make your body panic even if you're not feeling too stressed out yourself. Things like doctors appointments where you're thinking about if they'll take you seriously, what's going to happen next etc can cause that panic response. It's justify your body getting confused and preparing itself to deal with a difficult situation despite there not being one coming. If it happens again just try to stay calm, breathe slowly and remember you're okay.

    Hope that helps.
    I'll try to get NHS CBT but if it doesn't work I'll look into private CBT. As for the panic attack, I'm not really worried about it except I'm not sure if I can even properly explain what's happening to someone else, that's why I don't want to go to the school because I just don't think I would benefit from it and there's still that chance of my friends finding out. I would also have to contact someone to get me a counsellor which worries me but hopefully I wont need to. Thank you so much again!
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    If you are worried about not being able to explain it to people could you try showing them your original post on here? I think you explained how you have been feeling and what sort of problems you have been having very well on here. Also I would recommend seeing the school counsellor if you are given the opportunity because (as i think has been said) the counsellor will not discuss what you tell them with anyone else so you shouldn't need to worry about people finding out. The counsellor will also be trained in recognising what sort of issue you are experiencing e.g. if you have some sort of OCD, so they may be more helpful than your GP was.

    All the best in whatever you decide to do and I hope you get the help that you need.
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    (Original post by Eruthien)
    If you are worried about not being able to explain it to people could you try showing them your original post on here? I think you explained how you have been feeling and what sort of problems you have been having very well on here. Also I would recommend seeing the school counsellor if you are given the opportunity because (as i think has been said) the counsellor will not discuss what you tell them with anyone else so you shouldn't need to worry about people finding out. The counsellor will also be trained in recognising what sort of issue you are experiencing e.g. if you have some sort of OCD, so they may be more helpful than your GP was.

    All the best in whatever you decide to do and I hope you get the help that you need.
    I just don't feel comfortable explaining it to people I know, I feel like that's part of the reason I had such a bad response to the doctor but I really have to think about it. Thank you.
 
 
 
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