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Do looks matter in a relationship? watch

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    (Original post by claireogun)
    Should it be personality over looks or should looks be the main part?
    If you are gunning for an actual long-term committed relationship, then I would say that both are vitally important.

    Couples which are miss-matched in personality and lack any mutual interests etc, tend to bore of each other very quickly. It's important to have good communication in a relationship, but what communication can there be if neither party are interested in talking to each other? What harmony can there be if humour is not shared (and you find each others company very grating or dull)? Etc.

    On the other hand, having a satisfying sex life makes a couple much more well-bonded. And its very hard to have a satisfying life if you aren't actually actually sexually aroused by your other half!
    Many relationships suffer serious difficulties (even failing altogether) because of mismatched libidos or loss of sexual attraction placing too much strain on the relationship.

    Sexual arousal is physical and mental, but no matter how much the mental side is great, if there's no physical attraction, then there's no physical attraction (and its not something that can be satisfactorily replaced or faked). People are often attracted to each other initially by looks, but its personality (and various other factors, such as similar IQ levels) that really makes a relationship harmonious, prosper and last the trials of time.

    It is also very important (if not even more important) to look after yourself from a health point of view too. Many people only try to be healthier from a cosmetic perspective (and will sometimes even do very unhealthy things in a bid to look better externally), but maintaining good health also helps maintain a healthy happy relationship too. For example the last thing you want to have to worry about daily is the love of your life suffering from a heart attack, liver disease or dying of lung cancer etc because they just won't get their obesity/excess drinking habits/smoking sorted out (for themselves, their partner or their broader family).
    When you are in a relationship, you have to be considerate of what effect your choices have on your other half (and they need to be considerate of you too).

    (Original post by claireogun)
    my friends always say "you won't be walking down the street with their personality though" . I personally think it should be personality with looks as only a small part of it ......
    I think your friend is missing the point quite a lot. What your friend is saying is actually incredibly shallow; what matters most is not whether the majority of other people regard your partner as being really good looking, but whether YOU regard your partner as being attractive or not (and those can be two very different things!).

    What you find genuinely good looking will also pervade makeup or fashionable clothes etc. Its a genetic harmony, a genuine chemistry, that can't simply created alone by exterior efforts (although exterior efforts can certain improve exterior appeal). You also need to be able to have down time in a relationship (where you can just lounge around in your comfy clothes etc) and still know that your partner finds you attractive (knowing that they find you attractive with or without a high maintenance look etc).

    If all it took was good looks to make a relationship work, then why do so many good looking people get dumped all the time? Why are so many good looking people so hopelessly single?

    Because the reality is that when you actually look at happy couple's walking down the street (or one's you know in real life in general), most are not especial from societal beauty standards. But what has made things work for those couple's, is that they find each other attractive and they enjoy each other's company .
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    Would you date a butt-ugly guy? theres your answer

    It certainly shouldn't be the only thing you base your decision on but there needs to be mutual attraction between the two.
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    Should be personality, often it is looks.
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    of course they do, anyone who says no is a liar

    thats why most ugly people are still single
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    Looks are the bait, personality is the hook.

    The title refers specifically to relationships so that’s what I’m going by, you can be the best looking guy/girl in the world but if you have a sh**ty personality, or even if your personality isn’t compatible with your partners then the relationship isn’t going to last.

    So I’d say looks matter more at the very early stages of the relationship, then as time goes on you care less and less.
    • Study Helper
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    Study Helper
    Paper bags and switching the light off are an option.
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    When people say, 70% looks, 30% personality, what do they actually mean?

    Like for me, personality has to be 100% on point. No looks can ever deter me from a bad or less than amazing personality.

    And you have to have some sort of good looks too. But saying that, attractiveness doesn't always mean you're good looking. I've been very attracted to guys who other people thought were pretty unattractive, yet to me I just fancied them, no idea why.

    So for me, a mostly straight female, i'd say personality is the most important, but looks are definitely just as important and most important in the initial attraction.
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    (Original post by Perksy121)
    Dude that’s total BS, PUA is about getting phone numbers and picking up lots of women, it’s deception and tricks. The guys who do it are taught routines and buzzwords that are designed to affect women in a certain way. Strauss actually makes that quite clear. The part of that book that stuck with me most is towards the end when he admits that the downside of PUA is that the women almost always leave in the end, the effects wear off and they go back to looking for the real thing. I’m not trying to sound judgemental, I think a lot of people go through PUA phase at some point but don’t try and convince me that it’s about loving and respecting women.
    It aint what you do, it's the way that you do it.
    Gaming can be done well or not so well.

    Do you think it's BS, approaching people you find attractive instead of going round like a timid mouse that wouldn't say boo to a goose?
    Do you think it's BS to start a conversation with a stranger with an open ended question, instead of coming out with a cliche or Sid the Sexist type terrible chat up line joke?
    Do you think it's BS to make an effort to become better in bed?
    Do you think it's BS to have a "plenty fish in the sea" instead of a "oneitis" mentality?
    Do you think it's BS to treat beautiful women as equal human beings instead of putting them on a pedestal?
    • #3
    #3

    Looks are 90% personality 10% in terms of what matters. I'm not fussed about personality as long as the guy isn't a complete ****. I think most guys think the same. I mean if she's smokin and a nice girl what is there to complain about? That's both looks and personality ticked off
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    I mean going out with guy with pimples and greasy hair over a guy with sharp features and nice hair? Now that isnt a hard decision
    Imagine the future kids of either
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    It aint what you do, it's the way that you do it.
    Gaming can be done well or not so well.

    Do you think it's BS, approaching people you find attractive instead of going round like a timid mouse that wouldn't say boo to a goose?
    Do you think it's BS to start a conversation with a stranger with an open ended question, instead of coming out with a cliche or Sid the Sexist type terrible chat up line joke?
    Do you think it's BS to make an effort to become better in bed?
    Do you think it's BS to have a "plenty fish in the sea" instead of a "oneitis" mentality?
    Do you think it's BS to treat beautiful women as equal human beings instead of putting them on a pedestal?
    There’s a difference between the Pick Up Artistry that Strauss writes about and the basic fundamentals of meeting new people in public places. You’re missing out the games they teach, the stories they learn, the fact that they recruit new members by telling them they’ll be able to sleep with a super model a week for the rest of their lives. “The Game” is a dark book, it starts great but most of the main characters just slowly spiral into a pit of lonely despair, Strauss himself remains fairly conflicted and funnily enough, the girl he ended up with at the end of the book did not stick around!

    Nothing in your list is really pick up artistry, most of it is just being a decent human being.

    Also, geese are vicious man! I probably wouldn’t say boo to one!
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    to start a relationship yes. to maintain one, no.
    I disagree if u suddenly looked like quasimodo after a horrific and traumatic car accident, you're eventually gonna get dumbed...... doesn't matter how good the personality or the time you've spent together.

    Looks i think unfortunately matter till the end.
    • #4
    #4

    if you look for their looks then you will need to judge yourself. personality is more important after all you r not looking at their face all the time. there is no point in dating a good looking person with the worst personality. that's just pointless. u will get no where if u look at their looks all the time. i would say its 50:50 all the time. if looks matter then would u divorce your future husband or wife if their face changed for whatever reason like an accident or something?? think realistically pls.
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    It depends, I think so they do matter but at the same time it's not the most important thing.
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    To be honest you actually grow to find them more and more attractive as the relationship progresses.
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    (Original post by cman123)
    I disagree if u suddenly looked like quasimodo after a horrific and traumatic car accident, you're eventually gonna get dumbed...... doesn't matter how good the personality or the time you've spent together.

    Looks i think unfortunately matter till the end.
    if youre the kinda person to dump someone you before had fallen in love with because they got injured then that's you
    • #3
    #3

    Idm about the injury thing cos at the end of the day if I mate with a good looking guy his genes are gonna get passed down not his injuries lol
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    Looks are what initially attracted me to my partner, but now it doesn't matter to me. I love everything about him, including how he looks, but I would still love him even if he looked differently
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    if youre the kinda person to dump someone you before had fallen in love with because they got injured then that's you
    Love does not last very long usually only a year to a year and a half after going out with someone since that's when most of the oxytocin get's released.

    After that you're gonna have to keep that spark in the relationship, a part of that is your looks, and if you don't guess what it's not gonna work and someone is gonna get dumped.

    It's going to be very difficult for someone to stay together if u are no longer physically attracted to the perosn or even repulsed by him/her.

    Nobody likes to admit it but it's the truth. Love for many people is only skin deep (or as deep as the pockets), and if their physical attraction outweighes the feelings/time they've spend together well that's that over.

    As for me i'd like to think i'm not that shallow but over time i (like most people) i would feel like i'd be burdened by the lack of physical attraction, and would feel like i'm wasting my time with someone like this eventhough we've had a lot of history. I'm still young and could easily makes many more beautiful memories with someone i'm also attracted to.

    Hey life's not fair, it's actually very ****ed up, i only know this because i've seen it happen to too many good people. The people who did the dumping aren't monsters (in general) but there's only so far personality and history can possibly go.

    Let me ask you this, if the love of your life got a sex change would you stay with them?

    Or maybe she/he got into an accident and was paralyzed and needed help with everything 24/7, u couldn't have sex the communication between you two would be very difficult since she/he could only blink. You being the age you are, are you happy with being in this relationship for the rest of your life??

    Or would you over time, leave her/him since your life would be too difficult or burdensome, due to your partner's very unfortunate very, unlucky injury?
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    (Original post by CGSW)
    Looks are what initially attracted me to my partner, but now it doesn't matter to me. I love everything about him, including how he looks, but I would still love him even if he looked differently
    Okay now be honest if he ended up looking like this:https://i.ytimg.com/vi/l_S4BdzuELQ/hqdefault.jpg

    would you still stay with him for long??
 
 
 
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