Turn on thread page Beta

My friends have left me and I still feel lonely and betrayed a year later... watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So I had these two amazing friends since I was little, one was the daughter of my mums friend so I knew her since she was born (I’ll call her Kylie lol) the other I met around 10 years old (I’ll call her Kendall)- I became distant from them because we lived separate lives but we rekindled around when I was 17/18 (I’m 21 now)

    So when I was friends with them it was separate like me and Kylie would hang out then we and Kendall, I did try to introduce them but it didn’t go well it was kinda messy so I left it to them, we made a group chat and they got acquainted it was nice

    Kylie had done some ****ed up things in the time we were friends again but I forgave her for it because I saw her like my sister

    Anyways when I was 20 I had to move abroad for studies which was really sad, I was leaving my family and friends and my whole life here to some place I really don’t like

    I had tried to organize to meet up with Kylie the week before I left but she wasn’t finding the time, then I told Kendall how it was really annoying that Kylie isn’t finding the time when I’m about to leave... Then Kendall was like that’s weird so why is she asking me to hang out? I was like oh that’s so weird well let’s all do something then
    So Kendall was like let’s do this but she said I doubt Kylie will come and it was true she didn’t show up.

    So I managed to see Kylie for an evening before I left but I saw Kendall more, and then the day after I left they both were hanging out which I did find kinda weird like how quickly that was but I didn’t mind at the same time cos they were my friends and i loved them both

    So things were fine, then I sent Kylie a few messages about an issue I was having but she deaded the convo with an “okay” so I didn’t really respond cos I just don’t when it’s a reply like that I kinda jus expect the other person to pick up the convo
    Then I realised two weeks later (I was really busy settling into a new country/getting an apartment sorted etc) that we hadn’t talked for a whole two weeks and it really pissed me off that she wasn’t making any effort but was constantly going here and there with Kendall ? So I had a go at her and ****ed her off basically - I said some things that were hurtful but that’s my defense mechanism, when I’m hurt I get like that
    She said something to me along the lines of “dont expect to say **** and get away with it btw” which I was like lol okay I’m not scared of this girl

    Anyways after a few months when I was coming back for Christmas I thoght I’d try apologize and patch things up and we did, so I thought things were cool
    Bare in mind I was only back for a week which wasn’t a lot of time

    So I was assuming we would all
    Do something when I got back but they were snap chatting together and I wasn’t there and I was thinking ?? But I didn’t say anything
    Then Kendall mentioned how she felt a bit awkward cos Kylie wasn’t comfortable ? I was like heh? So she has a problem still? So I confronted Kylie about this and she was making excuses up I was like you do realise I don’t have all the time in the world unlike you, that was a day I could’ve spent with the both of you and then the rest of the week with my family instesd there’s still an issue blaablaa then we talked about it and she was like I’m glad we’ve talked this through because I feel better now I was like I don’t ? Then we talked some
    More and I thought it was fine finally lol

    Then we all met for an evening but it was rushed so the only part I got to participate in was Kendall
    Coming to pick me up to go somewhere while dropping Kylie off home (something happened when they were on their way to me which cut the time short) but it was a decent car journey lol

    Anyways after that I tried with Kylie but I realised she was just responding for the sake of responding and Kendall and I talked about it and she was like I think sorry wasn’t enough

    I was like well she’s done a lot worse to me than what I said when I was upset... and I got over that lol - so that was the end of me and Kylie

    Anyways then a few months later, Kendall told me Kylie had told her that I said something about her in a *****y way but I clarified that’s not what I said and she’s just completely twisted something and made **** up (I told her exactly what I said and that it wasn’t what she was told)

    Anyways I got back for the summer, and I met up with Kendall - but then it was my birthday coming up and she didn’t really try to make plans with me
    Like I would constantly be like oh idk what to do for my birthday like dropping hints basically and she didn’t try to be like oh let’s do this and this (usually that’s what happens)
    Then she needed to go somewhere to meet a guy and she was like omg let’s go for your birthday for s road trip instead of me going with Kim (her other friend) on a later date since your bday is earlier

    I was like wtf ? I’m not a sloppy second lol just so she can meet a guy on my bday? What am I supposed to do ... so I told her I’m busy that I’ve already got plans last minute
    Anyways then it hit my bday and she said happy birthday an hour late and she said she totally forgot cos she was busy planning to go visit that guy with Kylie... so from this point onwards I started becoming very reserved with her I just felt very neglected when this was the only time I had back in the UK tbh I was really hurt I felt like a sideman and mugged off that she didn’t really try make bday plans or plans for later on
    Just cos I wasn’t free on my actual birth DAY didn’t mean we couldn’t do the plans the next day!! Damn

    Anyways after that she would try talk to me I would just dead it... she even invited Kylie to her graduation and I didn’t get an invite
    I found it so petty

    Me and Kendall had plans with our mutual friends khloe and kourtney, I told them it might be awkward between me and Kendall, then they ended up telling me oh Kendall is bringing Kylie so do you want to come another day? I was like wtf lol... so this was the last straw for me

    I sent Kendall a message saying how I felt and how ****ed it is that she’s bringing Kylie knowing I don’t want to see her... after finding out she told Kendall ******** that I never said... she was like oh **** this petty **** I haven’t got time for this or for you you don’t appreciate me or my friendship if I’m not trying there would be no friendship

    I was like well this girl hasn’t read or tried to understand anything I just said
    So I wrote a reply which I knew would help her understand but by the time I sent it she had blocked me off everything... I even sent it to Khloe to send to her and she told Khloe that she blocked me for a reason and that she’s not interested in reading that

    I sent her an email about two weeks later and she replied two weeks after that she doesn’t have the head space for it but wanted to reply to acknowledge the lengths I went to email her
    Anyways months later it’s New Years, and I send an email to Kendall to try clear the air
    She unblocked me and we talked like normal it was really nice, we had a massive catch up! Then for a few days she met up with Kylie a lot (saw it all over her Snapchat as she had added me back there too) so I didn’t disturb her when she was going here and there on motives

    Then I snapped her about packing my suitcase to go back to the UK and she aired it lol and I replied to a few stories of her going out to eat asking where these Places were and that’s the only Communication we’ve had really

    I stopped watching her snaps because it was too much for me to constantly see it kinda hurts man... then I realised she stopped watching my snaps too, so I started feel like lol this is awks...
    Then today she watched my story so I went to watch hers and she was out on a road trip with Kylie Kim and another girl who I think is Kylie’s friend, and idk it felt like she was just rubbing it in cos I think the only reason she watched my snap after a whole 10 days of avoiding my snaps was just to make me wanna watch hers...

    It’s starting to take a toll on me emotionally seeing them hang out and do things together is feeling **** especially because she never really asked about how it felt to be back home or what my
    Plans are now I’m back and all that stuff when she knew the dates I was coming and going cos we had talked about it ... anyways yeah... I don’t really know what to do now... is it a lost cause ? Do I just delete her ? Do I say something ? I’m scared to ask to meet and do something cos I feel like if she wanted to she would’ve ... and she hasn’t so I don’t want to put us both in an awkward position , or I could send a message saying it was nice catching up but I feel like it was too soon to be watching her snaps (she added me) cos it makes me feel **** and is a constant reminder basically explaining to her why I’m deleting her off snap and that it’s not in a petty way Incase she realises down the line

    I’ve spent tonight crying cos it hurts I lost two of my best friends and just when I thought things were looking up it just all feels malicious and petty... sorry this is long tbh don’t think anyone will read this even
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Whoa.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like an episode of keeping up with the Kardashian’s
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I had these two amazing friends since I was little, one was the daughter of my mums friend so I knew her since she was born (I’ll call her Kylie lol) the other I met around 10 years old (I’ll call her Kendall)- I became distant from them because we lived separate lives but we rekindled around when I was 17/18 (I’m 21 now)

    So when I was friends with them it was separate like me and Kylie would hang out then we and Kendall, I did try to introduce them but it didn’t go well it was kinda messy so I left it to them, we made a group chat and they got acquainted it was nice

    Kylie had done some ****ed up things in the time we were friends again but I forgave her for it because I saw her like my sister

    Anyways when I was 20 I had to move abroad for studies which was really sad, I was leaving my family and friends and my whole life here to some place I really don’t like

    I had tried to organize to meet up with Kylie the week before I left but she wasn’t finding the time, then I told Kendall how it was really annoying that Kylie isn’t finding the time when I’m about to leave... Then Kendall was like that’s weird so why is she asking me to hang out? I was like oh that’s so weird well let’s all do something then
    So Kendall was like let’s do this but she said I doubt Kylie will come and it was true she didn’t show up.

    So I managed to see Kylie for an evening before I left but I saw Kendall more, and then the day after I left they both were hanging out which I did find kinda weird like how quickly that was but I didn’t mind at the same time cos they were my friends and i loved them both

    So things were fine, then I sent Kylie a few messages about an issue I was having but she deaded the convo with an “okay” so I didn’t really respond cos I just don’t when it’s a reply like that I kinda jus expect the other person to pick up the convo
    Then I realised two weeks later (I was really busy settling into a new country/getting an apartment sorted etc) that we hadn’t talked for a whole two weeks and it really pissed me off that she wasn’t making any effort but was constantly going here and there with Kendall ? So I had a go at her and ****ed her off basically - I said some things that were hurtful but that’s my defense mechanism, when I’m hurt I get like that
    She said something to me along the lines of “dont expect to say **** and get away with it btw” which I was like lol okay I’m not scared of this girl

    Anyways after a few months when I was coming back for Christmas I thoght I’d try apologize and patch things up and we did, so I thought things were cool
    Bare in mind I was only back for a week which wasn’t a lot of time

    So I was assuming we would all
    Do something when I got back but they were snap chatting together and I wasn’t there and I was thinking ?? But I didn’t say anything
    Then Kendall mentioned how she felt a bit awkward cos Kylie wasn’t comfortable ? I was like heh? So she has a problem still? So I confronted Kylie about this and she was making excuses up I was like you do realise I don’t have all the time in the world unlike you, that was a day I could’ve spent with the both of you and then the rest of the week with my family instesd there’s still an issue blaablaa then we talked about it and she was like I’m glad we’ve talked this through because I feel better now I was like I don’t ? Then we talked some
    More and I thought it was fine finally lol

    Then we all met for an evening but it was rushed so the only part I got to participate in was Kendall
    Coming to pick me up to go somewhere while dropping Kylie off home (something happened when they were on their way to me which cut the time short) but it was a decent car journey lol

    Anyways after that I tried with Kylie but I realised she was just responding for the sake of responding and Kendall and I talked about it and she was like I think sorry wasn’t enough

    I was like well she’s done a lot worse to me than what I said when I was upset... and I got over that lol - so that was the end of me and Kylie

    Anyways then a few months later, Kendall told me Kylie had told her that I said something about her in a *****y way but I clarified that’s not what I said and she’s just completely twisted something and made **** up (I told her exactly what I said and that it wasn’t what she was told)

    Anyways I got back for the summer, and I met up with Kendall - but then it was my birthday coming up and she didn’t really try to make plans with me
    Like I would constantly be like oh idk what to do for my birthday like dropping hints basically and she didn’t try to be like oh let’s do this and this (usually that’s what happens)
    Then she needed to go somewhere to meet a guy and she was like omg let’s go for your birthday for s road trip instead of me going with Kim (her other friend) on a later date since your bday is earlier

    I was like wtf ? I’m not a sloppy second lol just so she can meet a guy on my bday? What am I supposed to do ... so I told her I’m busy that I’ve already got plans last minute
    Anyways then it hit my bday and she said happy birthday an hour late and she said she totally forgot cos she was busy planning to go visit that guy with Kylie... so from this point onwards I started becoming very reserved with her I just felt very neglected when this was the only time I had back in the UK tbh I was really hurt I felt like a sideman and mugged off that she didn’t really try make bday plans or plans for later on
    Just cos I wasn’t free on my actual birth DAY didn’t mean we couldn’t do the plans the next day!! Damn

    Anyways after that she would try talk to me I would just dead it... she even invited Kylie to her graduation and I didn’t get an invite
    I found it so petty

    Me and Kendall had plans with our mutual friends khloe and kourtney, I told them it might be awkward between me and Kendall, then they ended up telling me oh Kendall is bringing Kylie so do you want to come another day? I was like wtf lol... so this was the last straw for me

    I sent Kendall a message saying how I felt and how ****ed it is that she’s bringing Kylie knowing I don’t want to see her... after finding out she told Kendall ******** that I never said... she was like oh **** this petty **** I haven’t got time for this or for you you don’t appreciate me or my friendship if I’m not trying there would be no friendship

    I was like well this girl hasn’t read or tried to understand anything I just said
    So I wrote a reply which I knew would help her understand but by the time I sent it she had blocked me off everything... I even sent it to Khloe to send to her and she told Khloe that she blocked me for a reason and that she’s not interested in reading that

    I sent her an email about two weeks later and she replied two weeks after that she doesn’t have the head space for it but wanted to reply to acknowledge the lengths I went to email her
    Anyways months later it’s New Years, and I send an email to Kendall to try clear the air
    She unblocked me and we talked like normal it was really nice, we had a massive catch up! Then for a few days she met up with Kylie a lot (saw it all over her Snapchat as she had added me back there too) so I didn’t disturb her when she was going here and there on motives

    Then I snapped her about packing my suitcase to go back to the UK and she aired it lol and I replied to a few stories of her going out to eat asking where these Places were and that’s the only Communication we’ve had really

    I stopped watching her snaps because it was too much for me to constantly see it kinda hurts man... then I realised she stopped watching my snaps too, so I started feel like lol this is awks...
    Then today she watched my story so I went to watch hers and she was out on a road trip with Kylie Kim and another girl who I think is Kylie’s friend, and idk it felt like she was just rubbing it in cos I think the only reason she watched my snap after a whole 10 days of avoiding my snaps was just to make me wanna watch hers...

    It’s starting to take a toll on me emotionally seeing them hang out and do things together is feeling **** especially because she never really asked about how it felt to be back home or what my
    Plans are now I’m back and all that stuff when she knew the dates I was coming and going cos we had talked about it ... anyways yeah... I don’t really know what to do now... is it a lost cause ? Do I just delete her ? Do I say something ? I’m scared to ask to meet and do something cos I feel like if she wanted to she would’ve ... and she hasn’t so I don’t want to put us both in an awkward position , or I could send a message saying it was nice catching up but I feel like it was too soon to be watching her snaps (she added me) cos it makes me feel **** and is a constant reminder basically explaining to her why I’m deleting her off snap and that it’s not in a petty way Incase she realises down the line

    I’ve spent tonight crying cos it hurts I lost two of my best friends and just when I thought things were looking up it just all feels malicious and petty... sorry this is long tbh don’t think anyone will read this even
    These people are clearly not good for your emotional well being. It's not just a week, this has been going on for all this time!

    End it and move on. Yes it may be hard at first but once you get to meet new people you'll be very glad you did so.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    https://youtu.be/qYB1NZcPvqs

    Tldr

    Ditch the drama get new friends
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by _Fergo)
    These people are clearly not good for your emotional well being. It's not just a week, this has been going on for all this time!

    End it and move on. Yes it may be hard at first but once you get to meet new people you'll be very glad you did so.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I feel like it’s at such an awkward stage like up in the air how do I go about doing this... need to remove her off my Snapchat because it’s too much now... but I dunno if I should say something if I do, or try one more last time, or just delete her no explanation ... feel so misunderstood by her but I don’t think this will ever change!
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like it’s at such an awkward stage like up in the air how do I go about doing this... need to remove her off my Snapchat because it’s too much now... but I dunno if I should say something if I do, or try one more last time, or just delete her no explanation ... feel so misunderstood by her but I don’t think this will ever change!
    You have already tried numerous times with both of them from what you're saying. They clearly don't seem to care that much and you're only going to get yourself hurt further.

    You should not block them or anything, as that would give validation on my opinion. If Snapchat is a particular problem though then do remove them there. Other than that, just don't bother with them again.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by _Fergo)
    You have already tried numerous times with both of them from what you're saying. They clearly don't seem to care that much and you're only going to get yourself hurt further.

    You should not block them or anything, as that would give validation on my opinion. If Snapchat is a particular problem though then do remove them there. Other than that, just don't bother with them again.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I agree.
    I read your post, OP. And I want to say that best friends can disappear overnight, so although this probably sounds silly, try to spend your life doing something you love. You’ll meet new, kinder people along the way. It’s better that you recognise these people are malicious and manipulative now, than you keep talking to them under the pretence that you seemed to have a good thing going. If they block you, do you really want to have that type of moron as a friend? I wouldn’t.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by _Fergo)
    You have already tried numerous times with both of them from what you're saying. They clearly don't seem to care that much and you're only going to get yourself hurt further.

    You should not block them or anything, as that would give validation on my opinion. If Snapchat is a particular problem though then do remove them there. Other than that, just don't bother with them again.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It’s just Kendall who I have on snap Kylie is just always with her so it’s like having them both, but yeah... I guess it’s a lost cause then... I feel **** cos they were the people closest to me and I didn’t really do anything to deserve this I was a really good friend i just guess for them it’s easy to live without me cos they have each other, whereas I’m the one who is alone now.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It’s just Kendall who I have on snap Kylie is just always with her so it’s like having them both, but yeah... I guess it’s a lost cause then... I feel **** cos they were the people closest to me and I didn’t really do anything to deserve this I was a really good friend i just guess for them it’s easy to live without me cos they have each other, whereas I’m the one who is alone now.
    I understand how much it must hurt, especially since you're the reason they know each other now. It's terrible that start hanging out with each other and not tell you anything, let alone not find time on your birthday!

    Find new people to hang out with and forget them. You'll be thankful later on. It's just this one obstacle you have to overcome!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    da *** make new friends everyone I knew graduated when came back from placement had to make new ones better ones arguably
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by _Fergo)
    I understand how much it must hurt, especially since you're the reason they know each other now. It's terrible that start hanging out with each other and not tell you anything, let alone not find time on your birthday!

    Find new people to hang out with and forget them. You'll be thankful later on. It's just this one obstacle you have to overcome!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yeah... that’s what makes it worse it’s like they’ve replaced me with each other and I watch them do stuff that I used to do with them and theuve just found each other and gotten rid of me.. I dunno where to find people like them
    We came from the same backgrounds they’ve been there through a lot of my life like a lot of my memories involves them! Especially Kendall!! I don’t know where I can even replace that kind of friendship...
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dominoes)
    da *** make new friends everyone I knew graduated when came back from placement had to make new ones better ones arguably
    Itsnot that easy for me I only get along well with people from the same background as me the same race as me same morals and values and lifestyle etc etc
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DentPrincess)
    Itsnot that easy for me I only get along well with people from the same background as me the same race as me same morals and values and lifestyle etc etc
    Why is that?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by OCR_B)
    Why is that?
    Because I don’t pass time like a lot of the people st uni, I don’t drink or do drugs, I don’t club, and being s minority I only really feel like someone will understand where I come from is when they’re the same as me if you get what I mean? It’s hard to explain but I don’t wanna elaborate too much into that ... there’s just not many people like me or Kylie and Kendall so losing them isn’t replaceable tbh
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because I don’t pass time like a lot of the people st uni, I don’t drink or do drugs, I don’t club, and being s minority I only really feel like someone will understand where I come from is when they’re the same as me if you get what I mean? It’s hard to explain but I don’t wanna elaborate too much into that ... there’s just not many people like me or Kylie and Kendall so losing them isn’t replaceable tbh
    I know how you feel. You’re right - maybe they’re not replaceable. But maybe this is life’s way of telling you to try and find something new.
    I don’t know if I agree with you so much about the background part, but I don’t want to go into dodgy territory there either. Try and be open, talk to new people. It’s not easy, I know, especially if you’re a certain type of person. But one thing’s for sure, you shouldn’t maintain a relationship with these two people who frankly, clearly don’t give a toss about you.
    The future will be brighter, but you’ll have to meet different people.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by OCR_B)
    I know how you feel. You’re right - maybe they’re not replaceable. But maybe this is life’s way of telling you to try and find something new.
    I don’t know if I agree with you so much about the background part, but I don’t want to go into dodgy territory there either. Try and be open, talk to new people. It’s not easy, I know, especially if you’re a certain type of person. But one thing’s for sure, you shouldn’t maintain a relationship with these two people who frankly, clearly don’t give a toss about you.
    The future will be brighter, but you’ll have to meet different people.
    It’s not necessary in a friendship for me but it did help us feel a lot closer, the main thing is our personalities fit perfectly so that itself will be hard to replace nevermind everything else ffssss I just wish there was something I could do or maybe they’ll feel different one day but I guess I just haven’t moved on and they have ...
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #3
    #3

    Holy ****ing **** I’ve experienced a very similar situation multiple times, each one hurt more as it went. People are snakes, they won’t change anytime soon, don’t come back to them
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Enginerd.)
    Whoa.


    I only made it like half of the way though

    it's 9AM in the morning..





    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    I only made it like half of the way though

    it's 9AM in the morning..





    You beat me, I only scrolled through it, got me tired and went to sleep.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 16, 2018
Poll
Is the Big Bang theory correct?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.