Turn on thread page Beta

Crush for 1.5 years...and I didn't know!!! watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    My friend just told me that a guy I'm friends with has had a crush on me for 1.5 years although he knows I only like him as a friend. What should I do?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    nyxnko_ any help?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    When you say he 'knows' that you only like him as a friend, have you actually had this discussion with him? If not, then i think you need to. It's better for you, and much kinder to him, to let him down now than there be any small amount of hope for him to get with you.

    If he really does know and you are certain of this, there's not much you can do other than try to distance yourself from him if it makes you uncomfortable. He'll probably still crush on you regardless, there's no stopping that.

    From experience being on both sides of this problem over the years, this kind of thing changes a friendship massively and there is no coming back from it unless either he finds a way not to feel like that or at the very least not make things weird between you, or you change your mind and get with him.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Donnalouise99)
    When you say he 'knows' that you only like him as a friend, have you actually had this discussion with him? If not, then i think you need to. It's better for you, and much kinder to him, to let him down now than there be any small amount of hope for him to get with you.

    If he really does know and you are certain of this, there's not much you can do other than try to distance yourself from him if it makes you uncomfortable. He'll probably still crush on you regardless, there's no stopping that.

    From experience being on both sides of this problem over the years, this kind of thing changes a friendship massively and there is no coming back from it unless either he finds a way not to feel like that or at the very least not make things weird between you, or you change your mind and get with him.
    I've had convos with him saying I'm not getting a boyfriend until Uni and that I only see him as a friend and he clearly knows this, that's why he didn't ask me out. I just feel bad for him as I'm sort of oblivious to these things and I sort of have to see him every week for table tennis. Should I stop talking to him completely or just stop playing table tennis with him? There's no polite way of saying 'I don't want to have a hit with you, plz go away'!
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Angel_Chen)
    My friend just told me that a guy I'm friends with has had a crush on me for 1.5 years although he knows I only like him as a friend. What shoud I do?
    Tell him you dont like him like that and move on, geez 1.5 years is abit much dont u think?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    Tell him you dont like him like that and move on, geez 1.5 years is abit much dont u think?
    That's the thing he knows I don't like him like that and he still has had a crush on me for 1.5 years. I've never seen him as more than a friend and he's not my type. Also I didn't know until my friend told me today although she wasn't meant to. I see him tomorrow and I can't tell him I know!
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like he's holding out and waiting for you to feel the same way about him.

    You can't change how he feels, it's not going to happen, the guy is completely love struck. So you have to either put up with it and keep reminding him at any opportunity that it's not going to happen... or walk away.

    It might be an idea (if you get chance to bring it up again and talk about it) to say that not only are you waiting until uni to even think about getting a boyfriend, but that you don't see him as being a boyfriend even then. He might be waiting for you to go to uni in the hope that you'll be ready for him! When you are infatuated with someone it's easy to trick yourself into thinking irrational things like this and clinging onto any hope that can be found even if it contradicts the rest of the conversation. It sounds cruel and i get how hard this is to do but you can't give him any hope at all that there is any chance at any time in the future, if that's how you feel. If you care at all about him as a friend, you are going to have to do this.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    You can't always control who you have feelings for. So go easy on him. He didn't come on to you - he didn't go begging to you - your friend ratted him out.
    Continue to be friends with him don't change your friendship with him at all. There is no need to discuss anything because he already knows that ..... after 1.5 yrs of crushing on you.... you are not interested in him in any way more than just friends. He already knows.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 14, 2018
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.