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Cat situation watch

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    #1

    Hi!

    I wanted to ask for your opinion and advice because I don't know who is in the wrong here.
    Basically, few months ago me and my boyfriend started thinking about getting a cat. Both of us grew up with cats (he had 6 of them!), we know lot about them and know all the costs etc. I'm quite organised person so I researched every single detail like veterinarian costs, insurance, took all worst case scenarios into an account and came into conclusion that I can indeed afford and care for this cat.
    The thing is, we share the house with one more couple. To present the idea to them I made a powerpoint presentation with all the research I've done etc. At the beginning they were okay with it but we thought it is better to wait until we move to the new house, to spare the feline additional stress. After we moved they kind of "forgot" about it. When I brought the topic up again they were behaving weird and couldn't come up with the straight answer. After Christmas, my boyfriends parents told us that if something would go wrong, they would take the cat so we relaxed even more because we knew that even if something would go horribly wrong, cat would have loving home.
    When we said that we will be getting a cat within 3 weeks and told them all about our idea AGAIN. They said yes and the seemed pretty excited about it. I had a cat picked up and I was supposed to bring it home within one month. After two weeks -lets call him Tom- started conversation about how he is now not sure about the cat and that they were speaking to a friend recently that she spent thousands upon thousands for a cat (still think theres a difference between adopted cat and maine coon or sphynx but they don't seem to get it) and that they don't think that I have enough money for it (!?).They didn't want to care for it which was instantly commented with "You won't have to, it's mine and Ida's cat, I'm providing for it and I care for it" but it wasn't enough apparently. I wasn't there but my boyfriend tried to explain and defend the idea but the more he was trying and the better arguments he was giving Tom just got up, shouted that there will be no cat in this house and ran upstairs to lock himself in a room. Proper tantrum. I was shocked and really sad. I went to great lenghts to convince them and since then they agreed to pet sit Tom's brother dog and had not consulted it with us. The pet sit him in out house every week. And baerly one week after the argument THEY GOT A HAMSTER. Without any questions or opinion, they just came home with a hamster. It has been a month after it happened but I'm still really resentful and hurt. My boyfriend gave up but I still feel very sad and I have a lot of anger built up. They are very often making decisions on their own without consultations, like turning down the heating in the coldest month of the year because "the bills are too high", but they are not. I'm constantly shivering and basically being angry and sad because of it. I just can't stand up for myself and they don't even know that they are behaving like a bullies.
    Please tell me, was I in the wrong ? I sometimes feel like a child that didn't get things its way and is throwing a tantrum but I do feel hurt by the whole situation.


    *Also worth mentioning, we do not live in the dorm or anything like that. We rent entire house with a garden. *
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi!

    I wanted to ask for your opinion and advice because I don't know who is in the wrong here.
    Basically, few months ago me and my boyfriend started thinking about getting a cat. Both of us grew up with cats (he had 6 of them!), we know lot about them and know all the costs etc. I'm quite organised person so I researched every single detail like veterinarian costs, insurance, took all worst case scenarios into an account and came into conclusion that I can indeed afford and care for this cat.
    The thing is, we share the house with one more couple. To present the idea to them I made a powerpoint presentation with all the research I've done etc. At the beginning they were okay with it but we thought it is better to wait until we move to the new house, to spare the feline additional stress. After we moved they kind of "forgot" about it. When I brought the topic up again they were behaving weird and couldn't come up with the straight answer. After Christmas, my boyfriends parents told us that if something would go wrong, they would take the cat so we relaxed even more because we knew that even if something would go horribly wrong, cat would have loving home.
    When we said that we will be getting a cat within 3 weeks and told them all about our idea AGAIN. They said yes and the seemed pretty excited about it. I had a cat picked up and I was supposed to bring it home within one month. After two weeks -lets call him Tom- started conversation about how he is now not sure about the cat and that they were speaking to a friend recently that she spent thousands upon thousands for a cat (still think theres a difference between adopted cat and maine coon or sphynx but they don't seem to get it) and that they don't think that I have enough money for it (!?).They didn't want to care for it which was instantly commented with "You won't have to, it's mine and Ida's cat, I'm providing for it and I care for it" but it wasn't enough apparently. I wasn't there but my boyfriend tried to explain and defend the idea but the more he was trying and the better arguments he was giving Tom just got up, shouted that there will be no cat in this house and ran upstairs to lock himself in a room. Proper tantrum. I was shocked and really sad. I went to great lenghts to convince them and since then they agreed to pet sit Tom's brother dog and had not consulted it with us. The pet sit him in out house every week. And baerly one week after the argument THEY GOT A HAMSTER. Without any questions or opinion, they just came home with a hamster. It has been a month after it happened but I'm still really resentful and hurt. My boyfriend gave up but I still feel very sad and I have a lot of anger built up. They are very often making decisions on their own without consultations, like turning down the heating in the coldest month of the year because "the bills are too high", but they are not. I'm constantly shivering and basically being angry and sad because of it. I just can't stand up for myself and they don't even know that they are behaving like a bullies.
    Please tell me, was I in the wrong ? I sometimes feel like a child that didn't get things its way and is throwing a tantrum but I do feel hurt by the whole situation.


    *Also worth mentioning, we do not live in the dorm or anything like that. We rent entire house with a garden. *
    I dont 100% understand but from what you wrote - I dont think you were in the wrong
    • #2
    #2

    my cat, had him since I was 4 so 12 years now, (he’s an oldie) we give him food, that’s pretty much all the cost (and some dreamies!) Cats are very easy and can be left alone for long periods of time (1-2 days max) they able to look after themselves and to prevent any kind of accidents with him we always make sure he has a reflective flea collar on so cars can see him if he goes on the road.
    Cats are nothing like the work of a dog and they are great!! The other couple should see this haha

    You were not in the wrong at all, they should have come to terms with it straight - I have never experienced sharing a house but both couples must have compromises at each end ?!
    Good luck!
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