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How do I convince my mum that moving out isn’t a big deal watch

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    So I applied to universities that are far away which was hard for my parents to accept but they were like cool fine, whatever.
    Then today I had a convo with my mum and she said well you’ll come back after studies right? You won’t get a job that’s far away etc etc. And I was like well I don’t know but if I did move back to London I probably wouldn’t move back into the house and she got really still and kinda silent angry and was like why not? And I said well I need to be independent I’m not just gonna live with you guys (in a house with 5 other kids I might add age ranging from 18-3 where I would most likely share a room with a sibling) till marriage this is the 21st century. I don’t know if I’m being heartless I like honestly don’t is it that big of a deal? She’s accusing me of using her and not loving her or my dad and she finally sees my “great plan”, and I regret saying anything to be honest. I don’t know but on TV and in school I feel like I’ve always been told go to uni get a job move out start a family blah blah blah. She thinks it’s about me going out with friends and having fun and all that but I don’t think it is. I mean god know when/if I get a husband! And she brought up examples like some relative who’s son is 26 and still living with his parents and has a great job in central and I’ve always seen him as that guy living in his parents basement but I don’t know what to think anymore. I think it’s just this western culture kinda influence I have but now my mum doesn’t trust me and I feel awful. And once she tells my dad all hell will break loose. Any opinions? Why do we move out?? I need arguments that are logical bu not emotional cause they don’t understand that. Or am I being ridiculous and should I listen to my mum. I feel like she can’t be persuaded...
    Help!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I applied to universities that are far away which was hard for my parents to accept but they were like cool fine, whatever.
    Then today I had a convo with my mum and she said well you’ll come back after studies right? You won’t get a job that’s far away etc etc. And I was like well I don’t know but if I did move back to London I probably wouldn’t move back into the house and she got really still and kinda silent angry and was like why not? And I said well I need to be independent I’m not just gonna live with you guys (in a house with 5 other kids I might add age ranging from 18-3 where I would most likely share a room with a sibling) till marriage this is the 21st century. I don’t know if I’m being heartless I like honestly don’t is it that big of a deal? She’s accusing me of using her and not loving her or my dad and she finally sees my “great plan”, and I regret saying anything to be honest. I don’t know but on TV and in school I feel like I’ve always been told go to uni get a job move out start a family blah blah blah. She thinks it’s about me going out with friends and having fun and all that but I don’t think it is. I mean god know when/if I get a husband! And she brought up examples like some relative who’s son is 26 and still living with his parents and has a great job in central and I’ve always seen him as that guy living in his parents basement but I don’t know what to think anymore. I think it’s just this western culture kinda influence I have but now my mum doesn’t trust me and I feel awful. And once she tells my dad all hell will break loose. Any opinions? Why do we move out?? I need arguments that are logical bu not emotional cause they don’t understand that. Or am I being ridiculous and should I listen to my mum. I feel like she can’t be persuaded...
    Help!!
    Doing it wrong imo.

    Just find the best uni and explain why its the best. remind her you will be back during out of term and in term time.

    You may not be able to afford a place after uni so just dont give her ideas as the future is unknown. ofc you may want to get away as far as possible, but dont burn bridges and you will need to sort out the issue of money. It isnt a question of persuading, just knowing you are making the right decisions and not letting her guilt you into an action you dont want.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Doing it wrong imo.

    Just find the best uni and explain why its the best. remind her you will be back during out of term and in term time.

    You may not be able to afford a place after uni so just dont give her ideas as the future is unknown. ofc you may want to get away as far as possible, but dont burn bridges and you will need to sort out the issue of money. It isnt a question of persuading, just knowing you are making the right decisions and not letting her guilt you into an action you dont want.
    But now she’s already mad about what I said so how do I backtrack? I’m considering just apologising and saying this is how we were taught at school, move out and don’t depend on your family but “I see now that I was wrong” or something like that..
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