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How to deal with being in the closet watch

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    I've known my sexuality for 7 months, and almost every day has been a bad day, where I can't stop thinking about it. Lately, I have felt really trapped in my mind and feel that I can't talk to anyone. I long for the day when I can truly be myself.

    Anyway - I can't concentrate on my school work when I feel depressed, and I have really important exams this year. Is there any way that I can put my emotions to the side and concentrate on my work?

    Why does it have to be so tough? Why can't people just be themselves without fear?
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    I genuinely need help here. I keep feeling down each day.
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    I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Having issues with sexuality can be a difficult and confusing time, and it's understandable that you are feeling very low about this.

    There are many places you can turn to for support - (http://www.youngstonewall.org.uk/get...oming-out-lgbt)
    If you are feeling depressed, mentally unwell or are concerned for your own safety (for example, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself) it is vital that you speak to someone you trust. This could be a GP, a trusted teacher or someone from a helpline such as Samaritans.

    You don't give your age - you may also be able to speak to childline.

    I wish you the very best with your exams this year - coming out (or not, as the case may be), is a truly difficult process and one that everyone experiences differently. It's ok to feel upset, unsure and frustrated but please remember that it gets better and the things you are currently afraid of will get much better with time.

    Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    I've known my sexuality for 7 months, and almost every day has been a bad day, where I can't stop thinking about it. Lately, I have felt really trapped in my mind and feel that I can't talk to anyone. I long for the day when I can truly be myself.

    Anyway - I can't concentrate on my school work when I feel depressed, and I have really important exams this year. Is there any way that I can put my emotions to the side and concentrate on my work?

    Why does it have to be so tough? Why can't people just be themselves without fear?
    Hi Joe,

    Honestly being trapped inside your own head isnt a great feeling, your thoughts get crowded and every emotion you are feeling is bottled inside of you. Try speaking to someone, a friend, teacher or a family member. If you leave it and do nothing about it, then it could get worse for you, plz try and find some help
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    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    Hi Joe,

    Honestly being trapped inside your own head isnt a great feeling, your thoughts get crowded and every emotion you are feeling is bottled inside of you. Try speaking to someone, a friend, teacher or a family member. If you leave it and do nothing about it, then it could get worse for you, plz try and find some help
    My thoughts are crowded and everything inside my head is bottled up. It is not fun at all, and in the past 7 months, my mental health has been the lowest it has ever been.
    I haven't really got friends to talk to, I don't feel comfortable talking to any teachers about it, and I can't talk to family members. They are Catholic and I get an impression that they are homophobic.
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    (Original post by nevemarie17)
    I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Having issues with sexuality can be a difficult and confusing time, and it's understandable that you are feeling very low about this.

    There are many places you can turn to for support - (http://www.youngstonewall.org.uk/get...oming-out-lgbt)
    If you are feeling depressed, mentally unwell or are concerned for your own safety (for example, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself) it is vital that you speak to someone you trust. This could be a GP, a trusted teacher or someone from a helpline such as Samaritans.

    You don't give your age - you may also be able to speak to childline.

    I wish you the very best with your exams this year - coming out (or not, as the case may be), is a truly difficult process and one that everyone experiences differently. It's ok to feel upset, unsure and frustrated but please remember that it gets better and the things you are currently afraid of will get much better with time.

    Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
    I am 16, and have spoken to Childlike once before. I just can't find a way to get support without my family knowing, and there must be nothing worse than finding out that your son is contacting organizations such as Childline or the Samaritans. However, my mental health is low, and I keep having spells of depression.

    Thanks for the link to young Stonewall.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    My thoughts are crowded and everything inside my head is bottled up. It is not fun at all, and in the past 7 months, my mental health has been the lowest it has ever been.
    I haven't really got friends to talk to, I don't feel comfortable talking to any teachers about it, and I can't talk to family members. They are Catholic and I get an impression that they are homophobic.
    I had a friend who was going through a similar situation but if there is no one you can go and rely on, ppl here can help, you arent the only one going through a hard time, others are going through similar situations like you. So many have come on here and found the help that they needed and you will be able to find the same type of help x
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    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    I had a friend who was going through a similar situation but if there is no one you can go and rely on, ppl here can help, you arent the only one going through a hard time, others are going through similar situations like you. So many have come on here and found the help that they needed and you will be able to find the same type of help x
    I post a lot on here, but feel like a bit of a burden on other posters if I am constantly posting threads about my life troubles. I really do need to speak to someone in person, but just live in constant fear and depression. I have tried to study the past 3 days and just cannot do it.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    I post a lot on here, but feel like a bit of a burden on other posters if I am constantly posting threads about my life troubles. I really do need to speak to someone in person, but just live in constant fear and depression. I have tried to study the past 3 days and just cannot do it.
    Trust me you are not a burden, its good to see ppl posting about whats going on with them so they can get the right advice needed, living in fear will not get you anywhere in life, hope that doesnt sound harsh but you wont get help, if you dont try yourself. Be the bigger person, have you got a school councellar? School Nurse?
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    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    Trust me you are not a burden, its good to see ppl posting about whats going on with them so they can get the right advice needed, living in fear will not get you anywhere in life, hope that doesnt sound harsh but you wont get help, if you dont try yourself. Be the bigger person, have you got a school councellar? School Nurse?
    There isn't anyone in my life who really understands the struggle that I am going through. My head of year in school knows about my sexuality, but doesn't actually know the extent of how bad it has got, and I feel quite scared of her anyway. Being in a Catholic school and raised in such a heteronormative environment has made things really tough.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    There isn't anyone in my life who really understands the struggle that I am going through. My head of year in school knows about my sexuality, but doesn't actually know the extent of how bad it has got, and I feel quite scared of her anyway. Being in a Catholic school and raised in such a heteronormative environment has made things really tough.
    That must be a struggle but have you tried speaking to anyone here, like PM someone, if you dont feel comfortable putting it all down on a thread?
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    There isn't anyone in my life who really understands the struggle that I am going through. My head of year in school knows about my sexuality, but doesn't actually know the extent of how bad it has got, and I feel quite scared of her anyway. Being in a Catholic school and raised in such a heteronormative environment has made things really tough.
    I too have suffered from depression, for the last 10 years, it is best to be honest with yourself and others around you. There’s no point living a lie. I disagree with pretty much everything the Catholic Church teaches so I am unaware of how they would deal with this in a school environment. Maybe someone else can answer that for you but you need to think positive, reach out and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Better days are coming. I’m straight by the way but when people are openly gay it makes it easier to speak them to than anyone else imo . It’s as if they don’t care about anything and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Comforting to be around. Be that guy. Good luck buddy
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    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    That must be a struggle but have you tried speaking to anyone here, like PM someone, if you dont feel comfortable putting it all down on a thread?
    I have spoken to some people via Private Messages, and it does help.
    I honestly just want to get this ordeal over with and come out. My parents are anti-gay (e.g. slamming Tom Daley and his husband for having a child via surrogate), my dad in particular is homophobic, and I worry that they wouldn't be supportive of it.
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    (Original post by Ewok94)
    I too have suffered from depression, for the last 10 years, it is best to be honest with yourself and others around you. There’s no point living a lie. I disagree with pretty much everything the Catholic Church teaches so I am unaware of how they would deal with this in a school environment. Maybe someone else can answer that for you but you need to think positive, reach out and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Better days are coming. I’m straight by the way but when people are openly gay it makes it easier to speak them to than anyone else imo . It’s as if they don’t care about anything and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Comforting to be around. Be that guy. Good luck buddy
    The school itself isn't necessarily anti-gay (although a couple of pupils are), but they seem very uneducated about the whole LGBT issue. I personally also disagree with the Catholic Church's teachings. It is just awful, and I have had to endure it for 16 years.
    I know that better days are coming, but it feels like they never will.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    The school itself isn't necessarily anti-gay (although a couple of pupils are), but they seem very uneducated about the whole LGBT issue. I personally also disagree with the Catholic Church's teachings. It is just awful, and I have had to endure it for 16 years.
    I know that better days are coming, but it feels like they never will.
    IT probably feels like your whole world at the moment but this is a very small thing in reality. You will realise this in a few years. It’s hard to see from the outside when you’re right in the middle of it. In reality your relationships are nothing to do with your parents. You can tell them or choose not to. You should see if talking to them helps, if not consider suggesting you speak to a councillor together. However relationships aren’t really important until you’re nearing 30s I’d say. They’re all bs before then. Some of them are bs after them. The best way to live Ian to live for you. Chase your dream. Move abroad. Work for the job you want. Relationships will fall into place naturally. You’re sexual preference Is meaningless. I like pizza but I don’t like pasta. You like pasta but don’t like pizza. It doesn’t mean we can be friends, in fact it makes 0 difference to anything
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    Thanks @Ewok94 for the advice and input you are giving
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    (Original post by Ewok94)
    IT probably feels like your whole world at the moment but this is a very small thing in reality. You will realise this in a few years. It’s hard to see from the outside when you’re right in the middle of it. In reality your relationships are nothing to do with your parents. You can tell them or choose not to. You should see if talking to them helps, if not consider suggesting you speak to a councillor together. However relationships aren’t really important until you’re nearing 30s I’d say. They’re all bs before then. Some of them are bs after them. The best way to live Ian to live for you. Chase your dream. Move abroad. Work for the job you want. Relationships will fall into place naturally. You’re sexual preference Is meaningless. I like pizza but I don’t like pasta. You like pasta but don’t like pizza. It doesn’t mean we can be friends, in fact it makes 0 difference to anything
    My parents still assume that I am straight, and it does mean that I have to hide such a huge part of myself from them. Straight people don't have to come out, so it is a slightly different ballgame. It's more about isolation than anything else.

    I do have dreams that I want to chase. I want to live in London, I want to have a boyfriend, get married, work in my dream job, do what I want with my life, but I don't know, it feels like it will never come. I just feel trapped.
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    (Original post by Joe2001)
    The school itself isn't necessarily anti-gay (although a couple of pupils are), but they seem very uneducated about the whole LGBT issue. I personally also disagree with the Catholic Church's teachings. It is just awful, and I have had to endure it for 16 years.
    I know that better days are coming, but it feels like they never will.
    Hey Joe, Sorry i have to post anonymously but my family and friends like to watch everything i do. I am bisexual, near gay. My family are fully anti -gay and think that it is an agenda pushed by pedophiles and perverts. They are traditional africans so that basically sums it up. My school is basically anti-gay as they are extremely catholic plus my form tutor says that being gay is a mental illness. To be honest, keeping it a secret at times his hard especially when you have a crush and so on.
    Luckily, I have a three friends who are also gay so its nice to chill with them at school as we defend gays. At school, its easy because i am leaving in September and never going to see them again so i don't care what they think but at home it is hard. I try to act as straight as possible but as sex and what not is never brought up at home I am kind of lucky. I just never discuss those things with them and I just lie when I have to. To be honest, just like you i have no clue what is in store for me in the future but i hope it is positive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey Joe, Sorry i have to post anonymously but my family and friends like to watch everything i do. I am bisexual, near gay. My family are fully anti -gay and think that it is an agenda pushed by pedophiles and perverts. They are traditional africans so that basically sums it up. My school is basically anti-gay as they are extremely catholic plus my form tutor says that being gay is a mental illness. To be honest, keeping it a secret at times his hard especially when you have a crush and so on.
    Luckily, I have a three friends who are also gay so its nice to chill with them at school as we defend gays. At school, its easy because i am leaving in September and never going to see them again so i don't care what they think but at home it is hard. I try to act as straight as possible but as sex and what not is never brought up at home I am kind of lucky. I just never discuss those things with them and I just lie when I have to. To be honest, just like you i have no clue what is in store for me in the future but i hope it is positive.
    Sorry to hear about the attitude of those around you. That must be horrific hearing such things. It is definitely hard. Do try and stick with those gay friends though, as they will be a great branch of support. I really wish that I knew some gay people in my own life.
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    open the door and walk out
 
 
 
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