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Don't want to go to uni but also know that it's important. watch

    • Thread Starter

    (I don't know where to put this. I hope this is the right thread, if not... whatever.)

    I don't want to go to university but also know that it's important to have a Bachelor degree.

    I'm just scared that I'll fail and waste a lot of money and won't be able to stick it out for 3 years.

    And if I don't go to university, I don't know what to do anyway. I have nothing going for me. I'm depressed and don't know what to do. Nothing makes me happy.

    The advice I get is always to ask for help but it's just me. I have no one else. The only thing I have is social anxiety.

    Don't suggest that I go to uni to enjoy to social life because I don't enjoy it. I don't like young people (no offense! i'm young too. I just don't like being near you guys, I don't like the ''healthy'' narcissism and alcohol that comes with being an adolescent. not everyone is like that i know (don't be angry), but be honest with yourself, the majority is.)

    I'm scared that university will be too hard for my depressed brain to deal with.

    If I do go to uni I'll have to do three things at once: Study hard (as the depression makes things harder to remember), Work (as I won't be supported financially.) and try to overcome depression.

    Currently, I'm doing none of those things. I still feel like **** 24/7.

    I know people will say ''just wait a couple of years until your depression is cured.'' but my depression will never go away. It hasn't for the past decade and I don't think it will. Besides that I don't want to graduate with kids born in 2006. I'll seem like a failure. (I'm already two years behind everyone anyway.)

    I know that if I don't go to university, I'll regret it. I'll end up working at mcdonalds for the rest of my life and the circle of poverty just repeats itself. (but who's to say that wont happen anyway, even if i do go to university?)

    I just want someone to give me some elderly advice on what to do.

    What should I do? Go to uni and be in debt and potentially fail? or risk it and potentially ruin my life in the long run?

    Hi. Lots to unpack from what you've written. First of all, it sounds as though you need some support from a GP. It takes a fairly big step on your part to do that, (as it's unclear whether you're even registered with a GP), but no one else can do it for you, and it's probably the quickest route to accessing some necessary support.

    Secondly: hard work at uni. It's not hard work all the time, and if you choose a subject that interests and motivates you, with a clear goal, and are mindful of the schedule of the requirements (deadlines etc), then it all becomes more manageable.

    Thirdly, not every uni is filled with students who want to go out and get drunk all the time. Student communities are so large that they include people of diverse interest and character, and you'd just gravitate towards those whose interests and personalities fit well with your own.

    And finally: the age issue. There are so many different routes into university, with people doing retakes, having gap years, interrupting their studies etc., that there's inevitably a fairly broad distribution of ages in any given academic cohort, which only becomes an issue if the individuals relentlessly flag up their youth or 'maturity.'

    One thing at a time, and it needn't seem overwhelming, but you do need to start to address matters by seeing your GP, to discuss how you're feeling.

    Allow me to fire some points at you:

    Most people who go to uni are in debt anyway; this is often not a problem because (thankfully) going to uni tends to mean you enter into better paid jobs. This should definitely not be something that concerns you at your age.

    You will have to work, so what? everyone does it at some point in their lives. It will mean more human contact (which will be good for you, trust me on this one), it will also fill your brain with responsibilities-- Allowing less room for depression to take up.

    University is a blank slate: you will go to accommodation, it will be daunting, but also an opportunity to live in close proximity with other "adolescents" for a year. You will necessarily become friends with them, its impossible to share a house with people for a year and not become acquainted, as a past boarding student I can assure you of this.

    You go to university to learn and better yourself academically. This means social life (although for most people is very high in priorities) should not be your main concern. You are going to study a career only few people have the privilege of enjoying in a kind of institution a minute percentage of the world's population can access.

    Thankfully there is a lot of people in university: there will be many- Oh so many- people like you with social anxiety and depressed brains. I don't know why I am including this, but it may help you to feel reassured to know that you won't be all alone.

    Lastly-- It won't be easy and no one pretends it will be. There will be many occasions in which you will find yourself lost, almost feeling like you are in a foreign country. You will have to do things you didn't think you would ever do, and some of those will not be pleasant. In fact, in your first year you will change so much as to be unrecognisable looking back- such is adulthood-.
    As a fellow "adolescent" I cannot give you any elderly advice that you seem to request, hence the only advice I can give you at this point is borrowed from an elderly man: that everything you have done up to now in your life is but a process of becoming who you are at this point, and everything you will do in the future is therefore a part of becoming yourself-- Therefore let yourself be filled with expectation, if anything, at meeting the person you will be tomorrow, next year or after uni.
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