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Should i go travelling because i'm a loner and severely depressed watch

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    I've already my mind up anyway i am going travelling despite slight opposition. I'm currently trying to get into a work program with BUNAC (they're like ccusa, camp america type) for the summer working in american hospilalities such as resorts or restaurants (so far no progress)

    I am writing for advice as i am in uni with the worst situation for a student in history. I have not had friends since 2005 because well i am autistic, severely depressed and socially anxious and i am dying from these disorders. It is difficult to cope in uni or anywhere because i have no friends. I have tried everything in my head to make friends or at least to join or do something but they all ****ing fail. Now i have had enough and ever since brexit happened, i've had this strange desire to leave the UK and become a recluse or try and get a new life.

    The american work program which is 4 months (j1 visa and that) could give me some relief and try and explore a different type of social setting But my parents, despite their permission, are indirectly against it. My mum yet again mocking my poor social life and saying 'people who go travelling, go with their friends/

    Maybe i'm doing because i want to run away or something i dont know. I cant drop out of uni as graduation is July 2019 and i have not yet tell my parents i aint going to my own graduation as i have no friends. **** my life what should i do? have u ever done travelling because you are unsatisfied of life or something?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've already my mind up anyway i am going travelling despite slight opposition. I'm currently trying to get into a work program with BUNAC (they're like ccusa, camp america type) for the summer working in american hospilalities such as resorts or restaurants (so far no progress)

    I am writing for advice as i am in uni with the worst situation for a student in history. I have not had friends since 2005 because well i am autistic, severely depressed and socially anxious and i am dying from these disorders. It is difficult to cope in uni or anywhere because i have no friends. I have tried everything in my head to make friends or at least to join or do something but they all ****ing fail. Now i have had enough and ever since brexit happened, i've had this strange desire to leave the UK and become a recluse or try and get a new life.

    The american work program which is 4 months (j1 visa and that) could give me some relief and try and explore a different type of social setting But my parents, despite their permission, are indirectly against it. My mum yet again mocking my poor social life and saying 'people who go travelling, go with their friends/

    Maybe i'm doing because i want to run away or something i dont know. I cant drop out of uni as graduation is July 2019 and i have not yet tell my parents i aint going to my own graduation as i have no friends. **** my life what should i do? have u ever done travelling because you are unsatisfied of life or something?
    it sounds like you have really looked into BUNAC and really want to go. I myself moved to Canada for a year through uni, and being away from everything that I knew allowed me to reinvent myself, without all the pre-conceived ideas people had of me. I changed a lot in a good way and really grew.
    I will say that travelling isn't a magic sticker that will automatically make you feel better. you will have highs and lows, and there were times I still felt quite lonely. but it gives you the opportunity to grow.

    it sounds like it's something you want to do, so do it
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    I've recently been through a somewhat similar period in my life when my application for the army was turned down (it was b/c of my autism funnily enough). I had fallen out with my last set of friends (I can't maintain friendships, I burn through them like firewood), stupidly allowed a girl I fancied to slip through my fingers and I had gotten rubbish A-levels. The army, specifically the Parachute Regiment, had been a dream of mine since childhood and it was my last hope for a half-decent, fulfilling life. When I failed the medical, I seriously considered volunteering for the Kurdish YPG in Syria to fight ISIS despite the likelihood of death, simply because I had no idea what to do with my life,was borderline suicidal and I was frankly not myself. But then I gave myself something to look forward to. I envisioned a career in law enforcement and private security thanks to online encouragement and advice. I applied for policing degrees and I recieved an offer from my first choice. I'm currently hopping between *****y retail jobs and on Universal Credit but I now know it's only temporary. I've learned why I failed socially and academically and I'm ready to hopefully apply this knowledge to uni life in Sept 2018. In doing so, I've had to endure a barrage of criticism from my family who tell me University is unjustifiably expensive for someone like me, how I'm not suitable for further education and how I should just get an apprenticeship in plumbing or something else I have no interest in simply because it pays well. They could very well be right but the fact is I would rather off myself than get an apprenticeship in a job i couldn't give a flying f*ck about. Maybe I'll find myself in an even worse situation a couple of years from now but the point is this: I now feel optimistic and fulfilled. I have a reason not to jump off Beachy Head. It sounds like your in a worse place than I ever was and maybe I'm in no position to give you this advice but let me say this: Do what you have to to achieve some semblance of fulfillment, at least enough to stave of any suicidal thoughts or feelings of hoplessness that may sneak up on you. And for goodness sake, don't let your parents get you down. Just because they birthed you doesn't mean you have to take everything they say seriously. Case in point; I'm in peak physical condition thanks to regular resistance training and cardio. Despite this, my mother, father and grandparents are always trying to convince me I'm fat and unhealthy (I tell others this and they laugh). They say I should do some 'real' excercise like long distance running. On Christmas day, my mother kept staring at me and telling me to watch what I eat while my sadistic father smirked. Your mother is just another human being with a flawed personality. For all you know, she could be trying to limit your happiness. My father was exactly like that. Or maybe she's simply ignorant. If you think travelling will bring you closer to acheiving fulfillment and a better life, go for it. I can't afford to travel atm so I have no advice to offer on that I'm afraid. Whatever happens, it will certainly be a learning experience. Anyway, good luck. I hope you took something from my incoherent ramblings
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    it sounds like you have really looked into BUNAC and really want to go. I myself moved to Canada for a year through uni, and being away from everything that I knew allowed me to reinvent myself, without all the pre-conceived ideas people had of me. I changed a lot in a good way and really grew.
    I will say that travelling isn't a magic sticker that will automatically make you feel better. you will have highs and lows, and there were times I still felt quite lonely. but it gives you the opportunity to grow.

    it sounds like it's something you want to do, so do it
    that bit i highlighted, i 100% agree. I may not go through with it anymore because i don't want my parents to paint me as 'doing a runner to another country'. I just need to accept this is how my life is and using a once in a lifetime opportunity of going on a work program may either give me temporarily joy or more loneliness of pain.

    You planning to stay on canada for a while?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no friends.
    This, this, would be my idea of heaven....having no friends. Friends are a pain in the butt...the more you know the more problems you have the more distracted and less focused you become....lol

    Don't go travelling without a purpose. You'll come back with the same problems that you left with. Try and identify the problems that you have and ask yourself can I address any of these problems through travel? if the answer is yes...then go for it!! ...Going travelling might help build your confidence in yourself and your communication skills and help you make more friends and help with your depression...but yeah I wouldn't go travelling without setting myself some goals and objectives and a purpose to treat the problems that I have in dealing with people.
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    **** it, I'll come with you bro
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    It's cancelled. It would be wrong to go to america with very poor social skills and with my parents telling me 'your doing this because you are running away'. I will try and get a management job in hospitality during the summer to push myself to painful situation. I'm holding my breath and see what the future lies even though the future is ****
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    if traveling is something you really want to do though.....?

    I stayed in Canada for ten months straight before going back. there were lots of ups and downs, but it was good.

    but many people who go travelling are running away. I was partly running away, but the distance from my issues (in my case anyway) gave me time to think about it before coming back. So don't rule it out even if it is to run away for a little while
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    if traveling is something you really want to do though.....?

    I stayed in Canada for ten months straight before going back. there were lots of ups and downs, but it was good.

    but many people who go travelling are running away. I was partly running away, but the distance from my issues (in my case anyway) gave me time to think about it before coming back. So don't rule it out even if it is to run away for a little while
    Well it is just two months of travelling before i start my final painful year at uni.

    I've never really had the 'dream' to go to america but the opportunity just came up and i've always wanted to go travelling after brexit and whilst i have my parents permission to go, the way they will label me as 'a loner's decision to run away because he has no friends', I just can't deal with that.

    Did you ever think in your case about seeking help for your issues? or travelling was something you believe was going to solve your issues?
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    Everybody at some point makes a choice or decision that inevitably someone won't like, whether it be family or friends.

    My dad thought I was completely out of my mind when I told him I wanted to drive a bus which I did for 2 years.

    Back in 2010 after the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland and being encouraged by my mum, my dad ( who we lost last year ), my brother and sister aswell as my other half to study the subject and which will require a lot of travelling raised a few strange looks when I told them I decided that it was a more worthy career choice.

    My brother and sister thought I was absolutely nuts but my mum just said hey if its what I want to do then do it.

    My apologies for going around the houses a little bit but the general point is that if you have something you really want to do, go ahead and do it but most importantly, NEVER let anybody put you off following your path of what YOU want to do.

    I have also made that point to my daughters who are 19 & 18 respectively and they are now doing what they wanted to do because as their dad I thought if there is 1 piece of advice that will serve them well that is it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well it is just two months of travelling before i start my final painful year at uni.

    I've never really had the 'dream' to go to america but the opportunity just came up and i've always wanted to go travelling after brexit and whilst i have my parents permission to go, the way they will label me as 'a loner's decision to run away because he has no friends', I just can't deal with that.

    Did you ever think in your case about seeking help for your issues? or travelling was something you believe was going to solve your issues?
    Personally I don't think that your parents are very nice to accuse you of being a loner with no friends. like I said before, most travellers are running away.
    I went away and had time to look over the issues I had, and then I knew how to get over the issues when I got back.
    It's your life and your decision, and if you think it will do you good then you should do it
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    Travelling is something to be enjoyed and I think you want to travel for the wrong reasons.

    Don't get me wrong, you'll make new friends and stuff whilst travelling, however that is not treating the cause of the problem which is you are feeling unsatisfied.

    You need to work out how to solve this feeling you have.

    I've been abroad solo x3 , but I've done it simply because I enjoy the experience of being on my own and exploring the world. The sense of feeling 'Yes, I did it all by myself', it's the liberation part of it.
    You would want to do it for a similar reason, not because you feel depressed.

    Have you seen a doctor about your depression?
 
 
 
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