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No friends at uni watch

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    I’ve opted to live at home during uni and I feel like because of this I’m struggling hugely to meet people.

    I’m half way through first year, and there’s only one person I know well enough to sit with and talk to.

    Recently she has made a larger group of friends and I’m being extremely excluded from the conversations. (Talking across me and not involving me, they have a group chat they use through lectures)

    I have major anxiety and struggle doing things by myself without it resulting in panic attacks, so joining societies to meet people is a huge no go for me.

    I’m beginning to feel so alone I avoid going to lectures and seminars due to the embarrassment of having to spend the gap hours on my own, or feeling like I don’t exist.

    It’s becoming somewhat unbearable, and I’m starting to look at maybe changing unis.

    I feel like I’m the only person in this situation and I don’t know how to meet new people now everyone is so clicky already in their friendship groups.

    I feel like I don’t fit in, have nothing to talk about and that I’m just in the way.

    Any advice?
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    (Original post by Kayshhh)
    I’ve opted to live at home during uni and I feel like because of this I’m struggling hugely to meet people.

    I’m half way through first year, and there’s only one person I know well enough to sit with and talk to.

    Recently she has made a larger group of friends and I’m being extremely excluded from the conversations. (Talking across me and not involving me, they have a group chat they use through lectures)

    I have major anxiety and struggle doing things by myself without it resulting in panic attacks, so joining societies to meet people is a huge no go for me.

    I’m beginning to feel so alone I avoid going to lectures and seminars due to the embarrassment of having to spend the gap hours on my own, or feeling like I don’t exist.

    It’s becoming somewhat unbearable, and I’m starting to look at maybe changing unis.

    I feel like I’m the only person in this situation and I don’t know how to meet new people now everyone is so clicky already in their friendship groups.

    I feel like I don’t fit in, have nothing to talk about and that I’m just in the way.

    Any advice?
    This is a tough one. Have you spoken to your GP about your panic attacks, and have you also spoken to your Personal Tutor about the problems you're having with fitting in?
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    (Original post by Kayshhh)
    I’ve opted to live at home during uni and I feel like because of this I’m struggling hugely to meet people.

    I’m half way through first year, and there’s only one person I know well enough to sit with and talk to.

    Recently she has made a larger group of friends and I’m being extremely excluded from the conversations. (Talking across me and not involving me, they have a group chat they use through lectures)

    I have major anxiety and struggle doing things by myself without it resulting in panic attacks, so joining societies to meet people is a huge no go for me.

    I’m beginning to feel so alone I avoid going to lectures and seminars due to the embarrassment of having to spend the gap hours on my own, or feeling like I don’t exist.

    It’s becoming somewhat unbearable, and I’m starting to look at maybe changing unis.

    I feel like I’m the only person in this situation and I don’t know how to meet new people now everyone is so clicky already in their friendship groups.

    I feel like I don’t fit in, have nothing to talk about and that I’m just in the way.

    Any advice?
    Me neither and I'm living in halls

    I have really high anxiety too and hate it.

    I'm in the same situation as you, just changing unis won't help. I'm living in halls and feel exactly the same way.
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    (Original post by Blue_Cow)
    This is a tough one. Have you spoken to your GP about your panic attacks, and have you also spoken to your Personal Tutor about the problems you're having with fitting in?
    I’ve spoke to my GP in the past, and my personal tutor is pretty useless whenever I’ve mentioned issues before, but I might try again.
    I guess there’s not much anyone else can do because they can’t force people to talk to me haha 😩
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    (Original post by Owz5)
    Me neither and I'm living in halls

    I have really high anxiety too and hate it.

    I'm in the same situation as you, just changing unis won't help. I'm living in halls and feel exactly the same way.
    Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. I think the anxiety almost makes us invisible.

    I don’t know about you, but even when I meet someone new and I’m with one of my life long friends I struggle to talk or make conversation, so I’m basically a mime in all other settings
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    Although I lived in halls during uni and have a fairly big group of "friends" things change so much at uni that the people I was friends with even at the start of this year has changed dramatically. When you get into second year you may find that you have a lot of Erasmus students come to your class, this is what happened to my course and there were so many new faces at the start of the year so the dynamic changed a lot. In my first year I only spoke frequently to one girl on my course but through several lots of group work in second year I've slowly started migrating into a larger group but trust me I know what it's like to have to sit alone in a tutorial class and feel like the whole world is looking at you for being isolated. Do you have a course Facebook page or group chat? See if you could message someone on that who seems friendly and ask them if you could sit with them in your next class? I do this if we are going on a site visit and don't want to be stood like a lemon. Just remember you won't be the only one feeling the same way even in your lecture theatre x
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    (Original post by Kayshhh)
    Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. I think the anxiety almost makes us invisible.

    I don’t know about you, but even when I meet someone new and I’m with one of my life long friends I struggle to talk or make conversation, so I’m basically a mime in all other settings
    I think what would really help you, is to find a good sport club. Not a uni club, but a local sport club in the city/where you study in. I made some really good friends there but had to give up the sport... scared of brain damage with boxing. I won't see those people again...

    But yeah, changing unis will do no difference. I'm the same and have wondered the same thing, i do regret coming here instead of another uni which I prefered (picked a different uni cos of rankings).

    I hate it... yeah I think so too. It kills any chance we have and makes us overthink. Local sport clubs or hobby places, that's where I suggest to make friends, because it worked for me. But now all alone again :/ no friends at uni, I hate it.
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    I just found this thread and I'm glad that I did. I'm in exactly the same situation as you!

    I'm living at home, so decided to stick with a group of students on my course who were living at home. They really left me out - I think it was on purpose - completely ignoring me, speaking over me, and shooting blank looks at me whenever I spoke. I felt so alone during my first term at university that I developed some bad anxiety issues. They ended up making a group chat and adding all the other students but myself, and that's when I decided that they just weren't worth my time.

    After the Christmas holidays I went to speak to my personal tutor about the situation. I strongly encourage you to do the same. After all, feelings of anxiety and a lack of support from course mates could have the potential to affect you academically. My personal tutor was really supportive and understanding, and encouraged me to be more outgoing and approach some other students in my teaching group who I ended up getting along with much better. They all live in halls together and I'm the only one at home, so no one ever reaches out to me - you really have to make an effort.

    I would also highly recommend seeking help from your university's wellbeing services. I'm going to give it a go just for some support, because I know I've tried my hardest now to make friends but I still don't feel included. I really never thought university would be so 'cliquey'. It's a shame.

    Feel free to message me. I'll let you know how it goes!
    Sophie x
 
 
 
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