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Depression and disturbing ideation watch

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    So I have depression, had it for years, comes and goes every 10 months or so. Against all recommendations it often left completely untreated, ignored and eventually life starts to pick up. Just a smallish blip of a few bad months.

    However I have this horrible feeling that this bout is becoming the perfect storm. The culmination of too many years left untreated. My mind is a particularly confusing place to be, which is why I expect this to read quite poorly. I have a seriously frustrating case because I know that depression is causing it all but I'm way out of my depth to be dealing with it on my own. Some of my thoughts and rationalisations are genuinely disturbing me, but I know they are only party mine. It just becomes tiring to constantly have to keep your mind in check.

    I do SH but very rarely, twice last year. I don't plan on starting again.

    I have tried opening up to someone close to me and it has been kind of brushed under the carpet because I am seasoned at hiding my true emotions. If they saw the real me they would probably pity me and that not what I want which is one of the main reason I don't say anything really. I also have no idea how you are supposed to drop that bombshell on people. "Oh btw I have depression and I scare myself" I just don't understand how it is done.
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    Even if it comes and goes, go to your GP. Also look into counselling - this could be done via the GP but there will likely be a waiting list, unless you can afford to do it privately (which, if you can, would be very worth it).
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Paralove)
    Even if it comes and goes, go to your GP. Also look into counselling - this could be done via the GP but there will likely be a waiting list, unless you can afford to do it privately (which, if you can, would be very worth it).
    I'm not registered to a GP locally so I can't actually get access to anything really. I only recently moved here and never thought I might need a doctor because I almost never seem them or they have been completely useless and misdiagnosed things that would have helpful to know years in advance. But that's what you pay for.

    I can't afford private and I don't have medical cover anymore so that will have to be ruled out. I am at the mercy of the NHS.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not registered to a GP locally so I can't actually get access to anything really. I only recently moved here and never thought I might need a doctor because I almost never seem them or they have been completely useless and misdiagnosed things that would have helpful to know years in advance. But that's what you pay for.

    I can't afford private and I don't have medical cover anymore so that will have to be ruled out. I am at the mercy of the NHS.
    Then register - it's pretty straightforward. And once done, make an appointment.

    (Also, even if you aren't registered you can make appts as a temporary patient - you're not banned from accessing a GP).
    • #2
    #2

    Ok firstly the doctors is out of the question cause in my opinion they are a waste of time. I deal with extremely similar depression to yours, and I know this sounds stupid but I cope with watching gameplays from this particular dude on youtube.
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCER...hmqEXBsnYFNTIA
    I'll leave the playlists that help me cope.
    1)
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...az-mf4YcAR2wPt
    2)
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...Gt7eqwIDfsa3bG
    3)
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis..._U-umHRF3DJZBl

    Alright if these don't work for youu then your in too deep and you'll have to watch anime, nah I'm kidding although anime is a damn good cure too I think at that point your gonna want to come to terms with your emotions whether that be by self-harm or whatever it's *****y I know but I don't expect you to do such things a person such as yourself at that point should definitely seek medical attention. Hope this helps.
 
 
 
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