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So scared about losing my virginity
Please, please keep this anonymous...please?
I'm in my first serious relationship with my boyfriend at the moment, we've been going out properly, I would say, for about a month (got together a bit before that but we didn't see each other for a while). I really like him, and he's really into me, but I've told him I'm a virgin and I don't want to rush things.
Thing is, I'm 19, so I feel as if I shouldn't be, you know, so scared about it because it's high time it happened, and he's a bit older and a bit more experienced, and I just feel...so scared about the inevitable. I mean, he's in no way pressurizing me, we're touching each other and stuff but he's never rushed me. I feel as if the moment he does something I don't like, I can tell him not to and it'll be okay. But I think I will want to have sex with him soon, not yet, but in a little while, and I'm terrified. Because I haven't done it before. The main thing I'm worried about is that it'll hurt. I'm a bit of a wimp! And the second thing is that I'm worried he'll think I'm rubbish.
So please, reassure me? Girls, did your first time hurt? For those who lost their virginity in serious relationships, how long did you wait before you had sex for the first time?
Thanks for any advice!
I'm in my first serious relationship with my boyfriend at the moment, we've been going out properly, I would say, for about a month (got together a bit before that but we didn't see each other for a while). I really like him, and he's really into me, but I've told him I'm a virgin and I don't want to rush things.
Thing is, I'm 19, so I feel as if I shouldn't be, you know, so scared about it because it's high time it happened, and he's a bit older and a bit more experienced, and I just feel...so scared about the inevitable. I mean, he's in no way pressurizing me, we're touching each other and stuff but he's never rushed me. I feel as if the moment he does something I don't like, I can tell him not to and it'll be okay. But I think I will want to have sex with him soon, not yet, but in a little while, and I'm terrified. Because I haven't done it before. The main thing I'm worried about is that it'll hurt. I'm a bit of a wimp! And the second thing is that I'm worried he'll think I'm rubbish.
So please, reassure me? Girls, did your first time hurt? For those who lost their virginity in serious relationships, how long did you wait before you had sex for the first time?
Thanks for any advice!
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It doesn't hurt every girl. You might have already broken your hymen, so it won't be as painful.
It sounds like your boyfriend is respecting your wishes etc. Have sex when you feel ready. Make sure he takes it slow, use lube etc. He knows you are a virgin and hopefully he will be considerate of that fact.
He won't think you are rubbish! I'm sure he'll just be really happy to be having sex with you to be honest. Plus the first time, so what if you aren't the most adventurous in bed?! He will know that it's your first time and are therefore unfamiliar with the whole sex thing.
Try not to worry, yes it might hurt, but it might not. Personally, I waited about 3/4 months, and it didn't hurt me at all. I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't.
It sounds like your boyfriend is respecting your wishes etc. Have sex when you feel ready. Make sure he takes it slow, use lube etc. He knows you are a virgin and hopefully he will be considerate of that fact.
He won't think you are rubbish! I'm sure he'll just be really happy to be having sex with you to be honest. Plus the first time, so what if you aren't the most adventurous in bed?! He will know that it's your first time and are therefore unfamiliar with the whole sex thing.
Try not to worry, yes it might hurt, but it might not. Personally, I waited about 3/4 months, and it didn't hurt me at all. I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't.
Don't worry about the pain, the nervousness outweighs it! So after it's in, it's all gravy.
It did hurt for me, but I too am a total wimp!
To be honest the pain wasn't the issue at all, when you're in that moment and it's happening, it's all about being with that person and how cool it is that you trust them enough to let them take your virginity! It's ****in sweet!
And the pain isn't unbearable anyway. I say enjoy it! You only get to lose your virginity once
To be honest the pain wasn't the issue at all, when you're in that moment and it's happening, it's all about being with that person and how cool it is that you trust them enough to let them take your virginity! It's ****in sweet!
And the pain isn't unbearable anyway. I say enjoy it! You only get to lose your virginity once
Hurt a bit. quite a bit. but soon forgotten. gets ALOT better.
ermm...
first r-ship. been together like a year and a half or something.but i was very young when we got together like 14. so we waited until 16- sort of out of anticipation rather than the law. both virgins. he was quite a bit older than me. no regrets.
second- 5 months?. we were both 18 (still are) and still together. he was a virgin.
ermm...
first r-ship. been together like a year and a half or something.but i was very young when we got together like 14. so we waited until 16- sort of out of anticipation rather than the law. both virgins. he was quite a bit older than me. no regrets.
second- 5 months?. we were both 18 (still are) and still together. he was a virgin.
I can almost guarantee that the more you worry about it hurting, the more it will hurt. It needn't be a horrible experience - in fact it can and should be quite enjoyable!
If you're already doing other sexual stuff, then by the time you actually have sex you'll know what does it for him and what doesn't, and it's kinda obvious what you have to do when it actually gets to the sex part. It sounds like you've got a decent guy, so just enjoy what you're doing with him and don't worry about him thinking you're rubbish, because he almost certainly doesn't if you're both having fun!
Oh, and to answer your final questions, I lost my virginity when I was 20, we'd been together just under 3 months. It hurt a bit, though I didn't have a hymen to contest with, but it wasn't a bad experience in any way.
If you're already doing other sexual stuff, then by the time you actually have sex you'll know what does it for him and what doesn't, and it's kinda obvious what you have to do when it actually gets to the sex part. It sounds like you've got a decent guy, so just enjoy what you're doing with him and don't worry about him thinking you're rubbish, because he almost certainly doesn't if you're both having fun!
Oh, and to answer your final questions, I lost my virginity when I was 20, we'd been together just under 3 months. It hurt a bit, though I didn't have a hymen to contest with, but it wasn't a bad experience in any way.
My first time didn't hurt much at all. And it's weird because he was quite BIG. Just do alot of foreplay before, get yourself wet enough and just make sure youre comfortable! We were really 'in the moment' so it was good. It gets better tho trust me. And choose your position carefully and as he knows youre a virgin he'll b quite gentle. Just stick it to missionary for now but I found that uncomfortable (on my thighs!) so we did it as legs over shoulders and it was great! But everybody is different and I know of girls who have bled before but they just were too nervous and not wet enough.
I lost my virginity to a guy i was 'seeing' for about a month but it just felt right and I dnt regret it. Its actually a relief to get ur first time over and done with coz it can only get better!
I lost my virginity to a guy i was 'seeing' for about a month but it just felt right and I dnt regret it. Its actually a relief to get ur first time over and done with coz it can only get better!
I'm also fairly worried too. I just seem to think that I'll get the girl pregnant even with protection! I've just heard to many horror stories to be honest like things going wrong, condoms splitting etc etc. Thats the only worry I have really, not too bothered whether they think im crap or not, theres always room for improvement lol
Anonymous
First of all never feel like you should do it, or shouldn't be scared simply because of your age: many people wait much longer than that. It's about whether you feel ready and want to do it nothing else is important.
The main thing I'm worried about is that it'll hurt. I'm a bit of a wimp! And the second thing is that I'm worried he'll think I'm rubbish.
This is where it's really important that you're comfortable with him before you do it. Yes, it can hurt, but for some people it doesn't, but I'm guessing given your fear you're assuming that you won't be lucky in that department. First of all, you may well be, especially if you have (or he has) explored with hands first. However, if it does hurt it's really not a pain to be worried about: you are in control and can stop at any time or take it very slowly if things are difficult. Hence the need to be comfortable with him: before deciding to have sex make sure you've done enough with him beforehand so that you're absolutely comfortable with saying stop or stay still if it's hurting you or taking a short break etc. So even if it does hurt I can tell you it's not that bad because you are in control of the pain: either you go on top and control the penetration, stop still if it gets a bit sore and do it gently; or he can do the pushing listening to what you say and adjusting accordingly. Honestly, it might hurt but because you can stop it at any moment and go very gently it's not a problem, if it doesn't work first time, try again another day.
The key thing is to try to relax (trying is perhaps the hardest way to successfully relax!) but the more relaxed you are the less likely it is to hurt. Try deliberately tensing the muscles then relaxing.
stryker101
what? who uses lube these days anyway? 
he wouldnt think that ur rubbish anyway cos its actually pretty hard for a girl to be bad at sex! if you are nervous or it doesnt feel natural, just let him get busy and you enjoy, and sigh when its over, dont say anything really odd like my ex, and then do it lots, lots more.
couple of months in, and im a guy.
he wouldnt think that ur rubbish anyway cos its actually pretty hard for a girl to be bad at sex! if you are nervous or it doesnt feel natural, just let him get busy and you enjoy, and sigh when its over, dont say anything really odd like my ex, and then do it lots, lots more
.couple of months in, and im a guy.
out of curiousity, wot did your ex say!?!?!
Subterranean Homesick Alien
What a delightful turn of phrase.
Well, I try!
I'm totally the same but without the bf, this thread has helped though, thanks,
just have to wait for the right guy to come along...
just have to wait for the right guy to come along...
Anonymous
I'm also fairly worried too. I just seem to think that I'll get the girl pregnant even with protection!
This is a difficult one to overcome, but it can be done. From a female perspective one has the advantage that one can personally take the pill so doesn't have to ask someone else to do it. However, when you do get in to that situation talk to your girlfriend about going on the pill for extra protection, if you use that plus condoms it feels much more secure. I know it can still feel scary even then, but you just have to wait until you feel the benefit outweighs the risk. The only other thing I can offer on this topic is that it does feel much more secure once one has done it too, than simply the thought of what might be.
In the meantime there are plenty of other fun things you can do instead. It might help to get some condoms just to have a play with, stretch them try to break them, subject them to similar forces to those they'll experience during sex. It won't remove the fear, but seeing that they do actually work will be a useful step in the right direction
.I lost my virginity the other day but think my hymen was already broken so that didn't hurt, him not being able to push it in did hurt however.
It wasn't like a bad pain, it reminded me of something like the feeling when you get pins and needles and it hurts so much that you start hysterically laughing.
Well it didn't feel like pins and needles lol but I did get that fit of hysterical laughter thing. Maybe that's just me. Personally I found it just a bit of an uncomfortable pain.
We had to try 3 times, eventually on the 3rd time using lube and it worked fine.
The above poster somewhere is right, once it's in, everything's fine.
It wasn't like a bad pain, it reminded me of something like the feeling when you get pins and needles and it hurts so much that you start hysterically laughing.
Well it didn't feel like pins and needles lol but I did get that fit of hysterical laughter thing. Maybe that's just me. Personally I found it just a bit of an uncomfortable pain.
We had to try 3 times, eventually on the 3rd time using lube and it worked fine
.The above poster somewhere is right, once it's in, everything's fine.
It did hurt me quite a bit but it's not excruciating
It was fine after like a minute.
And only the first few seconds are bad.
You could be fine though. Loads of people i know said it didnt hurt them at all.
Honestly its not worth worrying about.
It was fine after like a minute.
And only the first few seconds are bad.
You could be fine though. Loads of people i know said it didnt hurt them at all.
Honestly its not worth worrying about
.
Wait - are we talking kissing virginity, or... sex?
The Macabre Vincent Price...
Wait - are we talking kissing virginity, or... sex?
pmsl, beautiful comment!
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