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    I have a massive problem with anxiety. I've never been diagnosed with it, but I've also never really told anyone about it. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a pretty nervous/shy person and a big worrier but I think it's a lot more than that. I overthink everything, literally everything, from sending a tweet on Twitter to after any random conversation that I have.

    But aside from general stuff, it most intensely manifests itself around exams and coursework. I know some anxiety is normal surrounding these things, but this is paralysing. At school, it was more manageable. I would always feel a sense of nervous dread at starting homework essays, so would procrastinate them until the night before. I think it all stems from obsessive perfectionism - if I don't start, I can't make mistakes...

    But when it came to real exams, things got a lot worse. But GCSEs/AS/A2s only came around once a year, so the unbearable, fierce, unrelenting anxiety only did too. I wouldn't sleep, I would throw up multiple times before every exam, and lose a stone or two in weight by the end of it all. I absolutely bombed my Oxford entrance exam but aside from that, I managed to do mostly pretty well - I was able to conceal this massive problem.

    So now I'm in second year at uni. First year was okay, it didn't count - I got a mix of 1sts and 2.1s, and ended up with a fairly high 2.1. Second year started brilliantly, I got the best grades I'd ever had in my first three assignments. I was still terrified, almost unable to breathe sometimes, thinking about the looming deadline, and procrastinating massively - our assignments are due at 12 pm. I'd always just about finish at 11.45, having been up most of the night, but just about managing. But those assignments were only worth less than half of the unit grade. So then when it came to the second, bigger assignments, the fear intensified, and with a higher word count, it was much more to do the night before. One was due before the end of term, I knew it was the worst essay I'd done. (In the end, I got a 65, which was less disastrous than I thought but still, at the time, my lowest grade so far).

    Then the holidays came, I was so disheartened by the essay I thought went disastrously, I couldn't face uni work, it made me feel sick to my stomach. I had an exam and an essay due the end of the first week of January. I tried and tried to settle down to work, but every time I tried... I just couldn't. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack every time. I also wouldn't go out, because I couldn't think about anything other than the work. But I ended up procrastinating so much that I didn't have time to revise and write the essay. I don't have the exam result back but it wasn't the best. As for my essay... I handed it in a week late, which meant a 10 mark penalty.
    Even then, I only wrote most of it from 4am before the 12pm deadline. This was the worst anxiety I'd ever felt in my life, it honestly felt like I was going to die. I ended up with a 68 (or 58, with the penalty). Now that I've got these lower grades, I feel like I've ruined my chance of getting a 1st in my degree. The anxiety won't stop. I can't sleep at night, I have no appetite. I wake up and my heart is already racing. I don't know what to do but this is ruining my life. So I have a meeting with my personal tutor tomorrow afternoon, but I don't know how to tell her this. Or how she'll respond. Does anyone have any advice/experience with this? x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a massive problem with anxiety. I've never been diagnosed with it, but I've also never really told anyone about it. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a pretty nervous/shy person and a big worrier but I think it's a lot more than that. I overthink everything, literally everything, from sending a tweet on Twitter to after any random conversation that I have.

    But aside from general stuff, it most intensely manifests itself around exams and coursework. I know some anxiety is normal surrounding these things, but this is paralysing. At school, it was more manageable. I would always feel a sense of nervous dread at starting homework essays, so would procrastinate them until the night before. I think it all stems from obsessive perfectionism - if I don't start, I can't make mistakes...

    But when it came to real exams, things got a lot worse. But GCSEs/AS/A2s only came around once a year, so the unbearable, fierce, unrelenting anxiety only did too. I wouldn't sleep, I would throw up multiple times before every exam, and lose a stone or two in weight by the end of it all. I absolutely bombed my Oxford entrance exam but aside from that, I managed to do mostly pretty well - I was able to conceal this massive problem.

    So now I'm in second year at uni. First year was okay, it didn't count - I got a mix of 1sts and 2.1s, and ended up with a fairly high 2.1. Second year started brilliantly, I got the best grades I'd ever had in my first three assignments. I was still terrified, almost unable to breathe sometimes, thinking about the looming deadline, and procrastinating massively - our assignments are due at 12 pm. I'd always just about finish at 11.45, having been up most of the night, but just about managing. But those assignments were only worth less than half of the unit grade. So then when it came to the second, bigger assignments, the fear intensified, and with a higher word count, it was much more to do the night before. One was due before the end of term, I knew it was the worst essay I'd done. (In the end, I got a 65, which was less disastrous than I thought but still, at the time, my lowest grade so far).

    Then the holidays came, I was so disheartened by the essay I thought went disastrously, I couldn't face uni work, it made me feel sick to my stomach. I had an exam and an essay due the end of the first week of January. I tried and tried to settle down to work, but every time I tried... I just couldn't. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack every time. I also wouldn't go out, because I couldn't think about anything other than the work. But I ended up procrastinating so much that I didn't have time to revise and write the essay. I don't have the exam result back but it wasn't the best. As for my essay... I handed it in a week late, which meant a 10 mark penalty.
    Even then, I only wrote most of it from 4am before the 12pm deadline. This was the worst anxiety I'd ever felt in my life, it honestly felt like I was going to die. I ended up with a 68 (or 58, with the penalty). Now that I've got these lower grades, I feel like I've ruined my chance of getting a 1st in my degree. The anxiety won't stop. I can't sleep at night, I have no appetite. I wake up and my heart is already racing. I don't know what to do but this is ruining my life. So I have a meeting with my personal tutor tomorrow afternoon, but I don't know how to tell her this. Or how she'll respond. Does anyone have any advice/experience with this? x
    Just print off what you have written in thus post and hand it to them. It explains it very well.

    She will be fine with it. You are obviously intelligent so you understand the anxiety distorts your perception about what might really happen in the real world and magnifies issues into much bigger ones, when they arent big at all.


    You should also be seeing your GP and welfare services plus there are charities like anxiety UK and no panic.
 
 
 
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