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    But when this happens, if you rely on this view, your whole sense of self-worth depletes into a pile of nothing because if you strive for the best and don't get it, what's left?
    Some people simply refuse to quit whilst still fully maintaining their self-worth Determination in other words.

    (Original post by auburnstar)
    Not super relevant to the thread but I will just say that as someone who has been personally mentally screwed over by this mentality... This is all well and great, until you f*** up at some point (which you inevitably will because it is impossible to achieve every single goal in life - which is a good thing because it stops you from being complacent, and makes life more interesting). But when this happens, if you rely on this view, your whole sense of self-worth depletes into a pile of nothing because if you strive for the best and don't get it, what's left?

    To quote Sam Harris “…our pleasures are, by their very nature, fleeting. If we enjoy some great professional success, our feelings of accomplishment remain vivid and intoxicating for an hour, or perhaps longer, but then they subside. And the search goes on. The effort required to keep boredom and other unpleasantness at bay must continue, moment to moment…”

    I'm not saying anyone here holds this mentality, nor do I discount prestige (it exists in many cases for a justified reason). But I would say that choosing something solely on the basis of prestige without considering "do I really want to do this? Is this really what is going to make me happiest?" is often unwise.

    I've spoiler'd some interesting links on the topic which may help those who are struggling with this mentality after facing any change in career path, job/school rejections etc.

    Spoiler:
    Show



    http://casnocha.com/happy-ambition-status-cocaine (this isn't an nsfw link, the reference just talks about how falsely "addictive" ambition can become)
    http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/09/24/...be-successful/ (forgive the provocative title)

    In all seriousness though, interesting post. But I think I've been replying far too much to this thread so will leave it there. Hopefully OP is currently having a civilised discussion with his other half to amicably resolve this impasse!
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    (Original post by scottsmith)
    My teachers, my parents and friends all think that i should go into Cambridge. I supposes they are saying that because it would be good for the school.
    A bit of an indifferent statement on your part. Most people who are giving you this advice care for you, and not only for the school (I mean seriously? Your parents and friends really care about the school to this extent?). I really do suggest, along with the most in this forum, that you consider going to Cambridge.

    Don't think of it as a 'betrayal' act, but more of an opportunity for you and your gf to be in a better place after you finish your education. You'll be more happier after all this and I promise you that.

    All in all, obviously, you do what you want.

    Good luck!
    Edit: I realised that I've only read the first page of this forum thinking that nothing more was said... Apologies if it doesn't flow with the rest of the forum.. I'll still keep my opinion though!
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    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    Luckily you didn't use your real name for your account.

    Oh...

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    LOL Doonesbury
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    Just stumbled across this thread. A most entertaining read!

    I was thinking
    1) This gf must be a bit special - is she still not talking to you, OP?
    2) Isn't Jeremy Corbyn going to repay your student loan anyway?
    3) Are you sure you're tall enough for Part III at Cambridge?
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    Student debt is overstated in my opinion. Like what has already been said, even when you do meet the threshold to pay it off, you hardly notice it.
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    I would not turn down Cambridge for Edinburgh. Seems like a really bad choice.
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    Update for you guys who are wondering how its going:

    - My girlfriend was more sad than mad that I didn't share my concerns fully with her. Also she going through her own troubles with people (mutual friends) all slating her for my decisions to reject Cambridge and the forum added to that.
    - Even tho she is sad/devastated with me not going to Edinburgh with her, she thinks "its better a choice for us as a couple if i go to Cambridge ... so that she doesn't feel like she is pulling me back'. Don't know if she is saying that cause she 'forced' to, well get to the bottom of that later.
    - Currently my mind as changed about rejecting Cambridge but will not accept the offer until a week later, to gather my thoughts
    - Initial plan is to visit each other every weekend after uni has started (dk how that will go)
    - she has the grades to go to second year, so she is planning on doing that, so technically it won't be like she wasted an year.
    - literally have know idea how the relationship will go once uni has started but all i know is that i am going to shag her tonight .
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    totally
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    (Original post by scottsmith)
    I been offered a place to study a 4 year Maths in Cambridge. However i just found out that the Masters i want to do you have to apply again after 3 years of the current course.

    So i am planning on going to Edinburgh Uni, do my bachelors then apply for master's in Cambridge. Thereby saving more than £36,000. Is that a responsible choice.
    Once you’ve got Cambridge on your CV. you’ll get a job anywhere. DO NOT TURN IT DOWN.
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    Although saying that I do believe in divine providence so quite frankly what’s written for you is written for you - you could go Edinburgh and be just as successful.
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    Just read through these 10 or so pages of bs at midnight. Shoulda called the thread "Cambridge or Girlfriend?" oh dear

    Cambridge on your CV lasts forever, a girlfriend... very unlikely to. Honestly hope you pick Cambridge

    Also good to add that your girlfriend didn't lose much from taking a gap year. If she filled it with useful experiences, then gap years are even beneficial. Whereas turning down Cambridge is definitely losing something
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    (Original post by scottsmith)
    - Initial plan is to visit each other every weekend after uni has started (dk how that will go).
    Every weekend is unlikely to be practical. Once a month perhaps. Do not underestimate the massive jump in workload immediately your first term starts, and indeed throughout your first year at Cambridge. Terms are short (8 weeks) and therefore intense. Taking every weekend out will interupt the process too much - and actually isn't technically permitted by Cambridge either. You are expected to be resident for a certain number of nights ("keeping" term) - it's not that strictly policed but it can be especially if the quality of your work is being affected. In extremis they can refuse to award your degree...

    Spoiler:
    Show

    "The University requires all candidates for the B.A. degree to have spent no less than nine Terms in Cambridge and the College has to certify to the University that this is the case for each undergraduate. In order to 'keep term' an undergraduate must be residing in accommodation approved by the Tutor for no less than 59 nights during the Michaelmas and Lent Terms and 52 nights in the Easter Term. Please note that these figures refer to University Terms rather than Full Terms."
    "If an undergraduate fails to 'keep term' it is not possible for the College to certify to the University that the term in question has been kept. This will have very inconvenient consequences for an undergraduate who has otherwise become qualified to take a degree. A more official account of relevant regulations will be found in College Regulations, Regulation II. The Senior Tutor will address this subject further when he talks to all new undergraduates in a group meeting at the beginning of the new academic year, and your own Tutor will be able to clarify any point that is not clear to you."

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    (Original post by khanaa1)
    Once you’ve got Cambridge on your CV. you’ll get a job anywhere. DO NOT TURN IT DOWN.
    That's not strictly true. It's not a golden ticket You are more likely, but there is no guarantee, particularly in very competitive fields.

    Oh and goes without saying that if you do a degree in eg Art History you would not be able to become an aeronautical engineer.

    (I would mention Jake again, but I think I've overused that point by now xD)
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    (Original post by auburnstar)
    That's not strictly true. It's not a golden ticket You are more likely, but there is no guarantee, particularly in very competitive fields.

    Oh and goes without saying that if you do a degree in eg Art History you would not be able to become an aeronautical engineer.

    (I would mention Jake again, but I think I've overused that point by now xD)
    But surely in the example of Jake, you wouldn't consider him unemployed because of a lack of quality or anything. The fact that he has graduated from Cambridge means that he has the ability to hand pick which jobs and companies are most suited to his desires. He's able to be choosy. He has got some rejections yes, but he could very easily get employed the next day if he wanted to.

    ^^ That's just my opinion, correct me if I'm wrong!
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    (Original post by scottsmith)
    Initial plan is to visit each other every weekend after uni has started (dk how that will go)
    To give you an idea, me and my other half see each other about once every 2 months.
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    (Original post by Jono-Wolf)
    But surely in the example of Jake, you wouldn't consider him unemployed because of a lack of quality or anything. The fact that he has graduated from Cambridge means that he has the ability to hand pick which jobs and companies are most suited to his desires. He's able to be choosy. He has got some rejections yes, but he could very easily get employed the next day if he wanted to.

    ^^ That's just my opinion, correct me if I'm wrong!
    He also left an employer (Graze) without a job to go to (or that new job didn't work out or something (I don't follow him that closely...)). So technically he made himself unemployed.

    But it's also worth noting he was an A*A*A*A* student who was pleased to end up with a 2:1. Which kind of shows how tough it is at Cambridge.
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    (Original post by Jono-Wolf)
    Whereas turning down Cambridge is definitely losing something
    Not always true.
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    (Original post by 04MR17)
    Not always true.
    True technically. You lose your opportunity to do an undergraduate degree at Cambridge. Definitely something that is tangible
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    (Original post by scottsmith)
    I been offered a place to study a 4 year Maths in Cambridge. However i just found out that the Masters i want to do you have to apply again after 3 years of the current course.

    So i am planning on going to Edinburgh Uni, do my bachelors then apply for master's in Cambridge. Thereby saving more than £36,000. Is that a responsible choice.
    Don't follow your girlfriend, do what's best for you. It's too soon to be thinking about this you've only been offered a conditional place I'm assuming?

    Accept Cambridge if you know you'll work hard and guarantee yourself a place after the 3rd year, if you're not feeling too risky or sure go for a guaranteed choice, that would be Edinburgh.
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    (Original post by Jono-Wolf)
    True technically. You lose your opportunity to do an undergraduate degree at Cambridge. Definitely something that is tangible
    Not if you were never going to get the grades in the first place.
 
 
 
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