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Did I overreact with my housemate? watch

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    I have been living with two girls who are also my colleagues for 6 months. The girl in question moved a month later and took an instant dislike to our other flatmate; even to go as far as writing passive-aggressive comments about her in a blog which was published online and swearing/shouting at her.

    The other girl had never actually done anything to her; she just took an instant dislike. Anyway, at the time I confronted her over the blog-writing and treatment of our housemate. She apologised and it was all forgotten, and I thought she had just made a mistake and was a nice person in fact, and so we started to hang out.

    However, over the past couple of months it has come to my attention that she can be incredibly filthy. I don't know why but she often doesn't flush/properly flush the toilet. I can't remember how many times I've had to flush her urine, but also period blood and faeces. She also leaves the seat dirty with unidentifiable black things.

    If it had happened just once or twice then I understand it can happen, but there have been various occasions. Aside from this, she leaves her hair bobbles covered with hairs in the sink/shower and snot on the wall once or twice.

    She also does very little cleaning of our bathroom/communal areas and never takes out the rubbish; my other flatmate has noticed it too. She will also do things like use the entire washing line for her alone; so that there is nowhere for us to hang our own washing.

    My other flatmate works with her closely and told me how she will speak to her in quite an abrupt/rude manner and almost try to give her orders. I feel that she does have an attitude at times and can be cocky.

    I admit that during the week I don't really cook anything complicated as I just can't be bothered after work. She asked me one day: "Do you actually know how to cook? Do you? Don't worry, I'll show you." In a patronising manner. She said a similar comment to my housemate.

    Also, recently I had a cough and for some reason she found it funny to imitate me.

    Anyway, after a discussion with the other housemate, we decided to confront her. It was mainly me about the cleanliness, but my housemate supported me. I tried to speak in a fair but firm manner; I didn't shout or insult her or swear, I told her that I thought it was disrespectful and that I was frustrated about the toilet as it was disgusting.

    She didn't really have much to say in response other than 'right ok'. And we just left it at that. She was clearly very angry as she spent the next day slamming the doors loudly , huffing and puffing and absolutely stony-faced.

    Myself and my colleague knocked at her door to go to apologise and we were greeted with 'WHAT!!'.

    She then opened the door to my housemate and said 'And what do you want?' I admit I got annoyed and told her not to speak to rudely to the other girl and to stop this attitude (slamming doors etc.)

    We tried to justify ourselves and apologise and she said she'd felt attacked by us. Anyway we sort of cleared the air slightly.. but unfortunately we still have to live and work with her every day.

    Does it sound like I did the right thing/reacted in the right manner? I will be civil to her but I feel that she is very rude towards our other housemate and has a lack of respect for both of us.
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    no that's not overreacting that housemate sounds like a right ***** , not to mention her filthiness

    if this carries on i would talk to someone higher about it
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    Ignore her except for the absolute necessities. I'd probably try to move out as soon as is feasible.
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    Thanks for the replies! Yes I think I will report her to our manager if it carries on. I plan to just go about my own thing and just be civil with her but no more; unfortunately I will have to live with her until probably the end of June (a condition of our job is living in this flat unfortunately).
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    Another issue is that she does not wash her hands after using the toilet. ( I know because my room is right next door and so I can hear everything). This is her choice, but I dislike the fact of her doing this and then touching shared items in the kitchen for example. She had a couple of weeks ago the same cough that I have now and I wonder if it is related. I don't want to seem like I am obsessed with cleanliness or anything but I feel that she has a lack of respect.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the replies! Yes I think I will report her to our manager if it carries on. I plan to just go about my own thing and just be civil with her but no more; unfortunately I will have to live with her until probably the end of June (a condition of our job is living in this flat unfortunately).
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Another issue is that she does not wash her hands after using the toilet. ( I know because my room is right next door and so I can hear everything). This is her choice, but I dislike the fact of her doing this and then touching shared items in the kitchen for example. She had a couple of weeks ago the same cough that I have now and I wonder if it is related. I don't want to seem like I am obsessed with cleanliness or anything but I feel that she has a lack of respect.
    i honestly think she needs a reality slap, she'll ****ing infect everyone one way or another
    • #3
    #3

    shes dirty youre 100% doing the right thing, i wouldnt have even apologized
    • #1
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    Thanks for the replies; I'm glad to know I've done the right thing! I will see how it goes; hopefully things will improve, but I will speak to the management if not.
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    I wish I had not read the bits about the lack of basic hygiene.
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    I'm curious about the unidentified black things on the toliet seat? I'd be putting them under the microscope to find out. Whilst wearing rubber gloves when handling them.


    When she offered to show you how to cook, the appropriate response would have been "Cool, you show me how to cook and I'll show you how to operate the toliet and how to clean the bathroom. Sounds like a good exchange of skills "
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    hahah, I actually wanted to say that to her :P I will just try to stay out of her way; I lost it with her before because I couldn't believe how rudely she spoke to our other housemate, and how childish (slamming doors). But I am going to start looking for something else..
 
 
 
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