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Met a girl lately, not sure how to proceed watch

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    I recently met a girl through a mutual friend and a small group of us have been hanging out.

    The mutual friend and this girl are just friends and are not romantically linked to one another. But lately, I've developed some feelings for this girl, and to my surprise the girl has done the same. We both found that we have so much in common and like each others personalities. I can tell she really likes me, and it wasn't until a friend asked me in front of the group if I "liked" her or wouldn't mind going out with her, that I knew that she perhaps liked me. At the time, I said that I wasn't too sure and her friend said I can take my time deciding, because the friend liked me as a person and so did her boyfriend.

    This girl is a couple of years older than me, and I kinda friend zoned her politely privately, on a small date a few days later. Told her that I would disappoint her if I was her man, and she seemed a little upset. We seemed to then tell each other, how we sort of liked each other and what not. But then, she literally told me that I was handsome and some of my weak traits. Like what I could do to improve myself and look good.

    I felt bad friend zoning at the time, but a part of me still likes her and I think deep down she likes me. What should I do? I just felt she was slightly older than me, and she kept denying that I could disappoint her.
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    How much older?
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    (Original post by Tizzytizzie)
    How much older?
    Literally 3 years older
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    One thing I find kind of strange is how she was telling you what your weak traits are and how to improve. That's kind of condescending isn't it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One thing I find kind of strange is how she was telling you what your weak traits are and how to improve. That's kind of condescending isn't it?
    I don't know. For some reason I took it as constructive criticism. She did mention my good traits, so I guess it wasn't so bad

    Plus she apologised if she offended me, so I didn't take much of it to heart
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    Soooo...... I think it depends on how old you are. I know a very successful relationship where the girl is 4 years older than the guy but they are both graduates and have their own careers but it works for them. Their age is a non-issue at this point.

    I have three friends that are dating guys that are a year younger than they are..... is that an acceptable age difference or would you not date anyone older than yourself?
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    If it’s three years then that’s perfectly fine I think, but it depends on how old you are in comparison the her.

    You’re 15 ‘n she’s 18? Mm, nah.

    She’s 27 & you’re 24 maybe.

    It depends on what stage of life you’re both in, you also need to compare/measure your level of maturity to hers..
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    (Original post by Tizzytizzie)
    If it’s three years then that’s perfectly fine I think, but it depends on how old you are in comparison the her.

    You’re 15 ‘n she’s 18? Mm, nah.

    She’s 27 & you’re 24 maybe.

    It depends on what stage of life you’re both in, you also need to compare/measure your level of maturity to hers..
    Yeah we are both in our 20s, both graduated from university.

    We just so so much in common and I feel so confident and myself around her. Even though I politely friendzoned her, I still like her and feel that over time I may ask her out. I know she loves me deep down and she was giving me so much advice and made me feel so much better!

    But the thing is, couldn't I just fix the weaknesses she has pointed out and ask her out? Like say, "I admit that I am romantically attracted to you"
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    Soooo...... I think it depends on how old you are. I know a very successful relationship where the girl is 4 years older than the guy but they are both graduates and have their own careers but it works for them. Their age is a non-issue at this point.

    I have three friends that are dating guys that are a year younger than they are..... is that an acceptable age difference or would you not date anyone older than yourself?
    Yeah I'm 23 and she is 25. But she will be turning 26 soon, and whilst she is older than me - I just feel that she may be the one for me.

    God, she admitted and called me handsome for a start whilst playing with her hair
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    Bro you turning down Pussay like that?!
    You need to grab it.....
    I mean grab the opportunity of course
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    (Original post by james ionicbond)
    Bro you turning down Pussay like that?!
    You need to grab it.....
    I mean grab the opportunity of course
    Never been in a relationship before
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    (Original post by spinze)
    Yeah we are both in our 20s, both graduated from university.

    We just so so much in common and I feel so confident and myself around her. Even though I politely friendzoned her, I still like her and feel that over time I may ask her out. I know she loves me deep down and she was giving me so much advice and made me feel so much better!

    But the thing is, couldn't I just fix the weaknesses she has pointed out and ask her out? Like say, "I admit that I am romantically attracted to you"
    I, honestly, don't understand why you friend zoned this girl. You like her...... she likes you. You like it that she called you handsome. What 'weaknesses' was she pointing out???? If it's that you're shy or romantically inexperienced...well those things can be easily fixed especially as you are so comfortable around her. If you're both graduated from uni then your age doesn't matter. Hey Megan is 3 years older than Harry and he's not fussing about it! Start texting her and see how she responds. After a couple of days texting (assuming it is flowing back and forth and she is engaging with you via text) then amp your texts up and call her pretty or say how comfortable you are around her. Tell her you really felt complimented by her calling you handsome and see how she responds. If it is flowing well and good banter back and forth then ask her to meet you for coffee or lunch - something casual that doesn't have much pressure and hopefully she'll say 'Yes!'. You have to realize that people move on. If you like her.... what are you waiting for? She may assume your genuinely aren't interested and literally move on either physically with a new or emotionally and decide she's just not interested anymore - more than just a friend. TSR is full of posters having a crush who isn't interested in return..... here your crush IS interested and you (lacking in your own confidence) friend-zoned her!!!! Is that what you really want???? If the answer is 'no' - seize the day and start texting her and get things started. Best of luck!
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    (Original post by spinze)
    I recently met a girl through a mutual friend and a small group of us have been hanging out.

    The mutual friend and this girl are just friends and are not romantically linked to one another. But lately, I've developed some feelings for this girl, and to my surprise the girl has done the same. We both found that we have so much in common and like each others personalities. I can tell she really likes me, and it wasn't until a friend asked me in front of the group if I "liked" her or wouldn't mind going out with her, that I knew that she perhaps liked me. At the time, I said that I wasn't too sure and her friend said I can take my time deciding, because the friend liked me as a person and so did her boyfriend.

    This girl is a couple of years older than me, and I kinda friend zoned her politely privately, on a small date a few days later. Told her that I would disappoint her if I was her man, and she seemed a little upset. We seemed to then tell each other, how we sort of liked each other and what not. But then, she literally told me that I was handsome and some of my weak traits. Like what I could do to improve myself and look good.

    I felt bad friend zoning at the time, but a part of me still likes her and I think deep down she likes me. What should I do? I just felt she was slightly older than me, and she kept denying that I could disappoint her.


    you're obviously not that into her

    by the way you were talking about the 3 year gap being too big i thought you were like 15 or something but you say you're in your 20's...


    nah mate, you're obviously not that into her if you would friend zone her like that. The 3 year gap is not fooling nobody..
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    (Original post by spinze)
    Never been in a relationship before
    And it shows.

    That was really clumsy and hurtful friend zoning her and telling her that you'd disappoint her. You rejected her!

    Be honest. Contact her this morning. Tell her that you've never been in a relationship. Tell her that you realise that you made a huge mistake in pushing her away. Tell her that you expect to make plenty more mistakes with her, but that you're willing to try your best to learn from them. Tell her that you'd love to see her when she's next available as you do so enjoy the times that you're together. Tell her one highly specific thing that you love about her.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    you're obviously not that into her

    by the way you were talking about the 3 year gap being too big i thought you were like 15 or something but you say you're in your 20's...


    nah mate, you're obviously not that into her if you would friend zone her like that. The 3 year gap is not fooling nobody..
    Cool story bro, if you say so
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    And it shows.

    That was really clumsy and hurtful friend zoning her and telling her that you'd disappoint her. You rejected her!

    Be honest. Contact her this morning. Tell her that you've never been in a relationship. Tell her that you realise that you made a huge mistake in pushing her away. Tell her that you expect to make plenty more mistakes with her, but that you're willing to try your best to learn from them. Tell her that you'd love to see her when she's next available as you do so enjoy the times that you're together. Tell her one highly specific thing that you love about her.
    Yeah I did apologize to her about it all.

    Yeah we have agreed to meet up sometime soon, and I might just tell her then. Tbh, it was her friend who brought up the whole topic of dating one another - NOT HER. But still, she has been telling me all my weaknesses and how to improve myself. She has also told me my good bits as well, so does that mean she still likes me? We were messaging one another on WhatsApp for a good few hours
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    You have to realize that if it was her friend bringing up the whole dating topic she was doing it on behalf of the girl you like. Girls don't just bring that up without first discussing it. I would imagine that they (the two girls) previously discussed this before anything was ever said to you. Then if you were texting for 'hours' - yea - she's interested. Girls don't text their buddies for 'hours'.
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    (Original post by spinze)
    Yeah I did apologize to her about it all.

    Yeah we have agreed to meet up sometime soon, and I might just tell her then. Tbh, it was her friend who brought up the whole topic of dating one another - NOT HER. But still, she has been telling me all my weaknesses and how to improve myself. She has also told me my good bits as well, so does that mean she still likes me? We were messaging one another on WhatsApp for a good few hours
    Gret news! Well done!

    The troble with messaging her at this stage of your relationship is that you lose tone of voice and facial expression. So you might say something well intentioned that gets misunderstood and poisons your relationship.

    Better to keep the messaging to a minumum. To simply arranging to the mechanics of meeting up, whilst adding the odd, highly specific and true compliment.
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    You have to realize that if it was her friend bringing up the whole dating topic she was doing it on behalf of the girl you like. Girls don't just bring that up without first discussing it. I would imagine that they (the two girls) previously discussed this before anything was ever said to you. Then if you were texting for 'hours' - yea - she's interested. Girls don't text their buddies for 'hours'.
    Yeah she was denying the fact that she even spoke to her friend about it. But I wasn't really buying into it and the friend admitted she got excited in the moment.

    I have a feeling they spoke about it before and that she still loves me deep down
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    Gret news! Well done!

    The troble with messaging her at this stage of your relationship is that you lose tone of voice and facial expression. So you might say something well intentioned that gets misunderstood and poisons your relationship.

    Better to keep the messaging to a minumum. To simply arranging to the mechanics of meeting up, whilst adding the odd, highly specific and true compliment.
    Thanks mate.

    Yeah, we have agreed to meet up sometime soon. She keeps giving me tips on how to improve myself and wants to see me happy around other girls. I find this strange, as naturally one wouldn't so much time speaking to someone about improving them for the better. I think she really loves me deep down and wants me to change my mind for her.

    I only rejected her initially because I thought I would be a bad boyfriend and I didn't want to disappoint her. She initially said that it doesn't matter what problems I have, she would accept me for who I am - but then later said her friend asked as a "joke" (which I
 
 
 
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