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Should I break up? watch

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    Hello, I am new to this forum and have had this on my mind for quite a while and need advice.

    I am an 18 yr old guy and I will be going off to college this fall. My girlfriend and I have been best friends since I was a freshman in high school (4 years), and have been dating for about 2 years. We were ‘friends with benefits’ for the 2 years prior to us being in a relationship. She has been my only girlfriend up until now, and I love her to death. We have been through so much together and have grown tremendously as individuals together. But, as college approaches I am starting to wonder if I should continue the relationship. I am still so young and want to experience what it is like to date other people (as bad as that sounds). I love her very much, and can see us raising a family together one day, but my curiosity of what it would be like to be single through college won’t go away. I guess I don’t want to miss out on the “college experience” of being a free individual.

    This is funny because I hate the thought of breaking up with her; she’s my best friend and I’ve never been closer with anyone else. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the curiosity of being sexual with another girl wasn’t there (again that sounds bad), but I feel as though it’s a normal thought as I haven’t had many other relationships. I love her, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tied down to a long term relationship so young. I want to do what’s going to be best for me, I want to experience my life fully. Any suggestions on what to do?
    • #2
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    Because of how strong your curiosity to be with others seems to be quite strong, breaking up with her is probably the best choice as it avoids you hurting her by cheating whilst you’re away at college.
    However, if you see your future in someone and supposedly love them so much, why throw all that away just so can, in your words, “experience life to the full” *

    *(I really hate when people use this as an excuse to break up with someone as it implies that relationships tie down your life or that experiencing life/filling life is all about having multiple sexual partners - what’s the point if you already feel you’ve found the one?)

    anyways, it’s a free world (for the most part) and people can do whatever they want, but why throw away a diamond just to play with some stones
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    talk to her about your worries, for goodness sake don't say you want to sleep with other women. talk to her and see if she has the same worries as you. Ask her if she can see the relationship still being strong when you are apart. the worry is if you go off chasing tail and she has been there for you, without talking to her, you will of wrecked what you had. I hope you understand what I mean. A strong relationship is based on communication and trust, if you both know what's going through your heads you can both make up a decision.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, I am new to this forum and have had this on my mind for quite a while and need advice.

    I am an 18 yr old guy and I will be going off to college this fall. My girlfriend and I have been best friends since I was a freshman in high school (4 years), and have been dating for about 2 years. We were ‘friends with benefits’ for the 2 years prior to us being in a relationship. She has been my only girlfriend up until now, and I love her to death. We have been through so much together and have grown tremendously as individuals together. But, as college approaches I am starting to wonder if I should continue the relationship. I am still so young and want to experience what it is like to date other people (as bad as that sounds). I love her very much, and can see us raising a family together one day, but my curiosity of what it would be like to be single through college won’t go away. I guess I don’t want to miss out on the “college experience” of being a free individual.

    This is funny because I hate the thought of breaking up with her; she’s my best friend and I’ve never been closer with anyone else. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the curiosity of being sexual with another girl wasn’t there (again that sounds bad), but I feel as though it’s a normal thought as I haven’t had many other relationships. I love her, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tied down to a long term relationship so young. I want to do what’s going to be best for me, I want to experience my life fully. Any suggestions on what to do?
    So basically, you have the curiosity of cheating?, yet you 'love' her? (*cough cough* if you did love her, you would have thee thoughts)
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    So basically, you have the curiosity of cheating?, yet you 'love' her? (*cough cough* if you did love her, you would have thee thoughts)

    What a prick.
    Okay so you're a Welcome Squad member and get to curse freely? Great. :lol:
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    (Original post by _Eleven_)
    Okay so you're a Welcome Squad member and get to curse freely? Great. :lol:
    I'm still allowed my opinions and since when is 'prick' swearing?
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    So basically, you have the curiosity of cheating?, yet you 'love' her? (*cough cough* if you did love her, you would have thee thoughts)

    What a prick.
    While I think "prick" is a bit strong, I have to agree with you. I had a boyfriend that I had been with off and on all through secondary school, we were best friends and he was the sweetest and absolutely beautiful (looked like a young leo dicaprio) ]
    I could absolutely see myself having a family and growing old with him. But there was that niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I had never experienced another relationship, how did I know this was what I wanted for the rest of my life.
    I broke up with him before I started uni and he started going out with my friend who looked like me, that was really weird and hurt like hell. BUT, I moved on, and I am so glad I did, it wasn't until I experienced other relationship - not necessarily sexual ones - that I realised how needy and insecure and flawed he had been, the relationship wouldn't have worked and divorce would have been inevitable! I loved him, but wasn't IN love with him.
    I still have fond memories of him, but I am glad I dodged that bullet. I met my now husband and then I knew what real love was, I could never imagine wanting to be with another man now, not even if brad pitt offered himself to me on a plate. (if Khal Drogo had a mind to ravage me though.....)

    So my point is, you don't know what you want until you have something to compare it to, and if she really was the one for you, you definitely wouldn't be having thoughts about being with other girls.

    Hope that helps.
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    You like the idea of dating other people which translates to "there is something wrong with my relationship". Let's be realistic here, if you truly loved your girlfriend to death, you wouldn't have these kinds of thoughts.

    Lust is a shallow emotion. If you are not happy with something, fix it. If you've already committed to breaking up then there's no point sticking around. At the end of the day you're throwing away 2 years of a relationship because you're a bit horny.
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    (Original post by scattyowl)
    While I think "prick" is a bit strong, I have to agree with you. I had a boyfriend that I had been with off and on all through secondary school, we were best friends and he was the sweetest and absolutely beautiful (looked like a young leo dicaprio) ]
    I could absolutely see myself having a family and growing old with him. But there was that niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I had never experienced another relationship, how did I know this was what I wanted for the rest of my life.
    I broke up with him before I started uni and he started going out with my friend who looked like me, that was really weird and hurt like hell. BUT, I moved on, and I am so glad I did, it wasn't until I experienced other relationship - not necessarily sexual ones - that I realised how needy and insecure and flawed he had been, the relationship wouldn't have worked and divorce would have been inevitable! I loved him, but wasn't IN love with him.
    I still have fond memories of him, but I am glad I dodged that bullet. I met my now husband and then I knew what real love was, I could never imagine wanting to be with another man now, not even if brad pitt offered himself to me on a plate. (if Khal Drogo had a mind to ravage me though.....)

    So my point is, you don't know what you want until you have something to compare it to, and if she really was the one for you, you definitely wouldn't be having thoughts about being with other girls.

    Hope that helps.
    Maybe it was a bit strong. I can just this guy being the type to cheat though, becuase of the way he talks about wanting to be single in college - therefore wanting to sleep around, which he'd do if he breaks up or not - and I'm just thinking of his poor girlfriend when he does.

    I guess you're right, about having something to compare it to, and Im glad you have found the right person now
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    Maybe it was a bit strong. I can just this guy being the type to cheat though, becuase of the way he talks about wanting to be single in college - therefore wanting to sleep around, which he'd do if he breaks up or not - and I'm just thinking of his poor girlfriend when he does.

    I guess you're right, about having something to compare it to, and Im glad you have found the right person now
    I agree, maybe he wants to dip his quill in many ink pots, but thats his prerogative. As long as he does the right thing and finishes the relationship he is in first.

    It will go one of many ways, either he will break up with her and sleep about a bit, then she will move on and find someone that wants her and only her.
    Or he will realise he's made a terrible mistake, declare his undying love, she might have already moved on, and therefore he has lost the love of his life, nobody else will ever match up to her and he will spend the rest of his life alone with nothing but his hand for company.
    OR he will meet the right girl when he has the experience to know what he really wants in life.

    Who knows what they want at 18 years old?

    Do the right thing for you man, there is no point making yourself unhappy to keep someone else happy, release her if thats what you want to do so she can be free when someone comes along who really really wants to be with her.
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    So basically, you have the curiosity of cheating?, yet you 'love' her? (*cough cough* if you did love her, you would have thee thoughts)

    What a prick.
    I'm not seeing the cheating part. Sounds like he wants a breakup so he can wxperiment then get back together. Not really sure where that fits though.
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    (Original post by Bio 7)
    I'm not seeing the cheating part. Sounds like he wants a breakup so he can wxperiment then get back together. Not really sure where that fits though.
    Even if thats true, he would be basically saying "Oh darling, let me be single for college so I can sleep around with other girls, then once college is finished, I'll be back with you!" -

    Yeah, what a way treat to a girl - bet that'll make her feel loved
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    Even if thats true, he would be basically saying "Oh darling, let me be single for college so I can sleep around with other girls, then once college is finished, I'll be back with you!" -

    Yeah, what a way treat to a girl - bet that'll make her feel loved
    I said it wasn't cheating, I didn't say it was a nice way to treat the relationship.
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    I mean look, it's down to self control.
    I've only ever been in one relationship my whole life, and I'm still in it. there have definitely been times when I wonder if I've missed out on something by not having had that opportunity to experiment like everyone else I know (including my partner before I met him) but in the end it's a passing feeling that isn't important in the long term because I already have who I love, any other lust is just that, just lust. if you love your girlfriend, then going to uni won't matter, being curious won't matter, because you already have her. I think it's completely normal to be curious! but it's silly to ruin what sounds like such a good relationship over it.
    you say you want to experience your life fully, but It's Your Life, you're already doing that. having relations with other people will not make your life any fuller or more worthwhile. having a girlfriend does not mean that you aren't a free individual, nor will it ruin your college experience.
    obviously it's completely up to you, but you sound like you have a great thing and no real reason to ruin it
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    (Original post by Bio 7)
    I said it wasn't cheating, I didn't say it was a nice way to treat the relationship.
    If he wants to be single through college so he can live the 'college experience,' he'll cheat if he doesn't break up regardless - I can tell he's the type

    I say do break up OP, she'll be better off without you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, I am new to this forum and have had this on my mind for quite a while and need advice.

    I am an 18 yr old guy and I will be going off to college this fall. My girlfriend and I have been best friends since I was a freshman in high school (4 years), and have been dating for about 2 years. We were ‘friends with benefits’ for the 2 years prior to us being in a relationship. She has been my only girlfriend up until now, and I love her to death. We have been through so much together and have grown tremendously as individuals together. But, as college approaches I am starting to wonder if I should continue the relationship. I am still so young and want to experience what it is like to date other people (as bad as that sounds). I love her very much, and can see us raising a family together one day, but my curiosity of what it would be like to be single through college won’t go away. I guess I don’t want to miss out on the “college experience” of being a free individual.

    This is funny because I hate the thought of breaking up with her; she’s my best friend and I’ve never been closer with anyone else. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the curiosity of being sexual with another girl wasn’t there (again that sounds bad), but I feel as though it’s a normal thought as I haven’t had many other relationships. I love her, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tied down to a long term relationship so young. I want to do what’s going to be best for me, I want to experience my life fully. Any suggestions on what to do?
    If you loved her you would think about someone else
    So first figure out your feelings and don’t say u love her when u clearly don’t
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, I am new to this forum and have had this on my mind for quite a while and need advice.

    I am an 18 yr old guy and I will be going off to college this fall. My girlfriend and I have been best friends since I was a freshman in high school (4 years), and have been dating for about 2 years. We were ‘friends with benefits’ for the 2 years prior to us being in a relationship. She has been my only girlfriend up until now, and I love her to death. We have been through so much together and have grown tremendously as individuals together. But, as college approaches I am starting to wonder if I should continue the relationship. I am still so young and want to experience what it is like to date other people (as bad as that sounds). I love her very much, and can see us raising a family together one day, but my curiosity of what it would be like to be single through college won’t go away. I guess I don’t want to miss out on the “college experience” of being a free individual.

    This is funny because I hate the thought of breaking up with her; she’s my best friend and I’ve never been closer with anyone else. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the curiosity of being sexual with another girl wasn’t there (again that sounds bad), but I feel as though it’s a normal thought as I haven’t had many other relationships. I love her, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tied down to a long term relationship so young. I want to do what’s going to be best for me, I want to experience my life fully. Any suggestions on what to do?

    are u american?
    • #3
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    Don't break up right now but if you are going to screw someone else break up with her first. Many relationships don't survive uni but who knows you two might.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, I am new to this forum and have had this on my mind for quite a while and need advice.

    I am an 18 yr old guy and I will be going off to college this fall. My girlfriend and I have been best friends since I was a freshman in high school (4 years), and have been dating for about 2 years. We were ‘friends with benefits’ for the 2 years prior to us being in a relationship. She has been my only girlfriend up until now, and I love her to death. We have been through so much together and have grown tremendously as individuals together. But, as college approaches I am starting to wonder if I should continue the relationship. I am still so young and want to experience what it is like to date other people (as bad as that sounds). I love her very much, and can see us raising a family together one day, but my curiosity of what it would be like to be single through college won’t go away. I guess I don’t want to miss out on the “college experience” of being a free individual.

    This is funny because I hate the thought of breaking up with her; she’s my best friend and I’ve never been closer with anyone else. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the curiosity of being sexual with another girl wasn’t there (again that sounds bad), but I feel as though it’s a normal thought as I haven’t had many other relationships. I love her, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tied down to a long term relationship so young. I want to do what’s going to be best for me, I want to experience my life fully. Any suggestions on what to do?
    break up with her becos you seem really confused and you'll end up hurting her...and don't stay friends with her or you'll fall back into being friends with benefits and you'll both still be too emotionally invested and it'll end horribly
 
 
 
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