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Urgent: Dropping out of Medical School For Boyfriend? watch

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    So....one option is risky af and can screw ye for life if it doesn't go according to plan (I'm talking about dropping out here) and the other is near guaranteed promising future for you with a very respectable job and grants you total freedom i.e. money, status and proud parents. All it depends on is if you can get out of this illusion called "True love" or whatnot. Parents will always be there for you, even if they say otherwise but this guy you barely knew half a year isn't gonna be all that fussed to ditch you if shiz hits the fan. Trust me, whatever he says is gonna be short lived, half-empty promises.
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    Why doesn't he offer to drop out of his degree for you? why do you have to sacrifice what you want?

    you are young and smart. I had to make a similar decision after being with a guy the same amount of time, and although we broke up and it still hurts sometimes, I know I made the right decision to choose uni/career
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Short story: Boyfriend (6 month relationship) thinks we would both be happier if I came to live with him permanently (dropping out of medical degree and leaving my family), but he has said he would support me no matter whatever my decision is. Now currently trying to logically assess and reason out which option would maximise happiness. We have a particularly unique LDR case which restricts us from seeing each other even whilst nearby (strict racist Asian parents). Advice appreciated



    Facts:

    • Truly in love, echoing sentiments of “neither can live without the other” (according to the both of us, essential condition of whichever option we choose, is that we stay together)
    • 1542 miles between us (different universities)
    • 6-month-long relationship in total (engaged 3 months in), has always been long distance from the beginning
    • Female (me) is 18 and male is 19 years old
    • Secret relationship (racist parents on my side, no chance of us meeting with their permission, nor even calling easily whilst at home)
    • Degree is 6 years, male unable to cope with long-distance pressure without it being described as emotional torture
    • Cannot see each other during most holidays, even if I’m in the same country, because of my parents (+he lives 200 miles away during non-term-time)
    • Significant financial costs (travel expenses), without my parents knowing, thus it actively is not within the budget I’ve been given, other financial sacrifices are made & quality of life in other areas may be lower
    • Financial cost for parents (6-year degree, £84,000+ costs, shipping me resources, flights), then will have to elope after 6 years either away, even after they have done so much for me
    • Communication is disconnected and distant via phone/texting, especially after just meeting, causes more explosive arguments without being able to help each other heal properly afterwards, more potential emotional scarring without face-to-face contact
    • Worst-case scenario - Risk of discovery part-way through degree, will be given ultimatum, him vs parents/degree, then when I choose him I can no longer continue degree either way due to being unable to shoulder financial degree costs without parent’s support
    • If I do drop out, then my own unhappiness initially over feelings of inadequacy, feeling of being a burden (though he wouldn’t think so), limiting my own career & earning potential, giving up my own long-held ambitions, facing the scorn of my friends/family/society for being a “irresponsible college dropout” whilst he continues degree, intellectual pursuits/pride are a significant source of my happiness and this may hamper this by a large degree (though can do another degree I’m less passionate about whilst there, though more personal financial debt)


    Thank you for reading such a long post! We are just trying to logically work out what is best for us, with no pressure either way! Young I may be, but my commitment and love for him is immense. His emotional well-being and his happiness is of the utmost importance to me.


    Hiya I just think that if he truely loves you, he would want to see you reach your full potential. I’m not trying to minimise what you have but you’re too young, too full of potential to give it all up for a guy you’ve known 6 months! Finish your studies and then see what happens.
    Someone who truely loves you wouldn’t give you an ultimatum! Love is about sacrifice and toil and pain! If it’s meant to be it’ll be - but not like this. Just thought I’d put in my two cents.
    • #5
    #5

    This cannot be for real can it?
    6 month relationship engaged 3 months in.
    Surely no one can be that silly to throw away med school over some guy they've met 6 months ago.
    If this is actually real and you are considering dropping out to be with some guy you've just met - than I think you should drop out it as it sounds like you're too silly and stupid to be training in medicine.
    If youre actually entertaining the thought of qutting years of hard work to get to med school over a 6 month fling that, by the sounds of it wont come to be much than yeah do yourself a favour and drop out.
    what has this world come to?!
 
 
 
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