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who is in the wrong.. me or girlfriend watch

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    Hi me and my girlfriend are constantly arguing because she thinks I dont give her enough attention.. give me some feedback on whos in the wrong sr

    Heres the background. We both are in a long distance relationship (leeds and london). I work full time in an office 9-5.30 and she works in retail so works in shifts.

    I choose to eat my lunch in my car everyday so I can call her for an hour during my break. I'll then call her again on my commute home which lasts usually 40 mins.

    When I get home, I just want to relax, il go gym, eat dinner and play ps4 with friends. During this time, I wont facetime or call her but I always try to text her, she never really responds because she feels like we should be facetiming. I try and facetime her before bed for an hour around 10ish but again shes always distant because ive apparently ignored her from me getting home at 6.30 until 10. When i havent, ive just been doing my own thing whether thats going gym, playing footy, chilling with family. However she expects me to literally want to facetime her for my entire evening after work. She doesnt seem to acknowledge my calling her at lunch or after work and claims its an obligation and its convenient for me. This leads to srguments every single day and im just sick of it

    who is in the wrong? Is it me because i literally want 2 hours to myself an evening where i can just unwind and do my own thing or is she being too clingy?
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    Do you spend a lot of time together outside of work? When she says you should be face timing, does she mean every evening?

    You are entitled to some time alone although she may feel like she doesn't see you enough. Does your girlfriend hang out with her own friends and have her own hobbies too? Perhaps she could spend some of her evenings on this rather than waiting for you time to FaceTime?
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    Long distance relationship. She's always going to be needy. Sounds like a bit of a nause to be honest, the sort who would moan about you going out on your own if you lived together.
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    It does sound like you're only phoning her when you have nothing better to do (while eating lunch/stuck on the train) - like she's a slightly better alternative to candy crush.

    Maybe use some of your time at lunch and on the commute to relax some more and spend more time on facetime with her relaxing together in the evenings...

    Or if that seems like too much hard work then stop wasting both of your time on a relationship you're not that bothered about.
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    How often doyo see each other in persson?
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    Seems like your girlfriend is pretty darn selfish and doesn't really bother to consider how you may feel or what you want. I'd say dump her, but if it wouldn't be that easy for you, be more assertive. Tell her what she needs to know and if she's reacts immaturely to it, don't bother with her. For me personally, i couldn't stand it if i was a guy with a girlfriend like that. You need your space, and time to yourself; always put yourself first unless you want to be unhappy for the rest of your life trying to please someone who thinks it's never enough.
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    Maybe have a couple days a week, I'd assume the weekend is already covered, where you take an hour of of the evening to talk with her. The rest of the week though you should have to do what you want with as she does sound a bit clingy.
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    You clearly have different ideas on what ideal contact looks like... and different couples find different things work for them. You guys just need to try and get on the same page. If she always feels like the second choice then it's reasonable she gets a bit upset but TBH you're already talking for nearly 2 hours a day, in my opinion that's a lot. I wouldn't be happy spending my whole evening on the phone either, I want to live my life and do things. Neither of you are being unreasonable however... you just need to talk and find a compromise. And if you can't compromise then you need to ask yourself if it's gonna work. You'll only resent each other more and mroe if you can't find a middle ground.
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    Well, she does seem to be quite clingy but then, as an above poster said, you're calling her when it's the only thing to do. If you have other stuff to do you push her aside. I suggest talking to her and figuring out exactly what each of you wants. She says what she wants, then you say what you want in terms of how often you video chat etc. Then work out a schedule that works for you both. It seems like she doesn't understand that you have your own things to do, but you also need to understand that you are still in a committed relationship and that means spending time together. I understand both sides - I'm long distance with my boyfriend (USA and UK) and on a Sunday when it's my rest day from uni work, I'd like to spend my afternoon video chatting with him, but Sundays for him are more often than not time to go hiking with friends, so we compromise and 2 weekends a month are ours, and the other 2 are times we can be apart and do our own thing. It works, because we know we don't have to spend every moment in contact with each other for us to both be happy.
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    She is in the wrong on this.

    When you're geographically together, you're together. And you should aim to spend the highest quality time together.

    When you're apart, you're apart and you should each be getting on with your lives instead of spending half your non working, non sleeping hours talking to each other on the phone or via Skype.

    What she's doing is having a detrimental effect on your life - by taking up so much of your time during the week. That's not good from your point of view.
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    (Original post by help-me333)
    Hi me and my girlfriend are constantly arguing because she thinks I dont give her enough attention.. give me some feedback on whos in the wrong sr

    Heres the background. We both are in a long distance relationship (leeds and london). I work full time in an office 9-5.30 and she works in retail so works in shifts.

    I choose to eat my lunch in my car everyday so I can call her for an hour during my break. I'll then call her again on my commute home which lasts usually 40 mins.

    When I get home, I just want to relax, il go gym, eat dinner and play ps4 with friends. During this time, I wont facetime or call her but I always try to text her, she never really responds because she feels like we should be facetiming. I try and facetime her before bed for an hour around 10ish but again shes always distant because ive apparently ignored her from me getting home at 6.30 until 10. When i havent, ive just been doing my own thing whether thats going gym, playing footy, chilling with family. However she expects me to literally want to facetime her for my entire evening after work. She doesnt seem to acknowledge my calling her at lunch or after work and claims its an obligation and its convenient for me. This leads to srguments every single day and im just sick of it

    who is in the wrong? Is it me because i literally want 2 hours to myself an evening where i can just unwind and do my own thing or is she being too clingy?
    No such thing as being in the wrong here.
    You just want different things. If you don't want to give her the attention she wants and she can't adjust to accept that, maybe you're not made for each other?
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    Sounds like she has nothing else to do.
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    she is clingy, but that's only because she barely gets to see you.you should take into consideration that you guys have a long distance relationship so you won't see each other everyday. She needs to take into consideration that you have other things to do, as much as you would love to be on facetime to her for the whole day, you can't. You've got things to do.
    No-ones in the right, no-one's in the wrong. Just talk to each other, and sort it out.
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    She needs to get an activity or get over herself. She ignores the fact that you call her twice a day for a chat and is using the times you don’t call her as a weapon. She is needy by the sounds of it. Get out before you’ve got a phone tracking app on your mobile and she phones to check up on you.
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    You're not in the wrong.

    You're allowed to do your own thing and unwind. She is insecure and demanding a lot of your time - more than what is reasonable.

    Maybe try to reach some sort o compromise by flicking her a few more texts after work (only a few, literally).

    Besides than that, i think you're absolutely fine.
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    both of you are, for getting into a long distance relationship. it never works, you two should just break up as you clearly can't make the time for each other
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    you know what...why are you in a relationship if you dont wanna be with someone :nothing:
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    You definitely need time to chills and relax to yourself, but in only calling her when you have nothing else to do I can understand why she'd be upset. Could you use your lunch break for some you time and call her once you're home, or facetime a couple of times a week for an hour or so like she's suggested? If you aren't willing to make time with her though, rather than just having her there to talk to when you're bored, you should consider whether you still want to be in a relationship with her
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    (Original post by help-me333)
    Hi me and my girlfriend are constantly arguing because she thinks I dont give her enough attention.. give me some feedback on whos in the wrong sr

    Heres the background. We both are in a long distance relationship (leeds and london). I work full time in an office 9-5.30 and she works in retail so works in shifts.

    I choose to eat my lunch in my car everyday so I can call her for an hour during my break. I'll then call her again on my commute home which lasts usually 40 mins.

    When I get home, I just want to relax, il go gym, eat dinner and play ps4 with friends. During this time, I wont facetime or call her but I always try to text her, she never really responds because she feels like we should be facetiming. I try and facetime her before bed for an hour around 10ish but again shes always distant because ive apparently ignored her from me getting home at 6.30 until 10. When i havent, ive just been doing my own thing whether thats going gym, playing footy, chilling with family. However she expects me to literally want to facetime her for my entire evening after work. She doesnt seem to acknowledge my calling her at lunch or after work and claims its an obligation and its convenient for me. This leads to srguments every single day and im just sick of it

    who is in the wrong? Is it me because i literally want 2 hours to myself an evening where i can just unwind and do my own thing or is she being too clingy?

    Her. She is so clingy. This is an unhealthy relationship
 
 
 
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