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does my teacher like-like me, or not? watch

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    Obviously this is a really hard situation for us to comment on as we only have your perspective, but I'll go off what you've said.
    So there are two possibilities; he does or he doesn't. I'm sorry but the latter is a lot more likely. Some teachers can come across strange that you end reading into their behaviour a lot (trust me, I know) and it's likely that you liking him has made you read into things he's done. By this I mean if you look at him, and he then looks back at you, you are thinking "oh my god, he looked at me, so he must like me" but he probably just looked at you because you looked at him. It is likely he thinks you're a good student and so likes you in that sense but it is unlikely he does romantically.
    Let's now consider that he does like you (which I'm sorry, but he probably doesn't). I know that because you like him, if he liked you it would make you really happy. However, you have to consider this objectively - a man in his late 20s having a crush on a girl who's 16. If that's the case it's really dodgy on his part and not something you would want to get into (I understand what it's like to like someone older and not care about if it's "wrong", but it is. You wouldn't want to end up with someone who would go for a teenager over 10 years younger than them even if it seems like you'd like it now).
    I hope things go okay for you! Don't stress about it too much, and it It might not seem like it now but you will get over your crush on him and probably laugh about it in the future !
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    Might I add that you should be more concerned about revision right now. We’re going to have the exams of our lives in 3 months or so, I’m surprised by how concerned you are about having a relationship, I mean, heck the exams are sucking the literal life out of me, I’m surprised you aren’t as freaked out by the exams. This one year is so crucial, leave relationships for after GCSEs.
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    (Original post by Aseeb Tariq)
    Might I add that you should be more concerned about revision right now. We’re going to have the exams of our lives in 3 months or so, I’m surprised by how concerned you are about having a relationship, I mean, heck the exams are sucking the literal life out of me, I’m surprised you aren’t as freaked out by the exams. This one year is so crucial, leave relationships for after GCSEs.
    You've exaggerated the difficulty of GCSEs. Relationships (not with a teacher of course) are perfectly manageable whilst doing GCSEs.
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    (Original post by Kang2002)
    He likes youuuuuuuu
    do you really think? x
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    (Original post by Cxletteee)
    Obviously this is a really hard situation for us to comment on as we only have your perspective, but I'll go off what you've said.
    So there are two possibilities; he does or he doesn't. I'm sorry but the latter is a lot more likely. Some teachers can come across strange that you end reading into their behaviour a lot (trust me, I know) and it's likely that you liking him has made you read into things he's done. By this I mean if you look at him, and he then looks back at you, you are thinking "oh my god, he looked at me, so he must like me" but he probably just looked at you because you looked at him. It is likely he thinks you're a good student and so likes you in that sense but it is unlikely he does romantically.
    Let's now consider that he does like you (which I'm sorry, but he probably doesn't). I know that because you like him, if he liked you it would make you really happy. However, you have to consider this objectively - a man in his late 20s having a crush on a girl who's 16. If that's the case it's really dodgy on his part and not something you would want to get into (I understand what it's like to like someone older and not care about if it's "wrong", but it is. You wouldn't want to end up with someone who would go for a teenager over 10 years younger than them even if it seems like you'd like it now).
    I hope things go okay for you! Don't stress about it too much, and it It might not seem like it now but you will get over your crush on him and probably laugh about it in the future !
    firstly, thank you so much for taking the time out to read my essay, and leave a reply!
    secondly, i think you're right- there's no way that what i was thinking is true; i actually feel a bit stupid now. i don't know why i ever thought anything like that could be possible- heck, i'm not even good looking, so that was definitely never the case.
    nonetheless, thank you for your honesty and wise words- it is very much appreciated x
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    (Original post by Aseeb Tariq)
    Might I add that you should be more concerned about revision right now. We’re going to have the exams of our lives in 3 months or so, I’m surprised by how concerned you are about having a relationship, I mean, heck the exams are sucking the literal life out of me, I’m surprised you aren’t as freaked out by the exams. This one year is so crucial, leave relationships for after GCSEs.
    i am very much freaked out by the exams, but this stupid crush is always on my mind, so i just need to get over him, and focus now.
    random question, but have you started revision?
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    It sounds like he might like-like the skating instructor. I can't see anything in the text which implies he is anything other than ambivalent to you. I don't mean to be cruel but you sound like a silly little girl - you were nearly crying because an ADULT (who you can never have a relationship with) SPOKE to a woman. Literally the only thing in your whole wall of text is that a few times you were staring at him and he happened to catch your eye as he looked around. Sometimes you think he's angry with you and sometimes that you made him happy - he is just living his life and his mood is 99% nothing to do with you. In short he doesn't seem to like you. Stay away from him.
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    Speaking from a male teacher's perspective, no I don't really think there's any special suggestion from him. You've developed a crush for him, which is perfectly normal. But it sounds like it's still an early crush that your teacher might not even have noticed (being male...). If he becomes aware I expect him to do something to avoid causing further misunderstanding from you. A teacher is like a mentor, and sometimes if it goes well between the pair s/he can be a formal friend of the student. Anything further would obscure the teacher/student relationship and would just be wrong...
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    The main things I got from your post is that:

    1. You are crushing on him very strongly.

    2. The urge to know if your feelings are required or not are making you view all of his actions through a very skewered perspective. That because you long for him, every little banal thing he does is being viewed as a potential sign of required feelings.

    This isn't healthy/good for you. You need to reign in these emotions.

    3. There is this one girl who having developed a massive crush on the postman (a young, friendly, good looking guy who she often bumped into and sometimes exchanged a few friendly words with on her way out in the morning as he delivered mail), her heart and thoughts became totally preoccupied with him. So she started looking for "signs" in every little mundane thing the postman did; where once he simply waved hello to the girl, the wave suddenly became a potential sign of longing feelings towards her ("That wave he just gave me lingered more than usual...!'l, and where once he simply dumped the mail in the letterbox, the placement of letters suddenly starts taking on the form of potential messages of love ("he placed that Sky TV letter with the big red heart on the envelope at the top of the mail bundle for me!'). A smile is no longer simply just a smile- It's potential unspoken words of the heart (etc).

    One day the girl see's him having a cheerful chat with a hot slim female neighbour In the distance, and as they exchange smiles etc, a wrath in the girl suddenly wells up towards the neighbour; "How dare she act flirty with him like that (what if he fancies her? What if she takes him away from me? How can I compete with her?)! I wish she would just disappear from the area!!" the girl thinks. Another day the girl bumps into the postman in a usual encounter, but instead of him being his usual cheerful self, he seems detached and brusque with her and the girl feels very hurt and distressed by this (and wonders endlessly why he was like that).

    Highs and lows, the girls heart is caught up in turmoil over the postman. But while her infatuation grows everymore intense, obsessive and analytical over the postman and his behaviours, the postman is actually completely oblivious to her feelings towards him (and has no idea that any of his actions are being analysed in such a light!). For him, he feels nothing in particular towards her (and is just going about his job).

    The lingering wave? He didn't even realize it lingered. The Sky TV letter? It just happened to be at the top of the mail bundle. The chat with the hot neighbour? They just got onto a random funny topic. That day he seemed detached and brusque? He was just in a rush.
    Etc.

    You are that girl crushing on the postman (except swap "postman" with "teacher'). The teacher treats you with decency, but as he does with all of his students. But he has no romantic or lustful feelings for you (these are completely coming from your end) and he sounds pretty oblivious to how you feel (not that you should make your feelings more obvious to him!).

    You have to understand that his relationship with you is like that with almost any other student (and will always be this way). You need to stop your heart every time it begins to run away with thoughts of longing towards him. He may be a nice handsome guy, but there are a lot of nice handsome guys out there and you can't just let yourself become infatuated every time you come across a guy like him (and trust me, there will be others).

    Focus on your studies, bear with the environment. What is left of your time at this place will pass sooner than you anticipate. The teacher does not like-like you, so be dignified and stop longing for him. At your age hormones are very strong and these hormones can create very intense crushes towards other people (hence why crushing is so often associated with teenage years). But as your hormones become more balanced, so the intensity of your feelings will reduce (and they will become a lot more manageable both in terms of experience and biochemistry). So just try to bear with it and focus on other pursuits for now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hiya,

    so, i am not making this thread to be lectured on how sutdent-teacher things are so terrible, and how he could lose his job, and be labelled a paedophile, etc.
    i get all of that- i just need to know if he likes me or not, so i can decide what to next (and, no, i do not mean 'ask him out' or something like that).

    so, this teacher has been at my school for 2 years now, and when he first came, everyone seemed to like him, but i didnt really see anything in him like that.
    he was really nice to me, though- i remember once, my friend and i didn't do anything the whole p.e lesson, and he didn't say anything to us, but he did shout at everyone else who didn't do anything.
    anyway, that's irrelevant, considering the fact that he does not speak to me at all anymore.

    i began liking him, i'd say, in september (i'm in year 11, by the way), and i just thought it was something that would go away in a coupe of days- but it didn't.
    i think i first began liking him because, when we went ice-skating for the first time (we go once every two weeks with school), i saw him looking at me, and it made me think 'maybe he likes me', and i would think about the whole situation for ages on end.
    then, once i had to speak to my brother about something after school, and he was in the cricket club that the sir was in. i had to speak to sir (however much i was terrified to do so) about something concerning my brother, and he was really nice, and he was understanding of the whole situation, and his body language suggested that maybe he like-likes me. he also seemed to brighten up when i spoke to him (this makes me sound so conceited, i'm sorry, there's no other way to describe it). then i spent the whole week thinking about it.
    but, whenever i saw him in the corridors after that, he didn't smile, and actually seemed like he was almost annoyed when he saw me.

    i'm pretty sure he knows i like him- i try to hide it, but it probably makes it more obvious.

    anyway, fast forward a couple of weeks, and another time we went skating. i was sitting out with one of my friends, just because we're lazy as anything, and he was standing at the side of the ice rink. he knew my friend and i were sitting out- he saw us beforehand. well, there's a female instructor there, who is actuallly quite pretty, and she went up to him and the other teacher that came. they seemed like they were almost flirting, and he turned around, and looked straight at me- obviously i looked away, but i think my face gave away the fact that i was actually quite upset, and jealous about it.
    then, he came up to my friend and i, and asked why we weren't on the rink, and i couldn't look him in the eye. he then said 'you should skate, seeing as you paid for it, and have an amazing instructor'. i think i made it quite obvious that annoyed me as i rolled my eyes. i didn't say anything, but i was honestly on the verge of crying, because i felt like i wasn't good enough- i've been through this many times before (boys my age), and it's always ended up with me falling for them, because they played with my emotions, and gave me mixed signal, however stupid that sounds

    after that incident, i tried to stop liking him, and it just didn't work. whenever i saw him in the corridors, wewould make eye contact, but i just couldn't hold it long enough to understand what he was thinking.

    we had a mock exam, and the teachers of the lessons we have whilst we have the exam usually supervise us whilst we are being registered. he was standing at the front of the hall with two other teachers, and i was on the 'bleacher seating'. obviously, i glanced over a few times, and he looked at me a few times, whilst he was speaking to the other teachers.
    there was a boy next to me, who asked me what the exam was about, and i explained it to him. subconciously, i looked to the front of the hall, and sir was looking at us, quite intently, and looked away when we made eye contact.
    after we had done the register, and were being sent to the exam hall, he came up to our row, and stood right in front of me, and spoke to the boy i wa explaining the exam to. he then leant forwards, to speak to some boys behind us, and he was so close to me, and i can't help but think that he did that on purpose, and when i say i couldn't breathe, i actually mean it.

    today, we had another ice-skating session,and whilst we were waiting to go in, i saw him look at me at least 3 times- we made eye contact, but i looked away too quickly. when we got in, and i was on the ice, i saw him look at me, like, twice. then, he got on to the ice, and i kid you not, i think he literally put his skates on to go and speak to that same pretty instructor. i didn't notice at first, but when i did, i had to get off the ice and sit out, because i was literally shaking, and on the verge of crying.
    when i sat out, he was still skating, but no longer with the instructor, and i saw him look at me a couple of times. i was sitting with me friend, and i didn't want her to know that i was going to cry, so i played it off by acting really angry about something else. her boyfriend even let me punch his bag, and sir saw me do that. i don't think he took any notice of it, but after that, i made it quite obvious that i was 'annoyed' at him, and just gave him a couple scowls and eye rolls.

    i know that was really long and stupid, and you probably think that all these signs are just tiny, and don't mean anything, but they do to me. i really don't know how to explain the situations properly, because they really don't sound like much.
    also, again, please don't lecture me about the consequence of liking a teacher- i know them already.

    but, if you're so amazing that you did manage to get through that load of waffle, what do you think?
    do you think he likes me, and was trying to get me jealous, or do you think he hates me? i honestly have no clue, and it's really stressing me out.

    thank you so, so much if you read that/left some advice- it is very, very much appreciated x
    Coming from a guy. He likes you, or at least he's curious. He doesnt look at you quite a bit for no reason, because it isnt normal for male teachers to look at femal students quite a bit, even if its walking down the corridor. It's obvious that he could get in a lot of trouble, but if he likes he WILL NOT make the first move aha. If you're going to a seperate college/sixthform from your school and you're 16 then you could contact him after and he probs won't hesitate then because he won't be doing anything illegal or that can get him fired aha. But ye if he looks at you as much as you say he does, that aint normal or casualand he likes/is curious about you....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    firstly, thank you so much for taking the time out to read my essay, and leave a reply!
    secondly, i think you're right- there's no way that what i was thinking is true; i actually feel a bit stupid now. i don't know why i ever thought anything like that could be possible- heck, i'm not even good looking, so that was definitely never the case.
    nonetheless, thank you for your honesty and wise words- it is very much appreciated x
    Hey don't feel stupid! It's something a lot of people do (read into the behaviour of people they like and try and find meaning in it) - in fact, when you like someone it's really hard *not* to do it. It could definitely be possible but it's not something that, if given the chance, you'd want to get into anyway (like let's say he DOES like you, getting involved with him wouldn't be a good idea). Your looks would have nothing to do with it; most teachers would just never find any students attractive because they are a lot younger than them (it's not that you're bad looking so don't put yourself down!)
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    It sounds like he might like-like the skating instructor. I can't see anything in the text which implies he is anything other than ambivalent to you. I don't mean to be cruel but you sound like a silly little girl - you were nearly crying because an ADULT (who you can never have a relationship with) SPOKE to a woman. Literally the only thing in your whole wall of text is that a few times you were staring at him and he happened to catch your eye as he looked around. Sometimes you think he's angry with you and sometimes that you made him happy - he is just living his life and his mood is 99% nothing to do with you. In short he doesn't seem to like you. Stay away from him.
    damn, i’m sorry for being an emotional piece of crap?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i am very much freaked out by the exams, but this stupid crush is always on my mind, so i just need to get over him, and focus now.
    random question, but have you started revision?
    Yup, I’m doing hardcore revision this half term. I’ve also got mocks in two weeks 🧠
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    (Original post by Cxletteee)
    Hey don't feel stupid! It's something a lot of people do (read into the behaviour of people they like and try and find meaning in it) - in fact, when you like someone it's really hard *not* to do it. It could definitely be possible but it's not something that, if given the chance, you'd want to get into anyway (like let's say he DOES like you, getting involved with him wouldn't be a good idea). Your looks would have nothing to do with it; most teachers would just never find any students attractive because they are a lot younger than them (it's not that you're bad looking so don't put yourself down!)
    hi! thank you so much for taking the time out to reply- it really means a lot.
    thank you for being understanding, and honest- i totally understand what you mean about it not being a good idea to get involved in anything stupid.
    thank you, again, for reading my essay, and taking the time out to reply- you've really helped! x
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    (Original post by Somtochi)
    Coming from a guy. He likes you, or at least he's curious. He doesnt look at you quite a bit for no reason, because it isnt normal for male teachers to look at femal students quite a bit, even if its walking down the corridor. It's obvious that he could get in a lot of trouble, but if he likes he WILL NOT make the first move aha. If you're going to a seperate college/sixthform from your school and you're 16 then you could contact him after and he probs won't hesitate then because he won't be doing anything illegal or that can get him fired aha. But ye if he looks at you as much as you say he does, that aint normal or casualand he likes/is curious about you....
    thank you so much for taking the time out to reply!
    is it bad that i kind of hope what you're saying is true? aha.
    what do you think about the skating instructor? do you think he likes her from what i've said? x
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    (Original post by Feastful)
    The main things I got from your post is that:

    1. You are crushing on him very strongly.

    2. The urge to know if your feelings are required or not are making you view all of his actions through a very skewered perspective. That because you long for him, every little banal thing he does is being viewed as a potential sign of required feelings.

    This isn't healthy/good for you. You need to reign in these emotions.

    3. There is this one girl who having developed a massive crush on the postman (a young, friendly, good looking guy who she often bumped into and sometimes exchanged a few friendly words with on her way out in the morning as he delivered mail), her heart and thoughts became totally preoccupied with him. So she started looking for "signs" in every little mundane thing the postman did; where once he simply waved hello to the girl, the wave suddenly became a potential sign of longing feelings towards her ("That wave he just gave me lingered more than usual...!'l, and where once he simply dumped the mail in the letterbox, the placement of letters suddenly starts taking on the form of potential messages of love ("he placed that Sky TV letter with the big red heart on the envelope at the top of the mail bundle for me!'. A smile is no longer simply just a smile- It's potential unspoken words of the heart (etc).

    One day the girl see's him having a cheerful chat with a hot slim female neighbour In the distance, and as they exchange smiles etc, a wrath in the girl suddenly wells up towards the neighbour; "How dare she act flirty with him like that (what if he fancies her? What if she takes him away from me? How can I compete with her?)! I wish she would just disappear from the area!!" the girl thinks. Another day the girl bumps into the postman in a usual encounter, but instead of him being his usual cheerful self, he seems detached and brusque with her and the girl feels very hurt and distressed by this (and wonders endlessly why he was like that).

    Highs and lows, the girls heart is caught up in turmoil over the postman. But while her infatuation grows everymore intense, obsessive and analytical over the postman and his behaviours, the postman is actually completely oblivious to her feelings towards him (and has no idea that any of his actions are being analysed in such a light!). For him, he feels nothing in particular towards her (and is just going about his job).

    The lingering wave? He didn't even realize it lingered. The Sky TV letter? It just happened to be at the top of the mail bundle. The chat with the hot neighbour? They just got onto a random funny topic. That day he seemed detached and brusque? He was just in a rush.
    Etc.

    You are that girl crushing on the postman (except swap "postman" with "teacher'. The teacher treats you with decency, but as he does with all of his students. But he has no romantic or lustful feelings for you (these are completely coming from your end) and he sounds pretty oblivious to how you feel (not that you should make your feelings more obvious to him!).

    You have to understand that his relationship with you is like that with almost any other student (and will always be this way). You need to stop your heart every time it begins to run away with thoughts of longing towards him. He may be a nice handsome guy, but there are a lot of nice handsome guys out there and you can't just let yourself become infatuated every time you come across a guy like him (and trust me, there will be others).

    Focus on your studies, bear with the environment. What is left of your time at this place will pass sooner than you anticipate. The teacher does not like-like you, so be dignified and stop longing for him. At your age hormones are very strong and these hormones can create very intense crushes towards other people (hence why crushing is so often associated with teenage years). But as your hormones become more balanced, so the intensity of your feelings will reduce (and they will become a lot more manageable both in terms of experience and biochemistry). So just try to bear with it and focus on other pursuits for now.
    hi! thank you so much for taking the time out to leave such a detailed reply! your little anecdote totally puts everything in to perspective- i understand what you mean about the hormones- stupid hormones.
    nonetheless, thank you, again, for taking the time out to reply- it means a lot x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi! thank you so much for taking the time out to reply- it really means a lot.
    thank you for being understanding, and honest- i totally understand what you mean about it not being a good idea to get involved in anything stupid.
    thank you, again, for reading my essay, and taking the time out to reply- you've really helped! x
    I'm glad I could help! Your situation is very common (people having crushes on teachers) so don't worry hope the rest of year 11 goes well !
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    (Original post by Cxletteee)
    I'm glad I could help! Your situation is very common (people having crushes on teachers) so don't worry hope the rest of year 11 goes well !
    i'm so glad it's normal!
    and, thank you so much! xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thank you so much for taking the time out to reply!
    is it bad that i kind of hope what you're saying is true? aha.
    what do you think about the skating instructor? do you think he likes her from what i've said? x
    PM me your snapchat! And again from a guy, we aren't like girls. It sounds bad but if a girls hot then she's hot i guess, we don't just 'like' one person. He could think the instructor is hot aswell, but also thinks your hot too. Maybe, he's using her to make you jealous or he's just talking to her coz she's good looking. It doesn't really make a difference aha
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    damn, i’m sorry for being an emotional piece of crap?
    You just don't realise how damaging accusations like this are for males working with young girls. You were clearly considering saying something to the school in your OP. And even if you didn't if another teacher or student overhears something you say to your friend you could really damage him.

    Everyone had crushes on teachers growing up. I certainly did. And it's normal to analyse the every move of someone you fancy. But it's very important to rememebr that you overanalysing this and someone hearing it could ruin this guys life. Once someone decides you're a pedo then that's all people hear - it doesn't matter if you're proven innocent later on.

    Also - on the harsh tone of my post: there are way too many people encouraging you on here which is total crap. I've worked with vulnerable people and if someone oversteps the boundaries of the relationship that line has to be VERY clearly drawn VERY quickly - I'm trying to help you do that before you make a serious mistake.
 
 
 
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