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    • Thread Starter

    I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 16 and we've been going out for quite a while. Some things I've noticed about my boyfriend is that he's not very protective, I would say I'm more protective over him though he doesn't want me to be. He does get jealous but not as often as me.
    Anyway the other day was very scary for me, I was followed home by an older man of about 20-24 who started trying to speak to me on his bike and asking if I wanted to be his gf, he then rode ahead and waited for me in an alley. When I passed the alleyway he was trying to get me to come down the alleyway and was off of his bike standing there , beckoning to me and we were all alone, and at this point I freaked out and walked fast even though he was still following me and saw me go into my house. My mum phoned the police.

    When I told my boyfriend about it he said it was creepy but then said he was surprised I hadn't gone down the alleyway because he said that I "loved ****", like I get that it's a joke and we are a very jokey couple but this kinda bothered me it was like he was implying I'm a slut or something. And then he said stuff like I'd have deserved to have been raped if I had been stupid enough to go down the alley. I know these are jokes but they're quite aggressive jokes, not funny. He's not very lovey dovey (only sometimes) and his jokes can be quite harsh, he usually calls me an idiot or a dummy, sometimes calls me a ***** as a joke when bantering around.

    But I feel like there's some suppressed aggression behind the jokes for some reason, am I overreacting or should I be alarmed.

    I seriously think you need to be careful here.

    Joking or not, what he said was absolutely disgusting and is absolutely not tolerated.

    I think you should be alarmed and get rid of this disgusting human being out of your life.

    From what you said, he should not even be given a chance at all.

    Please talk to your friends and family and see what they say but do not put yourself in a dangerous situation.

    Hi there.
    I think you need to take a step back and look at your relationship. What he said to you was out of order. Whether he meant it as a joke or not. Topics like that are no joke.
    Hidden aggression that you are picking up on is always a worry. His aggression could become less hidden so I think you need to tell friends and family what he is like and see what they think as they will be able to give you advice too.
    Personally I would tell him that you don't like the way he is speaking to you and talk about how you are feeling (preferably in the presence of other people) and see what he says. If he dismisses what you're saying and how you're feeling I think you need to move on.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster

    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    Why are you with someone who makes such disgusting jokes?

    I an sooo glad that you got home safely.
    Do you carry a mobile phone? If you ever see Mr Alley again, take his photo and dial 999.

    Your bofriend is only 16 it's unrealistic to expect him to act with any maturity. He might grow up. Or he might stay as a bit of a jerk. Impossible to say.
    At the moment he's hardly talking in a way to make you want to stay with him.

    And of course you love astericking! You'd be weird if you didn't. Making tasteless jokes about this is not the appropriate thing after you've been through such a sinister experience.
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Updated: February 7, 2018
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