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    I’m currently in my first relationship and I’m overthinking everything. I always seem to message or call my boyfriend first which makes me think he doesn’t like me and then if he takes a while to reply I start to think he ignoring me. I’m constantly paranoid that he doesn’t like me anymore or that he’s being off with me. When I ask him about it he reassures me that he isn’t being off with me but then I feel like I’m annoying him. What should I do ?
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    Take confidence in the fact he is reassuring you.

    It's easy to overthink things and think he's ignoring you when he's reply takes a while.

    Perhaps he is busy or got something on hence you calling him first.

    However he has reassured you and does take texts and I'm sure your calls.
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    It is really important to feel comfortable in a relationship. It is clear that you're feeling insecure and this is mainly aimed towards yourself.

    You need to stop doubting yourself with negative thoughts such as 'I'm being annoying.'

    Ask him if he loves you and wants to be with you. If he says yes then you should try to trust him. Ask him once if he finds you annoying and if he says no then it's not your problem if he secretly does.

    Honesty is the key.

    But also if you're not feeling happy then maybe take some time out of relationships to focus on yourself.

    Paranoia is a really negative emotion and will often bring you down. There are many methods to deal with this anxiety but it will just take time to over come it.

    I really hope that life works out and you become happy soon <3
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    These feelings are coming from within you (and are not his fault). And if you persist in being this insecure, then your insecurities could drive a big wedge inbetween you two.

    Why are you so adamant that he has a problem with you?
    Why can you not accept any reassurances on his part?

    You need to identify the route cause of these feelings (such as personal insecurities, childhood trauma, self-loathing etc). You have a nice guy, and yet you seem to be struggling to allow yourself to accept this reality (even though he has not done anything wrong).
    Don't be so persistent in trying to look for problems where none exist.


    This relationship may or may not last the trials of time. But what good is it, if you spend almost the entire course of the relationship worrying about being rejected? The relationship could end (and you would never have allowed yourself to fully enjoy it while it lasted).

    Life is for living. A slow response is not a cause for concern. Does your boyfriend have to be 100% super energetic and happy all the time? Everyone gets a little tired or quiet from time to time, but with your boyfriend, that seems to end up with him being accused of harboring ill feelings towards you (and this is not fair behaviour on your part).

    Imagine for a moment, that if anytime you weren't feeling 100% energetic and outgoing (or did not immediately reply to every message etc), you were met with doubt, suspicion and accusation- don't you think that would become exhausting and exasperating after a while?

    You need to reign in your urges for constant reassurance. The relationship is going fine. Don't "castostrophize" in your mind every little action- if something bad actually happens, deal with it then, but until then? Just enjoy things as they are (and allow yourself to believe that really good things can happen to you).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m currently in my first relationship and I’m overthinking everything. I always seem to message or call my boyfriend first which makes me think he doesn’t like me and then if he takes a while to reply I start to think he ignoring me. I’m constantly paranoid that he doesn’t like me anymore or that he’s being off with me. When I ask him about it he reassures me that he isn’t being off with me but then I feel like I’m annoying him. What should I do ?
    I feel the exact same about my boyfriend and it's really hard to just accept that he might express his emotions differently, because I always feel annoying too when I ask him why he seems down and it makes him irritated too. My advice would be try your best to accept how he behaves and trust that if he feels differently then he'll let you know x
 
 
 
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