Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm 19, I've know this girl for 2 years now just as friends and originally we met because she would come in and talk to me when I was working my first part time job.

    There's a 3 year (and a few months) age difference and therefore I'm very aware she is under 16 right now.

    Im kind of getting those nice feelings when we talk to eachother so potentially beginning to gain feelings.

    I'm not a fool and my morals are correctly aligned.

    Should I feel wrong for this? I'm trying really hard to not feel anything if it's the case that I'm doing something wrong. Of course I wouldnt do anything in terms of making a move before she has turned 16 (which isn't long really) anyway - or even later maybe. But thoughts?

    P.s: not interested in the 'paedo' comments so pleas refrain from posting them, thanks
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19, I've know this girl for 2 years now just as friends and originally we met because she would come in and talk to me when I was working my first part time job.

    There's a 3 year (and a few months) age difference and therefore I'm very aware she is under 16 right now.

    Im kind of getting those nice feelings when we talk to eachother so potentially beginning to gain feelings.

    I'm not a fool and my morals are correctly aligned.

    Should I feel wrong for this? I'm trying really hard to not feel anything if it's the case that I'm doing something wrong. Of course I wouldnt do anything in terms of making a move before she has turned 16 (which isn't long really) anyway - or even later maybe. But thoughts?

    P.s: not interested in the 'paedo' comments so pleas refrain from posting them, thanks
    You're fine as friends, but wait until she is legally able to consent. 3 years isn't that big a gap
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is this wrong
    The simple direct answer is NO. You seem to know where the line is drawn and you are keen not to cross it. You are OK
    • Community Assistant
    Online

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    No it isn't wrong, but make sure you definitely wait until she's 16. And as you said maybe a bit longer. If you go for her like the day after her birthday it'll make you seem like you were waiting to get after her. You seem to understand the difficulties with being involved with a minor, so just keep that in mind.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    No it isn't wrong, but make sure you definitely wait until she's 16. And as you said maybe a bit longer. If you go for her like the day after her birthday it'll make you seem like you were waiting to get after her. You seem to understand the difficulties with being involved with a minor, so just keep that in mind.
    Youre right, that would appear to be a little keen. Thanks
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    Age is just a number but yh since you’re over 18 it would most definitely be wise to wait until she’s 16 maybe you could say to her that you would take her out as a birthday treat?? But you seem really nice and like you care about her so you have no reason not to go for it
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rachel.x5)
    Age is just a number but yh since you’re over 18 it would most definitely be wise to wait until she’s 16 maybe you could say to her that you would take her out as a birthday treat?? But you seem really nice and like you care about her so you have no reason not to go for it
    100% agree and I will always follow that. Thankyou Rachel.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    No it isn't wrong, but make sure you definitely wait until she's 16. And as you said maybe a bit longer. If you go for her like the day after her birthday it'll make you seem like you were waiting to get after her. You seem to understand the difficulties with being involved with a minor, so just keep that in mind.
    Yeah that's exactly what I was thinking. I agree with this persons comment. Hope everything works out.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    you've already posted this before but like mentioned there's nothing wrong with it , just be careful
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ray_Shadows)
    you've already posted this before but like mentioned there's nothing wrong with it , just be careful
    Haha no I haven't posted this before actually. Lots ofnpeople tend to post as anonymous

    Cheers
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha no I haven't posted this before actually. Lots ofnpeople tend to post as anonymous

    Cheers
    hmm thats odd , could of sworn i saw something about a 19 yr old dating a 16 yr old the other day probably just another guy in the exact same situation
    • TSR Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Peer Support Volunteers
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19, I've know this girl for 2 years now just as friends and originally we met because she would come in and talk to me when I was working my first part time job.

    There's a 3 year (and a few months) age difference and therefore I'm very aware she is under 16 right now.

    Im kind of getting those nice feelings when we talk to eachother so potentially beginning to gain feelings.

    I'm not a fool and my morals are correctly aligned.

    Should I feel wrong for this? I'm trying really hard to not feel anything if it's the case that I'm doing something wrong. Of course I wouldnt do anything in terms of making a move before she has turned 16 (which isn't long really) anyway - or even later maybe. But thoughts?

    P.s: not interested in the 'paedo' comments so pleas refrain from posting them, thanks
    You should not feel wrong for liking her. You are rather close in age and have known her for a good while as you've aged. Although it would be illegal and immoral to engage in any sort of "adult" or sexual relationship with them it is totally normal for you to feel attracted to her either as a friend or in a deeper way.

    I would say that a three year age gap will likely make you guys incompatible while you're still young because three years is a big deal in terms of growing up, becoming more mature etc. In the grand scheme of things though it's not huge and it certainly would be be okay if you guys wanted to try out something more adult once she is old enough for that. For now obviously you should avoid it for your own protection if nothing else (you clearly already know that though).

    So basically in short you are not a paedo or anything. It's natural to feel how you do, but for now at least it's the wrong timing and you're going to have to ignore it.
    Hope that helps
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    shades of Jimmy saville I see
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ray_Shadows)
    hmm thats odd , could of sworn i saw something about a 19 yr old dating a 16 yr old the other day probably just another guy in the exact same situation
    Yeah it's a bizarre coincidence!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 15, 2018
Poll
Do protests make a difference in political decisions?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.