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Do guys really look past a girl's looks? watch

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    I'm really low on self-esteem since starting uni. I'm not massive, but not slim either - a size ten I would say. My concern is that when I'm not slim, nor pretty, people will always look past me. I think I have a great personality when people get to know me, and I've even surprised people who have made assumptions about me due to me not being as pretty as the others. So, ultimately, would guys always be repulsed by me/not attracted to me because of my looks? Or do some actually focus on the personality?
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    i mean just like how girls do it , looks are a considering factor

    but if you stand out above other girls then you shouldn't have much of a problem
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    Its more health that guys look at, but they think its looks (in general, most people do this subconsciously - and other factors are social norms). If you stay healthy, and active, and be the best version of you (doesn't mean being skinny), then there is absolutely no reason for guys to "look past" you - i am sure you are beautiful, you just need to find your confidence which affects how you look - when you are happy and at your best internally, your face lights up, and your body language changes, this has a huge impact on people around, guys and girls.

    I hope this makes sense - i know its not common wording or common knowledge always - but i have gone through enough self doubt to be able to say, its just that, self doubt, nothing else.
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    Weight is not that important, it's what you look like. If you look good and some girls with some extra weight really do, if you have a cute face, etc, etc, then all's well. Girls focus on scale weight, that is not important, it's what you look like.

    As far as sex is concerned, guys have low standards. You can have sex with a lot of men if you're even minimally attractive. Or, if the guy's desperate, you can look like an ogre and he'll still have sex with you.

    As far as relationships are concerned, guys mostly don't look past looks (again, desperate guys will do anything but it's unlikely your relationship will last with someone like that). It's not the only thing that matters but we're extremely visual. Again, if you're really good looking and a **** person, you will probably end up with a *****y guy so looks isn't the only thing. But it's supreme and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Any guy here who has been in guy circles and is honest knows what it is we discuss about. It's not about the inner beauty of our crush or her encyclopaedic knowledge of the tulip mania. I know what 99% of the guys I've ever discussed with look for when they want to find a girl and it ain't her environmental conscience. It's shallow, physical traits plus some minimal form of kindness (just don't hate everyone or be a vindicate psycho, nothing too extreme), loyalty (no cheating, again nothing too extreme), being chill (no nagging or being annoying). But beyond those minimal positive personality traits, if he thinks you're hot, stuff will happen.

    Inb4 liars saying looks aren't important. Dream on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really low on self-esteem since starting uni. I'm not massive, but not slim either - a size ten I would say. My concern is that when I'm not slim, nor pretty, people will always look past me. I think I have a great personality when people get to know me, and I've even surprised people who have made assumptions about me due to me not being as pretty as the others. So, ultimately, would guys always be repulsed by me/not attracted to me because of my looks? Or do some actually focus on the personality?
    Guy here. Personally, looks are important for the initial attraction. By looks I mean of course your genetics and build, but also your facial expression and how friendly/happy/approachable you look. After that, it's all down to the personality. A 10/10 stunner with a bad personality is no use to anyone, except one night stands.

    So in short, looks bring people together initially, but personality holds them together. Lack of self esteem is quite obvious after a while and is not an attractive trait, so definitely work on your confidence and I'm sure you'll find someone.
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    Idk a lot of guys will inevitably care about your appearance because that's natural. I'm the runt of the litter when it comes to male attractiveness so I try to look past appearance as much as possible and I've been attracted to girls who I didn't initially find attractive because their personality made me attracted to them (I know it's a cliche but I don't know how else to describe it).
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    Eat a bit less - 300 calories less a day, and exercise a bit more, ie at 130 BPM pulse rate for 10 minutes every other day, and you'll lose 1 lb per week. In 6 months time you'd be a size 8 with more strength and energy reserves than you have now, Then all you'd need to do is wear clothes that accentuate your athletic body shape to reel them in.


    At uni there'll be plenty of guys that are so desperate that they'd go with Quasimodo if he had tits and a vagina.

    Your looks are no bar to you getting a boyfriend there. It's OK if he's a Desparate Dan as long as he's worth having as an overall package.

    You do sound like the sort of person that will have quality relationships more than a quantity of relationships. That's OK. Quality is better than quantity, unless the quality falls below twice per year, in which case it'd need looking into.
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    I would say looks are a factor to some people but honestly, everyone is different. Different people have different ideas on what they personally find attractive and I would say there's also going to be guys out there who would focus on your personality rather then looks. Honestly just be yourself and don't try to change to be fit to someone's standards and someone will be attracted to you!
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    Eat a bit less - 300 calories less a day, and exercise a bit more, ie at 130 BPM pulse rate for 10 minutes every other day, and you'll lose 1 lb per week. In 6 months time you'd be a size 8 with more strength and energy reserves than you have now, Then all you'd need to do is wear clothes that accentuate your athletic body shape to reel them in.


    At uni there'll be plenty of guys that are so desperate that they'd go with Quasimodo if he had tits and a vagina.

    Your looks are no bar to you getting a boyfriend there. It's OK if he's a Desparate Dan as long as he's worth having as an overall package.

    You do sound like the sort of person that will have quality relationships more than a quantity of relationships. That's OK. Quality is better than quantity, unless the quality falls below twice per year, in which case it'd need looking into.
    thanks for you advice, currently i'm eating less than i should anyway in terms of calories as you specified but as for the exercise regime thanks! i currently dont have a workout routine, i just do what i can with no particular structure
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really low on self-esteem since starting uni. I'm not massive, but not slim either - a size ten I would say. My concern is that when I'm not slim, nor pretty, people will always look past me. I think I have a great personality when people get to know me, and I've even surprised people who have made assumptions about me due to me not being as pretty as the others. So, ultimately, would guys always be repulsed by me/not attracted to me because of my looks? Or do some actually focus on the personality?


    Looks matter to guys but there is so much thirstiness amongst guys nowadays that it wouldn't be hard to get a guy on your looks level or somewhat above ..to start dating [if you are using internet dating, or going out to bars/pubs/clubs etc]

    whether or not they'd commit to a monogamous relationship with you is another matter, you may have to go through a few pumps and dumps first.........

    personality matters somewhat yes, but most guys [who have options] will not take a girl as their girlfriend unless they are genuinely decently attracted to her too...
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    thanks all for your feedback/advice!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really low on self-esteem since starting uni. I'm not massive, but not slim either - a size ten I would say. My concern is that when I'm not slim, nor pretty, people will always look past me. I think I have a great personality when people get to know me, and I've even surprised people who have made assumptions about me due to me not being as pretty as the others. So, ultimately, would guys always be repulsed by me/not attracted to me because of my looks? Or do some actually focus on the personality?
    I focus on the personality. The looks only play a small part for me (don't need to look good but can't be VERY ugly)
 
 
 
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