boyfriends mum called me ex's name for the second time?!

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Anonymous #1
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hey

so i have been with my boyfriend for two years. he had a girlfriend before me for 5 years and they broke up 2 years before i got together with him. about a year ago, his mum called me her name. she didn't do it again until two days ago. i just don't understand why she is calling me it? they broke up FOUR years ago and she hasn't seen the ex since. and I've been with him for two years.. my friends have said she has only called me it twice so its fine. but i just don't understand why after all this time it would come up? she apologised and said she is very tired and she was a bit ill with an infection and headache. i don't know.. i was very upset about it. i did over react slightly. both times she called me the ex's name i got up and just walked out of the house without saying anything because i cant cope with it. my bf doesnt speak to her either so i just don't understand. I'm really upset about it because the ex has been an issue quite a lot before and it was all fine until she said the name again.
should i just let it go? what do you think about it all because i don't know what to think, i feel so upset. i just don't understand!

thank you
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ruthf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey

so i have been with my boyfriend for two years. he had a girlfriend before me for 5 years and they broke up 2 years before i got together with him. about a year ago, his mum called me her name. she didn't do it again until two days ago. i just don't understand why she is calling me it? they broke up FOUR years ago and she hasn't seen the ex since. and I've been with him for two years.. my friends have said she has only called me it twice so its fine. but i just don't understand why after all this time it would come up? she apologised and said she is very tired and she was a bit ill with an infection and headache. i don't know.. i was very upset about it. i did over react slightly. both times she called me the ex's name i got up and just walked out of the house without saying anything because i cant cope with it. my bf doesnt speak to her either so i just don't understand. I'm really upset about it because the ex has been an issue quite a lot before and it was all fine until she said the name again.
should i just let it go? what do you think about it all because i don't know what to think, i feel so upset. i just don't understand!

thank you
I had a boyfriend got 3 years but we broke up over 2 years ago now. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about a year and a half. My dad still very occasionally calls him Ryan (my ex boyfriends name). It means nothing so I’d try to relax about it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ruthflame57)
I had a boyfriend got 3 years but we broke up over 2 years ago now. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about a year and a half. My dad still very occasionally calls him Ryan (my ex boyfriends name). It means nothing so I’d try to relax about it.
thanks for the reply I'm just struggling to understand why after all that time it would be said though?
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Anonymous #2
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I've had that happen to me with both my exes mum's. I think it's a pretty common accident especially when the ex was so long term. You might also be quite similar to his ex and so you remind his mum of her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've had that happen to me with both my exes mum's. I think it's a pretty common accident especially when the ex was so long term. You might also be quite similar to his ex and so you remind his mum of her.
i hope not!! apparently she was horrible and made everyone miserable and was hard to get on with. i get on better with my bfs mum than i do my own mum
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Tubbz
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Could just be that she prefers his ex to you?

Don't dwell on it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tubbz)
Could just be that she prefers his ex to you?

Don't dwell on it.
she said they never got on and no one in the family liked her..
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Good bloke
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm just struggling to understand why after all that time it would be said though?
A more serious thing to give thought to is why anyone would feel it necessary to walk out of the room and be so dramatic about a silly and trivial mistake. I call my son by his brother's name all the time. It matters not and means nothing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Good bloke)
A more serious thing to give thought to is why anyone would feel it necessary to walk out of the room and be so dramatic about a silly and trivial mistake. I call my son by his brother's name all the time. It matters not and means nothing.
it makes sense for you to call your son his brothers name as you see them constantly, i guess what I'm confused about is why her name is still being said after four whole years.
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Notoriety
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it makes sense for you to call your son his brothers name as you see them constantly, i guess what I'm confused about is why her name is still being said after four whole years.
There is naturally an association in her mind between you and the ex. Why would there not be an association?

You are making a mountain out of a molehill.
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Good bloke
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it makes sense for you to call your son his brothers name as you see them constantly
No I don't.
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Tubbz
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(Original post by Anonymous)
she said they never got on and no one in the family liked her..
Could just be what she's told you. Could be that's how they feel about you but they're sugar coating it because that's what your BF wants.
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Good bloke
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(Original post by Anonymous)
what I'm confused about is why her name is still being said after four whole years.
You are making it all about you. The truth is that someone else has had a trivial and momentary memory lapse. You want to dramatise it into a ritual rejection that isn't intended, but which your own silly behaviour may lead to.
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marple
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey

so i have been with my boyfriend for two years. he had a girlfriend before me for 5 years and they broke up 2 years before i got together with him. about a year ago, his mum called me her name. she didn't do it again until two days ago. i just don't understand why she is calling me it? they broke up FOUR years ago and she hasn't seen the ex since. and I've been with him for two years.. my friends have said she has only called me it twice so its fine. but i just don't understand why after all this time it would come up? she apologised and said she is very tired and she was a bit ill with an infection and headache. i don't know.. i was very upset about it. i did over react slightly. both times she called me the ex's name i got up and just walked out of the house without saying anything because i cant cope with it. my bf doesnt speak to her either so i just don't understand. I'm really upset about it because the ex has been an issue quite a lot before and it was all fine until she said the name again.
should i just let it go? what do you think about it all because i don't know what to think, i feel so upset. i just don't understand!

thank you
This has clearly upset you but I have to say your reaction is very extreme. His mother just got names muddled - it happens to people all the time and I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it. She linked the other girl's name with his for 5 years so it's hardly surprising. People speak without thinking all the time.

If you want to maintain a decent relationship with his family you should go back and apologise to her and explain you're just a bit sensitive about his ex. She must want to get along with you as she hasn't confronted you about your rather rude behaviour.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey

so i have been with my boyfriend for two years. he had a girlfriend before me for 5 years and they broke up 2 years before i got together with him. about a year ago, his mum called me her name. she didn't do it again until two days ago. i just don't understand why she is calling me it? they broke up FOUR years ago and she hasn't seen the ex since. and I've been with him for two years.. my friends have said she has only called me it twice so its fine. but i just don't understand why after all this time it would come up? she apologised and said she is very tired and she was a bit ill with an infection and headache. i don't know.. i was very upset about it. i did over react slightly. both times she called me the ex's name i got up and just walked out of the house without saying anything because i cant cope with it. my bf doesnt speak to her either so i just don't understand. I'm really upset about it because the ex has been an issue quite a lot before and it was all fine until she said the name again.
should i just let it go? what do you think about it all because i don't know what to think, i feel so upset. i just don't understand!

thank you
Overreaction. People get tired and sometimes forget. Doesnt sound malicious.
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TrelaiBoy
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Mountain. Molehill.
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lizardking987
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(Original post by Tubbz)
Could just be that she prefers his ex to you?

Don't dwell on it.
rofl
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by marple)
This has clearly upset you but I have to say your reaction is very extreme. His mother just got names muddled - it happens to people all the time and I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it. She linked the other girl's name with his for 5 years so it's hardly surprising. People speak without thinking all the time.

If you want to maintain a decent relationship with his family you should go back and apologise to her and explain you're just a bit sensitive about his ex. She must want to get along with you as she hasn't confronted you about your rather rude behaviour.
yes i do regret the way i reacted. i have arranged to see her today so i can apologise properly
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marple
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yes i do regret the way i reacted. i have arranged to see her today so i can apologise properly
I'm sure she'll appreciate it. She's his mother and will value the fact that you care so much about her son and want to develop a good relationship with her and the rest of his family.
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ruthf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks for the reply I'm just struggling to understand why after all that time it would be said though?
My dad is just forgetful, maybe his Mum is the same!
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