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    Hey guys, Well it's just going to be the typical "am i too old to have never had a boyfriend?" thread.. So sorry, but I feel like I need to write it down... Beware, it's going to be long.

    So I'm 22 years old, I go to university and work, and yeah I have never had a boyfriend, it's not like there were never guys who liked me, there were plenty, but none that i felt attracted to.. At least up till now. So now there is this guy I know from high school, who I met by chance at uni
    (he goes there as well) and I realized how much of an intelligent hunk he is.

    First question, is it weird that practically he is my first crush?

    - Not that anything could happen with him..., he'll go abroad for half a year soon and he is in a "do i want my ex-girfriend who cheated on me back or it's just my hurting ego?"phase- Anyways I've been meeting up with him for movies and such and as he was telling me about his (ex)-relationship, I really felt like I've been missing smg in my life. As if I were a teenager sitting next to a man.

    I've heard ppl say before that those over 20 who haven't had relationships are creepy, there must be some kind of problem with them.
    Is it really how most of you think? Am I inferior or lack because of this? Because nowadays I've been feeling like this somehow... Will there ever be a guy I'm attracted to (and vice versa) who won't be turned-off by me not having had experience? Or do ppl just think it's too much trouble? And if the answer is yes, then what the hell am I supposed to do, it's not like I can go back to being my 15-year-old self, and without attraction I would just feel like I'm taking advantage of the other party...

    God, I'm usually a confident, motivated and cheerful girl, but lately I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head... So what do you think?
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    19, never had a girlfriend
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    WonderingCloud, I've never found any corelation between how wonderful someone is as a romantic partner and at what age they had their first boyfriend.

    I think that the first job with you is to get you to stop focusing on yourself and start you focusing on the men around you.

    So, can you please list 10 things that you really like about this young man that you fancy?
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    We have around 300 students in my cohort. Judging from their behaviour around the opposite sex I would say the majority have never had relationships and some of them are in their late 20s early 30s. We live in different times. Men and women have become more distant from each other. Forming relationships has become harder/not really necessary to live a normal fulfilling life...Its sad but true and its mostly driven by a deep culture of indifference and disposability....a culture where relationships are purely physical. This has greatly diminished the value of love and respect and the need for relationships ...relationships are now more hurt than pleasure.

    Its never too late. One of the most romantic things you can do is find yourself a compatible student at your university to form a lasting relationship with. It'll be special because you would both be graduating together and building your careers together....Its kind of special. I met my wife at college when I was around 17ish. We fancied each other that much was obvious but we never talked...I was too shy and she was too shy and I felt really bad when we finished our A-levels and went our separate ways without forming contact. On the induction day year 1 of uni....I get a tap on my shoulder and I hear a hi from a familiar voice. I turn around and its her...lol my heart exploded....I was so freaking happy ....we both wound up in the same university studying the same exact course in the same exact college!!!! We stuck together and we got married a year later and now we are walking through life together....its just nice really nice....but you have to be proactive about it....
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    WonderingCloud, I've never found any corelation between how wonderful someone is as a romantic partner and at what age they had their first boyfriend.

    I think that the first job with you is to get you to stop focusing on yourself and start you focusing on the men around you.

    So, can you please list 10 things that you really like about this young man that you fancy?
    Even though I'm a proud INTJ, society sometimes makes me insecure, those looks of "you are different", normally it doesn't matter, but I've come to realize that this particular one bothers me, because I somehow feel insecure because of this, which makes advancing even harder...

    The things that I find attractive, god there are plenty, although I try not to idolize him, but he is extremely smart, witty, manly, i adore his deep voice, he plays basketball (I'm a huge fan of NBA), he is tall and really charismatic. I'm not the fangirl type, and my mind is too much in control...
    Btw, it's really just wierd with him, he is leaving at the end of February, still heart-broken or confused, and i've been invited over for the second time. I guess I've been friend zoned

    I don't think of this as a failure or anything I just became afraid at some point when he was talking about a "shy girl" he was dating, and that it was just simply not enough for him, not in a sexual way, but somehow not. That's when i started having these, what if it's really already late to become... normal?
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    It sounds like you see yourself as rather different from the norm, WonderingCloud?
    Are you taller than average?

    How tall is he?
    Is there a minimum height that a man has to be for you to be interested in them?
    Being clever, witty, masculine, charismatic are all great traits. Never settle for any man that isn't all of those.

    I see your minimum standards as a good thing. It may take you a while to get off the mark, but when you do you'll be with someone of quality.

    Do you think that you may need to work on iincreasing the number of men that you meet that would be up to your minimum standards?
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    Ah no, thank god I'm of average height, he is like 185 or so, I haven't really asked, but I just find it an extremely attractive trait in men. (talk about superficial..haha)
    And yes, I do feel different sometimes, not from the outside, but thinking-wise. (Does a word like this even exist?)

    Yes definitely, so far he has been the only person I found approachable and everything else that I wrote down. I'm kind of at a loss... I can't really approach guys I find attractive, like how? I'm not a fan of clubs, besides work and uni, I don't really have time for new hobbies...

    Btw, thank you for taking it seriously, I feel like a teenager fussing about made-up problems, but this is the only part of my life that I don't feel satisfactory..
 
 
 
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