Turn on thread page Beta

boyfriends mum called me ex's name for the second time?! watch

    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks for the reply I'm just struggling to understand why after all that time it would be said though?
    My dad is just forgetful, maybe his Mum is the same!
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #3
    #3

    Maybe you should stop wasting people's time with such trivial stuff. She called you by the wrong name WHO CARES?????
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    i'm sure it's an accident, I mean my mum sometimes call me my sister's name or dad's name! it slips out sometimes
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    To be fair my mum has called me my dogs name, I wouldn't read into it too much.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    1/10
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by student2134)
    To be fair my mum has called me my dogs name, I wouldn't read into it too much.
    :rofl2:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't think much of it. My mum get's mine and my brothers names mixed up all the time. XD
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Back when I was at secondary school, I called my teacher mum once or twice

    name slips happen, don't overreact
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I have dated my boyfriend for 3 years and both his parents called me his exes name (ex fiancée) before. They corrected themselves naturally and seemed a bit embarrassed or afraid I might have been offended. I just smiled and let the feeling go passed me. We both went on as nothing has happened, and the feeling was gone. I didn't want to dwell on it. I just thought there is a reason why it didn't work out for them and I am in a happy spot with my boyfriend and both his parents love me very much. Stay confident, don't dwell on the small stuff. If you know you have a strong relationship with him then this shouldn't matter. Mistakes happen. My mom goes through all my siblings names before saying mine. We cannot undo their past (she is part of his past and it's only natural they still remember her, muscle memory.) It sounds to me that you are a bit insecure. If you really have a strong relationship with him and his parents love you then you shouldn't have this feeling. Maybe try and spend some time with them (after all they are family). You'll see they will soon forget about her name and start saying yours more fluidly. Getting emotional or overreacting just shows your insecurity. Confidence speaks. If I had a son, his ideal girlfriend would be confident and be able to be level-headed. Problem-solve and not make small stuff into a bigger issue. Look at it from their perspective. What kind of girlfriend would you like your son to have? Be that person.
    • Study Helper
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    Do not dwell on trivia. Some people have trouble remembering their own name.

    The time to worry is when your boyfriend calls you by his ex's name.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Better hope he doesn't do it mid shag on valentines day. Lol.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    At least it wasn't during sex...was it?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I can see both sides, it's just likely a throwaway mistake with nothing behind it, somewhere in her mind there is a space marked 'Sons girlfriend' and the exs name was on it for 5 years, that's an association that won't just vanish.

    On the other, I can totally see why that would push your buttons a bit, you're your own person and likely don't like being verbally compared to an ex, saying exs names in general is a bit iffy.

    I don't think there's any point taking it personally or making drama from it, just respectfully correct it when it happens, if you're meeting her I'd likely go with "I'm sorry i overreacted it wasn't appropriate, BUT, can you understand why being called an exs name, even in error could be upsetting?' and i'd v surprised if she didnt.
    • TSR Group Staff
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Group Staff
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hey

    so i have been with my boyfriend for two years. he had a girlfriend before me for 5 years and they broke up 2 years before i got together with him. about a year ago, his mum called me her name. she didn't do it again until two days ago. i just don't understand why she is calling me it? they broke up FOUR years ago and she hasn't seen the ex since. and I've been with him for two years.. my friends have said she has only called me it twice so its fine. but i just don't understand why after all this time it would come up? she apologised and said she is very tired and she was a bit ill with an infection and headache. i don't know.. i was very upset about it. i did over react slightly. both times she called me the ex's name i got up and just walked out of the house without saying anything because i cant cope with it. my bf doesnt speak to her either so i just don't understand. I'm really upset about it because the ex has been an issue quite a lot before and it was all fine until she said the name again.
    should i just let it go? what do you think about it all because i don't know what to think, i feel so upset. i just don't understand!

    thank you
    I'm sure it was just an accident, don't read much into it! Especially if she apologised and was a bit ill.

    I was with my ex for 5 years and my sister still calls my boyfriend by my ex's name sometimes. She's just a bit ditzy. It doesn't upset him though, he just calls her random names like "Kevin" back.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    You shouldn't storm out of a house over something like this. You're not showing yourself to be a mature and calm individual; most people can differentiate between huge insults and tiny mishaps. You do not seem able to do this.

    I'm not meaning to be harsh, but I think you have a bit of growing up to do. Best apologise to his mum, I'd be horrified and embarrassed if any of my partners treat my mum like this.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by gerk)
    You shouldn't storm out of a house over something like this. You're not showing yourself to be a mature and calm individual; most people can differentiate between huge insults and tiny mishaps. You do not seem able to do this.

    I'm not meaning to be harsh, but I think you have a bit of growing up to do. Best apologise to his mum, I'd be horrified and embarrassed if any of my partners treat my mum like this.
    I’m not offended, I agree with you. I need to grow up when it comes to stuff like this but I find it hard to let things go and I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish I would just grow up. I am 19 and he’s 23 so there is a maturity difference probably and I just don’t understand what having an ex is like I guess and I don’t have that experience so it’s hard for me
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jedbom10)
    I have dated my boyfriend for 3 years and both his parents called me his exes name (ex fiancée) before. They corrected themselves naturally and seemed a bit embarrassed or afraid I might have been offended. I just smiled and let the feeling go passed me. We both went on as nothing has happened, and the feeling was gone. I didn't want to dwell on it. I just thought there is a reason why it didn't work out for them and I am in a happy spot with my boyfriend and both his parents love me very much. Stay confident, don't dwell on the small stuff. If you know you have a strong relationship with him then this shouldn't matter. Mistakes happen. My mom goes through all my siblings names before saying mine. We cannot undo their past (she is part of his past and it's only natural they still remember her, muscle memory.) It sounds to me that you are a bit insecure. If you really have a strong relationship with him and his parents love you then you shouldn't have this feeling. Maybe try and spend some time with them (after all they are family). You'll see they will soon forget about her name and start saying yours more fluidly. Getting emotional or overreacting just shows your insecurity. Confidence speaks. If I had a son, his ideal girlfriend would be confident and be able to be level-headed. Problem-solve and not make small stuff into a bigger issue. Look at it from their perspective. What kind of girlfriend would you like your son to have? Be that person.
    Thank you this really helped. Does it not bother you though that the ex is still on their minds and on your bf’s mind after the name has been said?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m not offended, I agree with you. I need to grow up when it comes to stuff like this but I find it hard to let things go and I let my emotions get the better of me. I wish I would just grow up. I am 19 and he’s 23 so there is a maturity difference probably and I just don’t understand what having an ex is like I guess and I don’t have that experience so it’s hard for me
    Ah, this makes more sense. If he's your first relationship it can be incredibly difficult. I remember I was very much like you with my first 'proper' boyfriend (in some ways I was sometimes even a bit crazy, lol).

    Try not to take things to heart, and rationalise situations like these in the future. Perhaps just take a breather and if what happened won't impact you relationship, just brush it off. I've had boyfriend's parents call me by his exes name before. It's awkward, certainly, but as long as it wasn't done with a smirk there's no harm done.

    Best of luck to you and your relationship x
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    I would say that you have every right to be upset or mad but its best that you don't storm out as that will look bad on you as it will make you look im-mature and childish. I would advise that you talk to him as im studying Health and Social Care, and I have learnt that communication is key in a relationship. Make sure you have active listening which means:

    Paying attention
    Looking at your partner when they are talking
    Do not talk when he is talking, wait till he has finished or it may lead to an argument
    Ask questions
    Visualise what is being said, so then you can understand what he is saying

    Hope this helps
    • #4
    #4

    Don't worry, i've often made the same mistake with my sibling's S/O. It doesn't mean anything but is just an awkward situation
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Boyfriend are had to understand sometimes i’am 13 years old and my boyfriend was with me then he went with a other girl that I hate but now he want me back but i’am taken by this boy that looks after me very well if I cry he sees if i’am ok and gives me a hug or a little kiss on the cheek and his name is bobby he is 14 years old now but my mum said I could only be with a boy that treats me right and looks after me very well to and I found my boy all ready he goes to my school I love him until mylife ends and until I die ❤️ 😘 👫💑💏🤞🏼😍
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 25, 2018
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.