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My friend's mental health is impacting my recovery - help? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    For the past 3 years I have had a close friend and our friendship has primarily revolved around mental health. We mostly support one another and they always look out for me. I have had experiences with depression and anxiety and am now getting better. I am in a healthy long distance relationship and will be starting university in October. I still have trouble with anxiety and this is a topic which I am aware of but I am working on it for my own benefit and for the benefit of my loved ones (family, friends, and boyfriend).

    Throughout this time my friend has been gradually getting worse. Unlike me they have never self-harmed but their mania and anxiety and depression is far more chronic and they struggle with talking to people. In fact I am really their only friend as one by one each of their friends has drifted away.

    I have always offered support to my friend however they don't seem to want to help themselves. After a year and a half they decided to go to their school counsellor but it's proving ineffective. I keep suggesting that they try the route I opted for; over the phone cognitive behavioural therapy or just going to the GP. I am getting so exhausted of them constantly saying that "they don't know" and they can't give a reason for it at all. They're even considering lying on an occupational health form because they don't want anyone to know that they're struggling.

    I feel like I can't focus on getting myself better, or work toward maintaining my healthy relationships and support this friend 24/7. Whenever I talk to them I just end up getting angry as we never joke anymore and it's just them talking about how they feel **** constantly. They refuse my support and I feel helpless. What should I do?
    • PS Reviewer

    PS Reviewer
    Have you told your friend that they are impacting this much on you and if so, what was their response?

    It sounds like you're caught between a rock and a hard place if you're this person's only remaining friend. Ultimately your own health (not your friend's) is your ultimate responsibility and has to be your main focus/priority.

    It may be that, at some point soon, you need to cut this friend off if they are having a seriously negative impact on you BUT you need to do this gently but firmly if you do end up cutting ties.

    What's their family like and do you know them well enough to speak to them about what's going on for your friend?
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