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I can't get into a relationship because... HELP! watch

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    #1

    For the last eight years in my life I have not been in a relationship once because I'm so worried over my body image and how it would affect my relationship. I'm typically a size 10/12 and even though I know that's not bad I tend to compare myself to others and so I feel disgusted with myself which has led me to turn down many guys because I'm scared that they'll start to date me but lose interest. I need help because I really want to get into a relationship with someone because I'm kind of lonely but I just have this voice in the back of my head that says "you're not skinny enough" or "he won't like you in your underwear".
    Please help me by giving me tips and suggestions!
    • #2
    #2

    I know how you feel about your image but you shouldn't let your fears take over you. I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you for you, try not to dwell on it too much.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the last eight years in my life I have not been in a relationship once because I'm so worried over my body image and how it would affect my relationship. I'm typically a size 10/12 and even though I know that's not bad I tend to compare myself to others and so I feel disgusted with myself which has led me to turn down many guys because I'm scared that they'll start to date me but lose interest. I need help because I really want to get into a relationship with someone because I'm kind of lonely but I just have this voice in the back of my head that says "you're not skinny enough" or "he won't like you in your underwear".
    Please help me by giving me tips and suggestions!
    You gain confidence by doing the things you enjoy and embracing yourself for who you are. In the same way as how you'll accept a future partner for their flaws, a person will do the same for you. You are not other people, you are you and there will be people who will love you that way.

    Maybe take up new hobbies. If you are concerned about your body, perhaps go to the gym or take up a sport?
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    I am a size 10-12 (closer to 12) and love my body and my husband says it’s the best he’s ever seen. You need to tell yourself you are beautiful and believe it too, there is no shame in a bit of self confidence.
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    • #3
    #3

    don't think guys care about abs and thigh gaps, they just want tits and arse

    take this with a pinch of salt but there was a survey a while back
    'The largest majority - 38.8 per cent of guys - looked for an 'average' dress size of 12 to 14 in their perfect woman, with only 10 per cent looking for a size 6 to 8.
    Women with a 'curvy' dress size of 14 to 18 came in as the second most popular size - proof indeed that while magazines fill their pages with skinny models, UK males actually prefer a more rounded build'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz56QAQU6tA
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    Maybe in that Daily Mail survey some of the men thought they'd come over as too shallow if they said they prefered size 8's?

    I also think that height is a contributing factor.

    Size 10 and 5' 7" is beautiful.
    4' 10" and size 12 is less attractive.


    Anyway, size 10 to 12 is still a long way from being clinically obese. The OP's body shape is good enough for her to be attractive enough for any man worth having. And if you're sexy / enthusiastic / skilled in bed that's far more important than looking like a Victorias model in your underwear.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the last eight years in my life I have not been in a relationship once because I'm so worried over my body image and how it would affect my relationship. I'm typically a size 10/12 and even though I know that's not bad I tend to compare myself to others and so I feel disgusted with myself which has led me to turn down many guys because I'm scared that they'll start to date me but lose interest. I need help because I really want to get into a relationship with someone because I'm kind of lonely but I just have this voice in the back of my head that says "you're not skinny enough" or "he won't like you in your underwear".
    Please help me by giving me tips and suggestions!
    Honey, guys will care more that they're seeing a girl in her underwear than what exactly it looks like. And for the right guy you'll look perfect.

    I'm around size 16 although my weight can vary from 14 to 18. My boyfriend loves how I look naked. And I also get acne on my back and slightly acne on my upper chest. I thought all the fat and pimples on top would turn anyone off but it never did.
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    I think you should seriously look into your relationship with you body image, maybe see a therapist? The way it has affected your life isn’t normal or healthy. It’s easy to say “love yourself” or “you’re perfect the way you are” but much more difficult to actually feel it.

    I know because I have these feelings too, it’s awful to look at yourself and feel disgust, ashamed and want to hide your body from the world forever. You deserve a life without insecurities that hold you back.

    Some links to things that might be able to help you:
    https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-ab...ues/body-image
    https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
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    I’m a size 16, curvy and with quite a lot of tummy squish. I have a boyfriend, and he doesn’t care. My previous boyfriend didn’t care either. I wouldn’t worry about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the last eight years in my life I have not been in a relationship once because I'm so worried over my body image and how it would affect my relationship. I'm typically a size 10/12 and even though I know that's not bad I tend to compare myself to others and so I feel disgusted with myself which has led me to turn down many guys because I'm scared that they'll start to date me but lose interest. I need help because I really want to get into a relationship with someone because I'm kind of lonely but I just have this voice in the back of my head that says "you're not skinny enough" or "he won't like you in your underwear".
    Please help me by giving me tips and suggestions!
    I would not care if my girlfriend was size 10 or 12

    I agree with comments above, if you really feel that conscious maybe speak to a therapist/doctor. But also talk to yourself about it, or others about it, especially guys. Genuinely it would not bother me a dot. Feel free to ask me any questions if you will find that helps you convince yourself.
    • #4
    #4

    do you exercise? exercise daily, it will give you a boost. also give yourself a makeover everyday, make sure every part of you is polished. good hair, good clothes, good teeth and nails, nice shoes, smell nice and apply nice make up. nothing gives me more confidence than that
    • #5
    #5

    I'm a size 6 and I feel the same. I know a lot of girls would love to be this size but it's really not that great and many guys prefer 'thicker' women these days. Petite thin girls like me are becoming out of fashion... plus I think we should try embrace ourselves a bit more xx 😘 Your size is lovely!! This coming from a skinny gal
    • #3
    #3

    10-12 isn't even big, i'd say the majority of my friends are that size and they're still considered slim. One is 12-14, pretty average facially but has absolutely no problem getting guys, I can't imagine her figure ever being an issue. Granted she has great tits.
    So many guys love kim k, kate upton, kelly brook, nigella lawson. Even people like beyonce aren't a size 8. Yes some guys prefer a more slender figure but there are also a tonne of guys including many of my friends that like a bit more curviness
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    First off there’s nothing wrong with your body, every persons body is different and perfect in its own way. If it helps I actually prefer dating bigger girls! You need to speak to your GP about this, they’ll definitely refer you to a specialist in which you can get some help. I actually know a mental health campaigner Daniel Bowmen from school who suffered from a similar health anxiety when I knew him. Your not alone!
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    look I'm a kind of average guy with abs (just letting you know I'm a normal looking guy) and I never got a gf in my life. I want one but I'm not desperate. so you shouldn't look at yourself as disgusting because you are a 10/12 look there is a guy that is looking for someone just like you and he will come or he is just afraid to ask that he hangs around you a lot. you may never know unless you try.
 
 
 
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