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    I'm a Muslim female.. I am questioning my sexuality..

    I find my views regarding this situation conflicting. To a certain extent homosexuality doesn't feel right to me.. Like sometimes I have days where I'm like nah I can't do that, it doesn't feel right. But then I also feel attracted to women and I know I would be happy with a woman but it's against my religion. I just feel like there's no right way for me.

    Either I follow religion (and not be myself), that's what I tried doing but it resulted in me feeling suicidal, I used to pray for these feelings to "go away", I thought it was a phase but it can't be a phase when Ive been feeling like this for many years.

    Or I get into a relationship with a girl to explore and not feel completely okay with it.. It's like whatever I decide, I'm never going to be 100% happy.

    Any advice on what you would do if you were in my situation? Please take both sides into consideration I.e. being a muslim and questioning sexuality..
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    I think ABSOLUTELY DO NOT do anything that would make you feel suicjdal or unhappy. You can’t accelt and come to terms with your feelings if you dint know exactly what they are so explore and maybe reach out to people in the Muslim LGBTQ community (google it maybe and see who comes up) for advice. At the end of the day if you believe in guys religion and believe your god is all loving and fair and such things then you should be able to see that he would accept you and love you. Religion can be important but nowadays it can be difficult to follow 100% as times change but it doesn’t make you any less religious if you still believe and find comfort in your religion and religious rituals
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a Muslim female.. I am questioning my sexuality..

    I find my views regarding this situation conflicting. To a certain extent homosexuality doesn't feel right to me.. Like sometimes I have days where I'm like nah I can't do that, it doesn't feel right. But then I also feel attracted to women and I know I would be happy with a woman but it's against my religion. I just feel like there's no right way for me.

    Either I follow religion (and not be myself), that's what I tried doing but it resulted in me feeling suicidal, I used to pray for these feelings to "go away", I thought it was a phase but it can't be a phase when Ive been feeling like this for many years.

    Or I get into a relationship with a girl to explore and not feel completely okay with it.. It's like whatever I decide, I'm never going to be 100% happy.

    Any advice on what you would do if you were in my situation? Please take both sides into consideration I.e. being a muslim and questioning sexuality..
    This is a difficult topic to discuss because you have to take more than what you find attractive straight away into consideration.

    First of all if you don't feel 100% comfortable with being in a relationship with a certain person, then you should not be in one at all regardless of the gender.

    Secondly, if you find a person attractive but their personality is not your match, then it will be a big 'turn off'. However, some people might not seem your 'type' at first but then they display actions that you find attractive, so you fall for them.

    Lastly, I wouldn't worry about it too much at the moment. At the end of the day, there is a difference between having a crush or falling for someone. You could end up in a situation where you are attracted to both genders but the person you are with is male.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think ABSOLUTELY DO NOT do anything that would make you feel suicjdal or unhappy. You can’t accelt and come to terms with your feelings if you dint know exactly what they are so explore and maybe reach out to people in the Muslim LGBTQ community (google it maybe and see who comes up) for advice. At the end of the day if you believe in guys religion and believe your god is all loving and fair and such things then you should be able to see that he would accept you and love you. Religion can be important but nowadays it can be difficult to follow 100% as times change but it doesn’t make you any less religious if you still believe and find comfort in your religion and religious rituals
    I think the longer I repress my feelings, the
    more suffocated I get.. it's hard to find a woman though.. being a Muslim and someone who wears a scarf..

    I will research the LGBT community so thanks for that. I don't know, I think god will punish me for this (if I get with a woman) but if I repress my feelings, i feel I can't be me and I start feeling really depressed/suicidal
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    (Original post by Den987)
    This is a difficult topic to discuss because you have to take more than what you find attractive straight away into consideration.

    First of all if you don't feel 100% comfortable with being in a relationship with a certain person, then you should not be in one at all regardless of the gender.

    Secondly, if you find a person attractive but their personality is not your match, then it will be a big 'turn off'. However, some people might not seem your 'type' at first but then they display actions that you find attractive, so you fall for them.

    Lastly, I wouldn't worry about it too much at the moment. At the end of the day, there is a difference between having a crush or falling for someone. You could end up in a situation where you are attracted to both genders but the person you are with is male.
    Difficult topic to discuss even more difficult to go through.... I think if I explore with a woman, I'll be able to know how I truly feel, if it makes me happy, I can continue. if it makes me uncomfortable, I can leave it and I'll know how I feel about the whole situation. Right now, I feel as though I would like to get to know a woman..

    Yeah for me personality is a huge deciding factor. I've always said I want someone who is understanding and caring. I feel as though these qualities are more commonly found in women rather than men hence what makes me even more attracted to women.

    It's hard not worrying about it now cause I just feel suffocated and restless.. but it's even more difficult trying to find someone.. I've been in love with a girl before so I know the difference between a crush and falling for someone. And I agree with the last sentence, but right now I don't want to think about men. I want to try and find a woman..
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    I know how you're feeling, I can help you 100%
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    (Original post by opeyemipaul)
    I know how you're feeling, I can help you 100%
    How can you help?
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    There are an increasing number of Muslims coming out as gay but who are finding peace in both their religion and their sexuality.

    https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.b...urope-40802538

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-engl...e-sex-marriage

    "To those who are Muslim and believe you can't be gay or an emancipated woman at the same time as being Muslim, I would say: you can't be homophobic, misogynistic, Judeophobic and pretend to be Muslim, because Islam means being at peace with yourself and others. So that would be an oxymoron, it would be a contradiction."
    -mosque founder Seyran Ates
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How can you help?
    How old are you?
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    (Original post by GreenBell)
    How old are you?
    21
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    (Original post by Feastful)
    There are an increasing number of Muslims coming out as gay but who are finding peace in both their religion and their sexuality.

    https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.b...urope-40802538

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05740sx

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-engl...e-sex-marriage

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-engl...e-sex-marriage

    "To those who are Muslim and believe you can't be gay or an emancipated woman at the same time as being Muslim, I would say: you can't be homophobic, misogynistic, Judeophobic and pretend to be Muslim," he replies."Because Islam means being at peace with yourself and others. So that would be an oxymoron, it would be a contradiction."
    -mosque founder Seyran Ates
    I'll check those links out.

    The last two sentences yes! Islam is about peace. Islam means to respect yourself and other individuals even if you don't agree with their actions!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll check those links out.

    The last two sentences yes! Islam is about peace. Islam means to respect yourself and other individuals even if you don't agree with their actions!!
    You may find this article interesting to read:
    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-st...-a7666846.html

    "A lot of people say you can't be gay and Muslim like it is a choice. Islam is a very accepting religion and its foundations are based on peace, befriending and supporting each other."

    There is also this book. "The Making of a Gay Muslim": https://www.palgrave.com/gp/book/9783319631295

    "This book highlights the lived experiences of gay Muslims in Malaysia, where Islam is the majority and official religion, and in Britain, where Muslims form a religious minority. By exploring how they negotiate their religious and sexual identities, Shah challenges the notion that Islam is inherently homophobic and that there is an unbridgeable divide between ‘Islam’ and the ‘West’. Shah also gained access to gay Muslim networks and individuals for his in-depth research in both countries, and the book investigates the different ways that they respond to everyday anti-homosexual or anti-Muslim sentiments. Amid the many challenges they confront, the gay Muslims whom Shah encountered find innovative and meaningful ways to integrate Islam and gay identity into their lives."

    Nur Warsame is an openly gay Australian Imam who is planning on opening up a mosque for same-sex attracted teenagers:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...Melbourne.html ,
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ed-change.html

    Seyran Ates too has plans to build a liberal mosque in Britain:
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...london-britain


    You are not alone. You can be Lesbian or Bisexual and be a good Muslim. You don't have to choose between your faith and your sexuality. There are many people out there who have experienced what you are experiencing and have found peace in both their sexuality and their religion. Here is a link to Imaan, the UK's leading LGBTQ Muslim Charity:
    https://imaanlondon.wordpress.com/

    "People say you can’t be gay and Muslim. They are incredibly ignorant,' says LGBT business leader"
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...-a7851731.html

    "Majority of American Muslims Now Support Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual People":
    https://www.hrc.org/blog/majority-of...isexual-people
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    Some more:

    "LBGT Muslims and their Allies" Facebook page:
    https://www.facebook.com/LGBTMuslimsAndAllies/

    Queer Muslim organisations around the world (includes 4 in the UK):
    https://www.salaamcanada.info/intlqueermuslim

    Islams LBGT allies:
    https://musliminstitute.org/freethin...ms-lgbt-allies


    This Muslim Fashion Label Designed A Rainbow Hijab To Support Marriage Equality:
    http://www.newnownext.com/muslim-pri...shion/11/2017/

    Article on being gay and Muslim:
    http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/...-a7835671.html

    UK Imams help gay Muslims embrace new social identities:
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10480987
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Difficult topic to discuss even more difficult to go through.... I think if I explore with a woman, I'll be able to know how I truly feel, if it makes me happy, I can continue. if it makes me uncomfortable, I can leave it and I'll know how I feel about the whole situation. Right now, I feel as though I would like to get to know a woman..

    Yeah for me personality is a huge deciding factor. I've always said I want someone who is understanding and caring. I feel as though these qualities are more commonly found in women rather than men hence what makes me even more attracted to women.

    It's hard not worrying about it now cause I just feel suffocated and restless.. but it's even more difficult trying to find someone.. I've been in love with a girl before so I know the difference between a crush and falling for someone. And I agree with the last sentence, but right now I don't want to think about men. I want to try and find a woman..
    Fair enough, if that's what you want to do. You might as well do what makes you happy, it's not as though you can force an attraction anyway. Who knows where you are going to be in years time or who you are going to meet, but you need to start somewhere.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    21
    I'm not being rude or anything but aren't you a bit too young for this. I mean you're feeling suicidal for not having a girlfriend? This is not even about your sexuality or your religion, its the fact that you're putting so much effort into this at a young age. You're making it seem like you're a 40 year old woman who's never been in a relationship and finding someone is a big priority. Being suicidal over this is really not worth it. I'm not saying I know or understand how you feel, it must feel like hell going through this but stop with the suicidal thing. Life is a mystery and everything will sort itself out slowly.

    About your sexuality and religion, you already know what Islam says about homosexuality. No one here can tell you what you should do, that's up to you. I know its really difficult because if you speak to Muslims they'll tell you to forget about it and its a sin, and at the same time if you speak to non-Muslims they'll tell you to leave your religion and do whatever you want. I say focus on your self, your career, studies etc and try to become independent. Then maybe later focus on this? I don't know, it's difficult.

    Anyways, good luck and inshallah you'll find the right path.
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    (Original post by GreenBell)
    I'm not being rude or anything but aren't you a bit too young for this. I mean you're feeling suicidal for not having a girlfriend? This is not even about your sexuality or your religion
    Far from feeling suicidal because she doesn't have a girlfriend, my main impression of this situation was that she felt suicidal because she felt that her sexuality is in conflict with her religion (and attempts on her part to deny her feelings for her religions sake left her feeling suicidal).

    (Original post by GreenBell)
    I know its really difficult because if you speak to Muslims they'll tell you to forget about it and its a sin, and at the same time if you speak to non-Muslims they'll tell you to leave your religion and do whatever you want.
    1. Not really true- I am not Muslim and my advice was to put her in contact with charities and articles etc which supported and explored being Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay and Muslim.

    2. It's not right to just stereotype all non-Muslim people as all being fundamentally anti-Islam.

    3. It is also not right to stereotype Muslims as all being fundamentally anti-gay (a large percentage of the British Muslim community are very supportive of the LBGT community, within and outside of the Muslim community!).

    There is a lot of help out there for non-heterosexual Muslims (but your advice seems to boil down to "Forget about everything and don't bother talking to anyone (I don't know)")
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    (Original post by Feastful)
    Far from feeling suicidal because she doesn't have a girlfriend, my main impression of this situation was that she felt suicidal because she felt that her sexuality is in conflict with her religion (and attempts on her part to deny her feelings for her religions sake left her feeling suicidal).

    1. Not really true- I am not Muslim and my advice was to put her in contact with charities and articles etc which supported and explored being Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay and Muslim.

    2. It's not right to just stereotype all non-Muslim people as all being fundamentally anti-Islam.

    3. It is also not right to stereotype Muslims as all being fundamentally anti-gay (a large percentage of the British Muslim community are very supportive of the LBGT community, within and outside of the Muslim community!).

    There is a lot of help out for non-heterosexual Muslims (but your advice seems to boil down to "Forget about everything and don't bother talking to anyone (I don't know)".
    I didn't mean that all Muslims are anti-gay, I'm a Muslim girl and I'm not anti-gay. I just meant that if she went and spoke to an Imam, they will probably say that its a sin and she shouldn't do it. Also, I didn't say that all non-Muslims are anti-Islam, I just said they would tell her to go out and experience it which is the opposite of what a Muslim Imam would say.

    But you are right! It's a difficult topic and I don't really have a lot information about it (hence I don't know) but one thing I know is that she shouldn't be feeling suicidal about it. Especially since suicide the biggest sin in Islam.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll check those links out.

    The last two sentences yes! Islam is about peace. Islam means to respect yourself and other individuals even if you don't agree with their actions!!
    Islam also forbids homosexuality.
    You should not be homophobic but that doesn’t mean you can be homosexual.
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    (Original post by Feastful)
    1. Not really true- I am not Muslim and my advice was to put her in contact with charities and articles etc which supported and explored being Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay and Muslim.

    2. It's not right to just stereotype all non-Muslim people as all being fundamentally anti-Islam.

    3. It is also not right to stereotype Muslims as all being fundamentally anti-gay (a large percentage of the British Muslim community are very supportive of the LBGT community, within and outside of the Muslim community!).

    There is a lot of help out there for non-heterosexual Muslims (but your advice seems to boil down to "Forget about everything and don't bother talking to anyone (I don't know)")
    Exactly this, what I feel doesn't go hand in hand with religion... hence what made me feel suicidal in the past...

    Thanks for the advice..
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    (Original post by Boiboiboi111)
    Islam also forbids homosexuality.
    You should not be homophobic but that doesn’t mean you can be homosexual.
    I understand that but you should hate the sin not the person! You should still respect the person.
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