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Social anxiety and avoidance dilemma watch

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    • Thread Starter
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    So I suffer from really bad anxiety/social anxiety etc.

    I know that avoidance makes social anxiety worse... BUT I've wasted a lot of time in my life with the wrong types of people just to "stick it out" and gotten more confident, but still been miserable instead of trying to look for more like-minded people.

    I've started jobs where I've had social anxiety, but if I think there are some decent people there/I like the job I'll stick it out.

    I started a new job recently that is OK, I like it, but I know I could easily get a similar one.

    I had had a really bad bout of anxiety before I started so I didn't make a great first impression, but I stuck it out and tried to be as friendly/social thereon after.

    I quickly realised that it wasn't just me... my co-workers are really ****y people.

    I couldn't come to one of their events after work (not my fault, genuinely clashed with an exam) and they were massively rude/insulting to me for it. One of them was like: "If you're not prepared to come out with us, why do you even wanna be here?" I was like: wtf? It's one event! I went to the previous one.

    Even if I didn't have soc anx, I wouldn't like them, their attitude to the job is really bad. I'm a proper grafter and liked by the customers and they celebrate how little work they do and are not even particularly polite to the customers. I know if I stick it out and even if I get less anxious I'll still be miserable around them.

    I've been offered another job in the same field... and part of me is like:

    "YES! GO FOR IT!"

    But the other part is: avoidance makes soc anx worse in the long-term. I want to STICK IT OUT for my wellness. But I also really don't like the people.

    Any advice?
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    If you don't like the people you work with and they're not keen on you then I think it's not really avoidance to get a different job. You may find the people in the new job way better to work with. You spend like what 40 hours a week with these people, it they're making you feel miserable for not being able to make every event and they're rude and lazy then do you really want to be around them? I think that would make your anxiety worse rather than better by "sticking it out".
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    If you don't like the people you work with and they're not keen on you then I think it's not really avoidance to get a different job. You may find the people in the new job way better to work with. You spend like what 40 hours a week with these people, it they're making you feel miserable for not being able to make every event and they're rude and lazy then do you really want to be around them? I think that would make your anxiety worse rather than better by "sticking it out".
    That's a really good point. I'm coming round to the idea that it may be better to take the new job. Avoiding situations which would otherwise be beneficial is detrimental - but I can't see how this would be beneficial.
 
 
 
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