As someone who has lost their mom, i feel that some people do take what they have for granted. However, i do feel that you could say that you feel like its the same convo over and over again, and talk to her by text (therefore its less broken) or even FT once or twice a week, if you do live close to home, try go back there once or twice a month, but if you live too far out then stick to the texting for facetime idea.(Original post by Anonymous)
In first year she would call me most nights but I was often busy and sometimes I'd purposefully miss her calls which is kind of bad. She would also text me essays about random sh*t.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
Hope this has helped
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My mum facetimes me every night at uni watch
- 06-02-2018 20:11
- Community Assistant
- 06-02-2018 20:21
Just subtly tell her that you're busy or have things planned etc. She's probably just lonely or missing you or some such.
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 06-02-2018 20:29
Thank you, you're so right. I was feeling quite bad about it but you're right, these aren't the kinds of memories I'd want to remember. She lives away from all her family so she's on the phone to her mum and some of her sisters every day. She's always been addicted to the phone. It's funny because sometimes she actually complains that her mum calls her all the time. But yeah I think she just sees this as the normal thing to do. Just makes me wonder what's going to happen when I properly move into my own place and have my own life and family. Is she going to be calling me every day? I do feel bad though because she obviously just isn't ready to let go and it must be hard for mums. I did actually once bring it up, back when I'd sometimes purposefully ignore her calls but then things went back to normal and she was calling every day again. She told me to text her that i'm ok and what I've been up to but often there isn't much to say. Apart from just a text saying 'I'm fine'. And then she'd just reply and ask to facetime anyway.
I'm happy to keep in contact every day via text, it's just facetime is quite full on.
- 06-02-2018 23:10
You're brave, I'd only pick up my mom's calls once every 3-4 weeks because I hate naggy behavior. To be honest you shouldn't feel bad for wanting your own space, and it's not like 3rd year isn't hard enough with all the work you already have to do. Just ask her to dial it down to a few days a week or w/e you're comfortable with so that you can live your life.
- 06-02-2018 23:24
I too have experience of the same situation except my Mum used to facetime twice or three times a week. If I were you, I would make it a point to discuss this matter with your mother. Tell her how you feel about being facetimed every night, both the positives and the drawbacks. Make it clear to her that she can facetime but perhaps not so regularly-perhaps agree on a selected day(s) and times to facetime. I'm sure there are other things you want to spend your night on. Your mother should understand that too as well as not facetiming her can allow you to relax.
- 06-02-2018 23:32
Parents can be clingy. I would say just rearrange a day where you always chat like Sunday morning rather than every night. You'll have more to talk about then anyways. Be causal about it though so you don't hurt her feelings. Just say youre busy studying