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will I ever have another girlfriend if I don’t trust anybody watch

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    I’ll make this quick because I’ve sure everyone’s heard about this *******s before. But anyway I used to enjoy socialising and spending as much time as possible with mates going to gigs festivals and raves as that’s what I loved doing was never bothered about girls and girlfriends I enjoyed having fun. Very care free and a free spirit

    Since being involved in my first relationship I had been cheated on and as you would be I was devestated. Never realised someone you loved could betray you I was amazed! I now struggle so much even trusting close friends because of it and has effected my relationships with them. I now only go out once a week but I don’t even enjoy socialising because I feel so hard done by so I chose to stay at home because who wants to hang around a miserable person. I’m just not care free anymore I don’t live in the moment. It’s like I just hate people which is an awful thing to say as everyone experiences break ups I’m an absolute knob and don’t care about anyone but myself because I’ve feel so hard done by and it makes me feel sick that I’m turning into someone I would hate to be. I just can’t trust people I have no problem getting girls but I just can’t do relationships I can only handle temporary relationships now and leave when things can get serious because I can’t trust the person and it’s not fair being with someone you can’t trust. It would never work. It’s absolutely tragic I just want to learn to trust again and if I can’t well there’s is little to no chance ever getting into another relationship in future. I know I’m going to get so much hate here but I’ve been honest I just want to learn to trust and socialise in a way where people interest me again. I want to go traveling and have plenty of mates I could go with but I just can’t stand hanging about with my mates because I just simply don’t give a toss about anyone. What annoys me is how people move on but I simply can’t it’s an absolute joke.
    • Very Important Poster
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’ll make this quick because I’ve sure everyone’s heard about this *******s before. But anyway I used to enjoy socialising and spending as much time as possible with mates going to gigs festivals and raves as that’s what I loved doing was never bothered about girls and girlfriends I enjoyed having fun. Very care free and a free spirit

    Since being involved in my first relationship I had been cheated on and as you would be I was devestated. Never realised someone you loved could betray you I was amazed! I now struggle so much even trusting close friends because of it and has effected my relationships with them. I now only go out once a week but I don’t even enjoy socialising because I feel so hard done by so I chose to stay at home because who wants to hang around a miserable person. I’m just not care free anymore I don’t live in the moment. It’s like I just hate people which is an awful thing to say as everyone experiences break ups I’m an absolute knob and don’t care about anyone but myself because I’ve feel so hard done by and it makes me feel sick that I’m turning into someone I would hate to be. I just can’t trust people I have no problem getting girls but I just can’t do relationships I can only handle temporary relationships now and leave when things can get serious because I can’t trust the person and it’s not fair being with someone you can’t trust. It would never work. It’s absolutely tragic I just want to learn to trust again and if I can’t well there’s is little to no chance ever getting into another relationship in future. I know I’m going to get so much hate here but I’ve been honest I just want to learn to trust and socialise in a way where people interest me again. I want to go traveling and have plenty of mates I could go with but I just can’t stand hanging about with my mates because I just simply don’t give a toss about anyone. What annoys me is how people move on but I simply can’t it’s an absolute joke.
    Maybe its time to go and get some therapy either through the GP or relate. Not all people or girls are the same, some of them you can trust so dont treat everyone as untrustworthy.

    If you want to be alone , then carry on going the way you are.

    You also need t recheck your social skills and attitudes as they arent the best fit if you want to be compatible with someone else. I wouldnt worry too much though, just carry on until it settles down or the therapy helps you see things in perspective. Relationships going a bit bad is all part of the journey.
    • Political Ambassador
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    Risky thing to trust anyone else but yourself mate. You’re the only one who decides if it’s worth taking that risk or not. People can f*** you over at any point, but only because you allowed them to do so, you let them in.
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    a relationship is always a leap of faith. trust is unfortunately a big part of what makes a relationship fully functional and i'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. i've never been cheated on, but i've often feared of it happening because i know it would destroy me completely. the thing is, before i got with my girlfriend, we went out together about four times, without actually calling these outings 'dates' or whatever. why? to get to know each other better. once i knew i could fully trust her, i asked her if she wanted to be with me. it's about having that confidence in your partner to reciprocate the same feelings you have for her. once you feel that this girl can reciprocate and is special to you, then take another leap of faith, while leaving your past behind you. make sure this girl knows that you were cheated on, but don't use it as an excuse to increase surveillance over her.

    wounds heal. once they do, try it again and remember my advice. be 99% sure you can trust her. any higher and you're bound to get destroyed if anything should happen again.
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    There are very few people you can fully trust if any. Even your parents are almost always a bad idea to fully trust because they will lie to you in the name of sparing your feelings e.g. saying that your new outfit looks great even though it actually makes you look like a **** (trivial example but you know what I mean). In fact they have probably lied to you countless times throughout your life, but does this mean you are suddenly going to cut off your relationship with your parents? Of course not.

    Another thing you must realise is that it's absurd go into a relationship expecting it to work out amazingly and expecting you to never lie to each other. The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of relationships fail and even after getting married around 50% of marriages fail.

    If you understand these two facts then you can go into relationships as long as you are smart about it. Understand that the relationship could easily end at any moment and you could be getting lied to at any moment. Never get too emotionally invested in one partner and never rely on a partner financially/emotionally. If you cannot handle these facts then you should not enter any serious relationship because they will probably hurt you more than help you in the long run.
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    "I had been cheated on and as you would be I was devestated"

    If I was cheated on in any relationship I wouldn't be devastated. I'd be a bit surprised, but certainly not devastated. I'd ask the person who cheated on me how she felt about it all. And take things from there.

    Worse things have happened to me in my life than being cheated on. They didn't change me one bit - in terms of my behaviour. There's no point in living in the past.

    You could arm yourself with a few things that will significantly reduce the chance of you being cheated on by future romantic partners. I can tell you what the main ones are, if you like?
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    "I had been cheated on and as you would be I was devestated"

    If I was cheated on in any relationship I wouldn't be devastated. I'd be a bit surprised, but certainly not devastated. I'd ask the person who cheated on me how she felt about it all. And take things from there.

    Worse things have happened to me in my life than being cheated on. They didn't change me one bit - in terms of my behaviour. There's no point in living in the past.

    You could arm yourself with a few things that will significantly reduce the chance of you being cheated on by future romantic partners. I can tell you what the main ones are, if you like?

    We all have our own problems in life and I can assure you it’s not been plain sailing for myself yet being in a controlling relationship and being cheated on seem to top trumps for me. It just opens doors that I never did realise that people often use me just because I’m financially well off and I’ve never picked up on it. I now like to keep my circle small. I would appreciate any advice that you could give us would be a big help
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    OK, how to reduce your chances of being cheated on. This deserves a book sized reply to cover it properly. Main points.

    Recruitment. Get the right person (for you) in the first place. Big area. Needs a lot of discussion.

    Sex life. When I've discussed this with women that I've known, they've reported that the average mode of love-making from men is woefully low. So low that I'm surprised more women don't cheat more often. It's quite shocking how few men give their partners the gift of orgasms on a regular basis. And how many men make love the same way time after time after time. Resulting in a boring, or unsatisfying love life for the women. Getting relatively good at making love is relatively easy.
    The first time that you make love with someone is the most important. Give the woman an orgasm in a way she's never had before - eg from your penis inside her in missionary - and you'll have created the right assiciations in her mind that you are a better lover than all her previous ones. From there you'll have a honeymoon period. When that wears off it's important that you add some variety and imagination to your love life to keep it as fresh and exciting as you can.

    What you're like as person to share time and space with. Another huge area. Main things - try to do all the stuff from the classic Dale Carnegie books. Also, people tend to be on their best behaviour during the honeymoon period. When that wears off they tend to slip into "taking for granted mode" - where they treat their loved ones worse than they'd treat total strangers. Try to avoid falling into this trap as much as you can.


    We;'re not talking about perfection here. Just good enough. Good enough partner selection. Good enough love making. Good enough general behaviour in the long term.
    • #1
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    Nothing here I don’t already know mate sex has always been great. When you’ve been with someone for a year you the ‘honeymoon period’ seems to wear off it’s just the way it is. This is why I am very vain and find myself only having sex with good looking girls as I find that ‘honeymoon stage’ doesn’t really fade out for me. I’ve no problem with anything else it’s just trust. I need to take it with a pinch of salt and prepare for the worst if I’m to get any where
 
 
 
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