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female bisexual and muslim... watch

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    (Original post by solitaireegg)
    Recently, I have discovered my attraction to both genders and have been fighting a war inside my head to decide what this means. I was born a Muslim to Muslim parents and family (but I deem myself as a maybe-maybe-not-an-atheist) so this obviously causes problems with my assigned religion and parents. I am afraid it will eventually affect my mental health and I just want to ask for advice about both leaving religion and coming out to my family. FYI, I have a good relationship with both my mother and father and I live in the UK.
    You were not born Muslim. Nobody is born into a religion. Your parents/family convert you and it is you who affirm such beliefs at a more mature time.

    If you do not believe in the fundamental principles of Islam, then feel free to live your life the way you see fit. I would suggest that you come out as a homosexual to your family asap, so you stop living a lie.

    All the best.
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    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    But I will say it again I would never misuse the Anon function.
    But this isn't actually saying anything unless you define what you consider to be "misuse".

    It's like the oh-so-common "But Islam forbids killing innocent people". Meaningless unless you define exactly what "innocent" means and who it applies to.
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    (Original post by QE2)
    But this isn't actually saying anything unless you define what you consider to be "misuse".

    It's like the oh-so-common "But Islam forbids killing innocent people". Meaningless unless you define exactly what "innocent" means and who it applies to.
    Do you always have to make everything so complicated Sir?

    Misuse meaning not using the anon function inappropriately when it is not required. So if I wanted to post to Plantagenet Crown I would have done so with my own username.

    Why would I hide behind anon to post whatever that anon posted? 🤔
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    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    Misuse meaning not using the anon function inappropriately when it is not required.
    Same thing. Define "inappropriately".

    Why would I hide behind anon to post whatever that anon posted? 🤔
    I'm not saying you did. I'm just pointing out the flaw in your argument.
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    (Original post by QE2)
    I'm not saying you did. I'm just pointing out the flaw in your argument.
    Thank you Mr QE2 for doing your civic duty.
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    thanks to everyone who helped, I think I can gather that I should maybe wait till I'm older and decide on my religious status then.
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    How to start a popular thread 101
    really didn't think I would even get any replies...
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    Just being gay isn't haram i dont think the quran says its haram for having gay thoughts but i can assure you the act of being gay espeically for men is haram since anal sex is strictly prohibited by islam.
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    (Original post by solitaireegg)
    really didn't think I would even get any replies...
    Just say “I’m muslim” with “I feel (something that isn’t in line with Islam)” and you’ve got yourself a buzzing thread with people arguing over the validity of the Quran, very little actual help with the problem unfortunately.
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    (Original post by solitaireegg)
    Recently, I have discovered my attraction to both genders and have been fighting a war inside my head to decide what this means. I was born a Muslim to Muslim parents and family (but I deem myself as a maybe-maybe-not-an-atheist) so this obviously causes problems with my assigned religion and parents. I am afraid it will eventually affect my mental health and I just want to ask for advice about both leaving religion and coming out to my family. FYI, I have a good relationship with both my mother and father and I live in the UK.
    Please do not leave your faith due to this, use this as a way to gain a closer bond to God.Although it says in Islam that homosexuality is wrong, always remember, that God loves each and every one of his followers! It also says in Islam that Drug dealing, Murder and Theft is wrong, however, people simply draw out the ruling of homosexuality, just to seclude Gay people, forcing them to want to leave Islam.
    DM me if you have any questions that you want answered
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    (Original post by filmaker)
    i dont personally know your parents but from what i've learnt having your parents helps a lot in many circumstances so if you think they'll react badly (like disowning bad) then i'd say dont mention it unless you really feel you have to. in terms of religion maybe read into islam more or speak to someone about it that youre friends with before leaving but its completely your decision.
    definately try speaking to someone you trust if you feel your mental health being affected because your mental health is key.
    in short go with what feels right when trying to make these decisions and dont do anything unless you feel content

    also being a female and lesbian tend to be more accepted by muslims than being male and gay so i guess thats something to think about

    thanks for replying, both of my parents are educated, integrated with the English culture and they're not extremely religious either (we're of north african background not arab) if that helps.

    I'll tell you two back stories about my parents and their views solely on the LGBT+ community: firstly, my mother, she and I were talking and she told me how her employer sometimes backchats about her colleague under the suspicion of his being gay, I expressed my view about how I don't judge and treat people based on their sexuality, and to my surprise, she agreed!

    Secondly, my father took my brother and I to the local theatre to see a play, I didn't know what it was about at the time but I'm sure my father knew. The play was a children's one for the sake of my younger brothers but it told a story of a prince being shown different princesses to marry but he wasn't happy with any of them, but he did want to marry the last princess's brother. The prince was gay and he kisses his beloved prince and happily ever after. After, the theatre did a workshop with the parents discussing sexuality, my father contributed something along the lines of: "everyone has their beliefs and morals and lifestyle, you may not agree with it but you should let it be."

    I know you may think 'oh you're fine I don't what you're worried about' you should remember their opinions of it were of strangers; will their opinions change when it's their daughter?
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    Just say “I’m muslim” with “I feel (something that isn’t in line with Islam)” and you’ve got yourself a buzzing thread with people arguing over the validity of the Quran, very little actual help with the problem unfortunately.
    Because Islam is the problem.
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    Just say “I’m muslim” with “I feel (something that isn’t in line with Islam)” and you’ve got yourself a buzzing thread with people arguing over the validity of the Quran, very little actual help with the problem unfortunately.
    tsr was the only place i really was confident enough to seek advice. i see ur point as there is an argument on this thread that is no way related to this topic...
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    (Original post by SilverLipa)
    Please do not leave your faith due to this, use this as a way to gain a closer bond to God.Although it says in Islam that homosexuality is wrong, always remember, that God loves each and every one of his followers! It also says in Islam that Drug dealing, Murder and Theft is wrong, however, people simply draw out the ruling of homosexuality, just to seclude Gay people, forcing them to want to leave Islam.
    DM me if you have any questions that you want answered
    i never chose to practice this faith, i was brought up with it and if god really loves his followers why make us homosexual and claim that homosexuality wrong. im sorry but the country’s laws also state that you should not drug deal, murder and steal, but it doesn’t claim loving somebody is wrong (i understand some laws do prohibit homosexual marriage but that’s due to religion) and i dont need religion to be a good person. you’ll be surprised how useless religion is in some cases. finally, i don’t believe everything i’m told or read because i realise the Qu’ran was written thousands of years ago where they would behead and torture, completely contradictory to its teachings “don’t murder”...
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    (Original post by solitaireegg)
    thanks for replying, both of my parents are educated, integrated with the English culture and they're not extremely religious either (we're of north african background not arab) if that helps.

    I'll tell you two back stories about my parents and their views solely on the LGBT+ community: firstly, my mother, she and I were talking and she told me how her employer sometimes backchats about her colleague under the suspicion of his being gay, I expressed my view about how I don't judge and treat people based on their sexuality, and to my surprise, she agreed!

    Secondly, my father took my brother and I to the local theatre to see a play, I didn't know what it was about at the time but I'm sure my father knew. The play was a children's one for the sake of my younger brothers but it told a story of a prince being shown different princesses to marry but he wasn't happy with any of them, but he did want to marry the last princess's brother. The prince was gay and he kisses his beloved prince and happily ever after. After, the theatre did a workshop with the parents discussing sexuality, my father contributed something along the lines of: "everyone has their beliefs and morals and lifestyle, you may not agree with it but you should let it be."

    I know you may think 'oh you're fine I don't what you're worried about' you should remember their opinions of it were of strangers; will their opinions change when it's their daughter?
    although, your parents may react differently since youre not a stranger i still think they wont react ridiculously and if anything it'll just take them a little time to understand. it doesnt seem like theyre going to react in a very negative way that will harm your health in any way but make sure you have a rough plan (dont overthink it) in place in case they do react badly ie somewhere you can stay and someone to talk to about it.
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    (Original post by filmaker)
    also being a female and lesbian tend to be more accepted by muslims than being male and gay so i guess thats something to think about
    says who? that's the first I've heard of it. I'm a Muslim female and also am attracted to women..
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    Literally just made a cup of tea with 5 digestive biscuits all neatly placed round the plate with the teacup in the centre. I proceeded to click on this thread, dunk my biscuit to about 1/4; I slowly savoured the brown round biscuit of delight and munched away blissfully reading the arguments that always appear on threads regarding Islam.

    These moments are why i'm still living.
    Thank god for TSR!!!!!!!:jebus:
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    (Original post by filmaker)
    although, your parents may react differently since youre not a stranger i still think they wont react ridiculously and if anything it'll just take them a little time to understand. it doesnt seem like theyre going to react in a very negative way that will harm your health in any way but make sure you have a rough plan (dont overthink it) in place in case they do react badly ie somewhere you can stay and someone to talk to about it.
    yes you may be right and thank you for your advice, you’ve been a huge help and comfort )
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    (Original post by mc_miah)
    Literally just made a cup of tea with 5 digestive biscuits all neatly placed round the plate with the teacup in the centre. I proceeded to click on this thread, dunk my biscuit to about 1/4; I slowly savoured the brown round biscuit of delight and munched away blissfully reading the arguments that always appear on threads regarding Islam.

    These moments are why i'm still living.
    Thank god for TSR!!!!!!!:jebus:
    great, whatever dunks your biscuits i guess...
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    (Original post by mc_miah)
    Literally just made a cup of tea with 5 digestive biscuits all neatly placed round the plate with the teacup in the centre. I proceeded to click on this thread, dunk my biscuit to about 1/4; I slowly savoured the brown round biscuit of delight and munched away blissfully reading the arguments that always appear on threads regarding Islam.

    These moments are why i'm still living.
    Thank god for TSR!!!!!!!:jebus:
    Damn I really want at least 5 digestive biscuits and a cuppa so bad now.

    Biscuits, tea and TSaRguments. It’s the simple things in life. :mmm:
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