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    (Original post by BrownSkinLad)
    Your comment describes you well.....You probably are even a bigger Drama lol
    Don't u know it
    Now 'tis rude to hold a convo on someone elses blog
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    I have enough of trolls and people wanting to degrade others. First of all, this is MY blog so I do whatever the hell I want, 2nd of all you don't have to read this, i made just to be able to express myself better and plan ahead on what I want to do + rant. Just to help me, causes anyone any problems? Certainly not.
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    1. Start assignment on the day you get it and slowly do it, rather than cramming.
    Didnt manage anything today :sigh: But yesterday I did my bio essay which was due in today, bio write up which is due in tomorrow and some M1 revision. It didn't feel like a lot but when I put it like it does
    I have to do a chemistry catalyst question for tomorrow but I don't care, I cant concentrate on that crappy stuff anymore

    2. Don't procrastinate on TSR
    I haven't at all today!! Can you believe this? :woo: I deserve some chocolate yep. Omg my brother ate half of the limdt swiss luxury selection chocolate and I only got ONE! EUH I HATE HIM for always eating my part :mad2:

    3. Sleep before 1am. Wake up at 7:15am
    I slept at 3 last night :mmm:
    Woke up at 7:45 missed fajr :ashamed:

    4. Read namaz
    Yesterday :
    Fajr - done
    Zohar - missed (school)
    Asar - done
    Magrib - done
    Isha - missed

    Today:
    Fair - missed (woke up too late)
    Zohar - missed (school)
    Asar - missed (laziness)
    Magrib - missed (idk - i guess i felt like there was no point reading this one when i havent read the previous one :facepalm:)
    Isha - missed

    Bad about this. Very bad but I feel as though I don't have the energy

    5. Stop planning revision
    I put stuff in my diary :mmm:
    #fail

    6. Dont beat yourself over not achieving these aims, the tiniest thing should be seen as an achievement
    No achievement today. Except the fact that I enjoyed school and talked to my friends and we laughed and ran and got drenched in the rain and snow :lol: and got to have a hug :love:
    But as soon as I get home everything just diesssss

    I remembered to put my retainers in last night but my teeth now kill me. Hurt. So. So. So. So. Bad! And I'm bout to put them back in ufff

    Have been packing bags to go to France! :ahee: excited for a change but hopefully all goes well inshallah x
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    Oh had a driving lesson today and for some reason i kept stalling. At the end she mentioned if i had the same shoes, i said yh but then realised no they are different, these ones had an inch heel and the others didn't do at least i know it could be that :hmmmm2:

    Routes i hate me for living in the area for so long and not knowing where to go, or where i am. She will randomly ask me if i know where i am and I'll say no i am clueless and she'll laugh a bit. I feel so dumb and stupid.
    Still slight confusion with my left and right, it's frustrating...
    I feel so behind ngl, my brother can drive quiet good and i cant. I feel like im going slow with her.
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    Goodnight! I'm exhausted and sleepy. So really bedtime to make up for yesterday :lol:
    :hi:
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    I'm feeling like there is hope. I can go out little by little, socialise more, outside of school Insha'Allah I pray to my Lord that everything gets better
    I may not know how to ask, or what to ask for but he knows best,
    He knows me, my heart, my mind and my brain
    Why would he not, he is the creator.
    The creator of this i entire universe
    Everything happens for a reason and for the best
    We just don't know because it's sometimes too complex to explain
    Sometimes I figure it out but for things that I really can't understand, ya allah give me strength to accept and be grateful as it if it was a gift, as if you just saved me from something or gave me a lesson.
    Only then will I be happy
    Happiness doesn't come from materialistic things,
    It comes from realising what you have and what others don't have that you have.
    It comes when you don't care what others think,
    It comes when you bring a smile on someone's face,
    Get rid of toxic people,
    Know that Allah is enough for you,
    Look ahead, far ahead to your destination.
    Life isn't your destination,
    Happiness isn't your destination either,
    So is it heaven? Hell no, it's more than that,
    What's more beautiful than seeing your prophet, the prophet you have strived to follow for so long,
    With your naked eye?
    What's better than meeting your Lord and his prophet?
    To get to that destination my love, you gotta get through obstacles,
    So don't get lost in the pains,
    Know that this pain will one day be your cure
    Because for every struggle you go through,
    Your sins get washed away
    be thankful to your Lord that he has given you a chance to cleanse yourself,
    A chance to meet his precious beloved prophet,
    And Him the creator
    I am so thankful to you, even my heart can't express it but you know Ya Rab, you know it all.
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    Busy busy!! Going France tomorrow morning :ahee: exhausted but it's so exciting I probably won't even sleep :lol:
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    Arrived and slept a night :woo:
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    Coming back today technically now :cry2: i don't want to mama, we have so many friends here who you can talk to, who i can really to, i had so much freedom here, so much love, support and hugs. They have its everything, didn't look at how poor of rich they were, they paid for everything eventhough they had to fight is (lol) and made you run so much so that you don't pay. It's funny but too nice.
    And then back in uk...
    Same old stuff
    No one to talk to
    No one's shoulder to cry on
    No one to go out with
    No light in the house
    No fresh air
    Suffocate
    Depression
    I'm already crying thinking of all this
    Mama can i stay?
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    Worried, sad, stressed.
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    It's really heartbreaking leaving someone. Someone you love, someone who gave you hope. Someone who opened up to you and vice versa. Someone who made you laugh for so long, so gave away their time for you.
    Then you suddenly have to leave, hoping to meet again but will we really? Can we decide to?
    So far, yet so close. This. Exactly this aaaah
    Miss you all already
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    Dear A,
    I know you're struggle. We may not be going through the same thing, but i can assure I get you to a certain extent at least. Idk why he does this, I know why mine does, but yours? Maybe he doesn't control it?
    Mine wanted us to be perfect and he went to the extreme to do that, but yours put you down, never expected anything from you other than shame and that really put you down. Your have no self confidence because of him. Right? You've gained so much weight, yet your don't eat anything. You hate it that you get watched at the table by him, dont you? It kills i can only imagine. But it's not because you eat too much, it's because of all the stress. Trust me..
    Some people lose weight, other 'gain'. It's just that gaining weight is associated more to eating too much.
    Idk how to help you from so far, idk what to do.
    I really hope you and your husband get permission to move into your own house, so that he can know what responsibilities he has. Don't worry, you'll find your way inshallah, i pray :cry2: one day your dad will be by your side and that is all you need to have the courage to overcome everything, as you said.

    Prend soin ma chérie x

    Dear sister of A,
    I know you have to watch it all, that's as hard as taking it all because your cant do anything. You have so much patience, you take everything that A says, she gets angry because she is stressed and although you know she can be wrong, you respect her and don't flip back at her. I know it's hard, but it's rewarding too. Allah is watching and now i know too, you gave me hope :hugs:

    Love you :love:

    Dear mum of A,
    I'm sorry your son had left you in this condition. I'm sorry your daughter in law betrayed you. I'm sorry you got both of your grandson taken away from you. I'm sorry you have to see them suffering everyday from missing you, their daady. I'm sorry your husband doesn't always stay by your side... I'm sorry my mum can't be their with you all the time, I'm sorry I'm not there for your daughters either. You think all your children are suffering, but inshallah one day everything will work itself out because everything has a reason. We may not see it, but there is always one, it's just that sometimes it hurts, and that's what's happened to you :yes: be patient. I hope your son realised what he did
    He is destroying his Jannah
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    My cough won't go away it's annoying urgh
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    I ask myself, do I make myself depressed? And sometimes the answer is yes... i feel like I'm ungrateful, I think of what others have and I don't have - and that makes me upset. I stick to one thing that I don't like and get sad over it instead of getting used to it. Idk, it's like one thing gets me down and if that thing doesn't change then I'll never be happy :/ but there are things that won't change, that means I'll never be happy. So I need to start liking those things and idk how
    I want to cry but can't
    Want to do work, finish house work. Want everything clean but it seems so far.
    Why is it easier to do housework in someone else's house? :hmmmmm2:
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    If only pakistani culture could disappear. Well some of it..
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    (Original post by LunaCat)
    If only pakistani culture could disappear. Well some of it..
    I forget you're Pakistani :lol: I wonder if it's much different to Indian culture
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    (Original post by starfab)
    I forget you're Pakistani :lol: I wonder if it's much different to Indian culture
    I don't think so xD
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    Feel like i need a new beginning but how?
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    I don't know why I am hating everyone. I don't hate them but I do, dunno how to explain. I love-hate everyone right now.
    Feeling sick
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    If you have insta, I'd advice you to follow Mak__10 he is so motivating!
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