Is it normal for my mother to expect birthday and Christmas presents?

Is this a joke? Be a man and pay for your own life. Mummys little boy having a temper tantrum. Probably never experienced a day in the real world. I managed to travel, work and study at uni just fine on my own i would never have even dreamed of scrounging off my parents. Suck it up pay your own way as your parents wont be here forever and then who are going to live off.

You are not a child. You are an adult. You made the adult choice to go to university rather than enter the world of work, and your mum should not be held responsible for subsidising you through that. Get your maintenance loan, get a job, and earn your way. £200 for christmas and birthday is WAAAY more than most parents give their children at our age.

It is a shame your mum is ungrateful. Maybe give her money of gift cards instead to avoid disappointment?

Why should I work if I can afford not to?

The inheritance, darling

Thank you for your answer. Bold sounds exactly like the arguments my mother uses when I question her expectations of a gift.

Actually, I do believe I'm a grateful person. I am also not independent by any means, I'm not dependent on her specifically because of her own faults, so you can't consider that "independence" as a reason to buy her gifts.

You do not know the full extent of my relationship with my mother, or what she has said regarding the circumstances of my birth and existence. The roofs were provided for her by my grandparents. You should take this into consideration before judging me, but that wasn't the point of the thread, I was not asking to be judged. What I wanted to know was whether it was normal for parents, and you did answer.

My gifts are generally not cheap, not sure why you assumed otherwise. Anyway, it's the thought that matters.

Thank you for your answer. Bold sounds exactly like the arguments my mother uses when I question her expectations of a gift.

Actually, I do believe I'm a grateful person. I am also not independent by any means, I'm not dependent on her specifically because of her own faults, so you can't consider that "independence" as a reason to buy her gifts.

You do not know the full extent of my relationship with my mother, or what she has said regarding the circumstances of my birth and existence. The roofs were provided for her by my grandparents. You should take this into consideration before judging me, but that wasn't the point of the thread, I was not asking to be judged. What I wanted to know was whether it was normal for parents, and you did answer.

My gifts are generally not cheap, not sure why you assumed otherwise. Anyway, it's the thought that matters.

I'm a 20 years old undergraduate. It feels wrong to me that she expects presents from her child, at this age, especially given that after I've turned 18 hers haven't been particularly special (usually worth a couple of hundreds) and this is basically all she contributes to my finances.

Furthermore, it's unpleasant to give her presents because she is ungrateful and usually unsatisfied with my gifts. This is why I'd rather avoid it.

EDIT for judgemental haters: I have always bought relatively expensive gifts for my mother, only recently I had a feeling it was wrong for her to expect it given she doesn't help me with uni costs at all. I know I am privileged and I appreciate I have been lucky to be born in my family (it could have gone much better, but I had a 99% chance of being poorer).

Inheritance doesn't last forever.

As far as I can see, you literally only see your parents as monetary value.

Have you ever thought your mum might have contributed if she was asked, but your dad just took over and pays all of your allowance?

No one said you have to use your Trust Fund now. Man, I've had a Trust Fund of inheritance when I was 8 and aside from buying 1 car I haven't touched it since. Instead I have a part time job that keeps me relatively comfortable while I continue my studies. -- The Trust Fund is my security blanket for post-graduation. Because you know... not everyone is guaranteed a job straight away after uni, even if you think that's not the case.

You really are the epitome of a whiny, selfish manchild! Try having a Mother who was an alcoholic with severe bi-polar, in and out of hospital and multiple suicide attempts. So desperate and lonely and this made your childhood very difficult. Try having to support her and be the parent, try supporting yourself without ANY help from your parents from 16yrs old, Christmas or not. Try working from the age of 15 and living day to day deciding whether to feed the family pet you inherited, or yourself because you only have enough money to feed one of you. Christmas or not. But imagine that this Mother did her very best and you knew she loved you because you’re alive and they are there for you.



Try getting ugly pyjamas and clothes that don’t fit and things for Christmas you will never use and didn’t ask for, because your Mum loved them and wanted you to love them too. Now try imagining finding your Mother dead on the kitchen floor, knowing she died alone and sad. Imagine not receiving those silly gifts at Christmas anymore and knowing you would give anything to have just one more of Mum’s silly Xmas gifts to giggle at with her again!



You are ungrateful, spoilt, entitled and selfish. You are a disgrace and your Mum deserves better. Stop living off your parents, they owe you NOTHING!! You’re not going to Uni for them, you are doing it for YOURSELF! And sponging off them at every turn. YOU ARE THE OPPORTUNISTIC ONE!!



I don’t give a damn what you’re ‘planning’ to do after Uni, you are all mouth. Get a job at MaccyD’s like every other self respecting, hard working student and quit your whining!



Use Daddy’s money to buy her something nice. OR better still, take her a little bunch of flowers when you go to see her each time and give her a kiss and tell her you love her. Because believe me, when she’s gone, you are going to regret the day you wrote this post.

Thank you for your answer. Bold sounds exactly like the arguments my mother uses when I question her expectations of a gift.

Actually, I do believe I'm a grateful person. I am also not independent by any means, I'm not dependent on her specifically because of her own faults, so you can't consider that "independence" as a reason to buy her gifts.

You do not know the full extent of my relationship with my mother, or what she has said regarding the circumstances of my birth and existence. The roofs were provided for her by my grandparents. You should take this into consideration before judging me, but that wasn't the point of the thread, I was not asking to be judged. What I wanted to know was whether it was normal for parents, and you did answer.

My gifts are generally not cheap, not sure why you assumed otherwise. Anyway, it's the thought that matters.