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    Im writing a short story about 'A Gift' and im trying to make it a horror. Here is what I have written so far, please can anyone spare the time to read it and offer advice and how they find it so far, thanks!

    A box, a notorious box, ineluctable to the unknown, ineluctable to the known. A box with silver bows and gaudy red ribbons, perfectly cuboidal in shape-not an edge out of place. Despite it’s devilishly minuscule essence, it deliberately accentuated the iridescent colours protruding from its surface. A lurid beam radiated from the box, shining down the door, the house, the lives of the innocent that it would consume within a matter of hours after its appearance. Courteous or rambunctious, it didn’t matter, arbitrary families fell victim to this supernatural ‘box’. Delinquents couldn’t compare, God couldn’t compare; this box was special, and no-one knew; or wanted to know, where this apotheosis of a monster had derived from...
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    What age group are you aiming for?

    (Original post by Y11_Maths)
    Im writing a short story about 'A Gift' and im trying to make it a horror. Here is what I have written so far, please can anyone spare the time to read it and offer advice and how they find it so far, thanks!

    A box, a notorious box, ineluctable to the unknown, ineluctable to the known. A box with silver bows and gaudy red ribbons, perfectly cuboidal in shape-not an edge out of place. Despite it’s devilishly minuscule essence, it deliberately accentuated the iridescent colours protruding from its surface. A lurid beam radiated from the box, shining down the door, the house, the lives of the innocent that it would consume within a matter of hours after its appearance. Courteous or rambunctious, it didn’t matter, arbitrary families fell victim to this supernatural ‘box’. Delinquents couldn’t compare, God couldn’t compare; this box was special, and no-one knew; or wanted to know, where this apotheosis of a monster had derived from...
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    What age group are you aiming for?
    My English teacher
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    (Original post by Y11_Maths)
    My English teacher
    Speaking of solely assessment objectives it is great. The range of sentence structures and ambitious vocabulary is extraordinary. Some ideas may to include a cyclical structure or use dramatic irony to keep the reader on their toes. It may be useful for you to read some works of Edgar Allan Poe to get a grasp of the whole horror/gothic genre.

    P.s: I'm a fan of the questions you post on maths ; the questions are always intriguing and useful for my GCSEs.
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    (Original post by AverageHuman)
    Speaking of solely assessment objectives it is great. The range of sentence structures and ambitious vocabulary is extraordinary. Some ideas may to include a cyclical structure or use dramatic irony to keep the reader on their toes. It may be useful for you to read some works of Edgar Allan Poe to get a grasp of the whole horror/gothic genre.

    P.s: I'm a fan of the questions you post on maths ; the questions are always intriguing and useful for my GCSEs.
    Thank you so much for your response, I will definitely take on board this feedback and make sure to include it in my story.

    Also thank you so much man! It means a lot you enjoy it and as a matter of fact I have just finished creating my ‘Grade 9 Paper’. Before I decide what to do with it I must ask my maths teacher to go through it to make sure everything fits and works perfectly. 🙂
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    (Original post by AverageHuman)
    Speaking of solely assessment objectives it is great. The range of sentence structures and ambitious vocabulary is extraordinary. Some ideas may to include a cyclical structure or use dramatic irony to keep the reader on their toes. It may be useful for you to read some works of Edgar Allan Poe to get a grasp of the whole horror/gothic genre.

    P.s: I'm a fan of the questions you post on maths ; the questions are always intriguing and useful for my GCSEs.
    I have just submitted my paper to the student room and have created a thread in the maths forum with it on if you want to check it out
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