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Rejecting popular group kindly? watch

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    In year 11 I got ignored and unfriended from my long-term friendship group, after an argument about my friends boyfriend who was horrible to her. I was left alone for most of the year and struggled making new friends, but desperately wanted to be included, I felt self conscious and anxious continuously and had no one to talk to.
    Now at the beginning of this year (year 12) I made a small group of friends who for the first time are nice, it isn't the sort of group like a typical girl squad that does everything together, but chilled and I know I can be alone if I want, and mix with friends at other times, everyone respects each other.
    But now a popular group of people in my year have basically incorporated me into their friendship group, they talk to me in lessons all the time, invite me to places and I've been added to their group chats. But they are SO toxic to everyone around them, they all constantly talk about other people outside of the group in hurtful ways, and I don't like being in the group chats where this is done because I like some of these people they talk about. And even if I didn't I dont think anyone should be spoken about like that.
    When I observe them, they are really unkind people and I don't want to be a part of the group, but I also don't want to look uptight and boring and them spread rumours about me around the year, like they do to a lot of other people who reject them. I didn't ask to be a part of this group, and don't want to be associated with their behaviour.

    I guess my question is how do I get out of the group and leave the chats etc without becoming a target? I want to do it as kind a way as possible, the whole situation of being in a group chat where they talk about people horribly is really upsetting me, but I don't know if just leaving is rude and unkind, and I don't want to end up without friends like I originally did. I'm so stuck, any advice about the situation is appreciated.
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    ....and how are they popular exactly?
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    ooooo, i can get why youre in a dilemma, can you stay on the group and just not say anything when theyre chatting about other people?
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    I think that you should slowly drift away and stop hanging out with them but not so quickly they'll really notice. As for the group chats, stay on them just don't write anything and ignore them. Usually I wouldn't suggest this kinda approach but it's best to avoid becoming a target.
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    (Original post by bidoof55)
    In year 11 I got ignored and unfriended from my long-term friendship group, after an argument about my friends boyfriend who was horrible to her. I was left alone for most of the year and struggled making new friends, but desperately wanted to be included, I felt self conscious and anxious continuously and had no one to talk to.
    Now at the beginning of this year (year 12) I made a small group of friends who for the first time are nice, it isn't the sort of group like a typical girl squad that does everything together, but chilled and I know I can be alone if I want, and mix with friends at other times, everyone respects each other.
    But now a popular group of people in my year have basically incorporated me into their friendship group, they talk to me in lessons all the time, invite me to places and I've been added to their group chats. But they are SO toxic to everyone around them, they all constantly talk about other people outside of the group in hurtful ways, and I don't like being in the group chats where this is done because I like some of these people they talk about. And even if I didn't I dont think anyone should be spoken about like that.
    When I observe them, they are really unkind people and I don't want to be a part of the group, but I also don't want to look uptight and boring and them spread rumours about me around the year, like they do to a lot of other people who reject them. I didn't ask to be a part of this group, and don't want to be associated with their behaviour.

    I guess my question is how do I get out of the group and leave the chats etc without becoming a target? I want to do it as kind a way as possible, the whole situation of being in a group chat where they talk about people horribly is really upsetting me, but I don't know if just leaving is rude and unkind, and I don't want to end up without friends like I originally did. I'm so stuck, any advice about the situation is appreciated.
    Tell them to f*ck off and go treat ppl decently
 
 
 
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