Hi, I was hoping somebody could advise me on what my problem is and what to do.
All my life, although I try to be friendly, making friends has never been something that has come easily to me. I feel like I'm not the type of person who is very likeable, or somebody people want to be friends with- I'm not sure if people think I'm just a weirdo tbh. I just don't know.
In primary school, everybody was friends with everybody so there were few issues here. When I moved to secondary school, although I tried making friends, people seemed to move away from me after getting to know me more. I remember that, on the first day, I was happily socialising with many people who seemed open to liking me, but after a while they just drift away. I remember crying in the toilet a lot in early secondary school. The first close friend in high school I had (in yr 8) ended up leaving for about a year due to severe psychological problems- it was at this point I felt I had nobody in my life, I sat at lunch with 3 girls who disliked me and made jokes about me, making me feel like a burden. I had to go and see a psychologist for a while, after developing symptoms of anxiety and depression.
At the end of year 9, I actively sought out a group of people who I had 0 classes with, but thought would be a great group of friends. I plucked up some courage and went to sit with them- this was a good, yet quite difficult, thing to do, and they became very dear friends to me. They became my only friends, as I felt that other people I knew, e.g. in my classes, really did not like me- everybody seems to be this way, and I know there must be something wrong with the way I act... but I don't know what.
Now I have started sixth form, and I feel quite alone. My close group of friends from high school never seem to have the time to meet up (which is fair enough- we're all pretty busy and it's okay to move on), there have been arguments between 3 of them who go to the same college, and I have made only 1 good friend at college so far. I think I might come across as annoying and clingy to this 1 friend because of this; I think we both feel comfortable around each other, but sometimes she ditches me without giving me a call. On her snapchat, I saw she went out for a meal with another friend, even though all 3 of us previously agreed to meet up in half term. It's obviously fine to not meet up together, but I just don't see why they didn't think to invite me at all.
I seem to always have to go out of my way to make friends. I don't think people are intimidated by me- I would say I'm confident in speaking in front of people, I (hopefully) come across as quite intelligent, but I look very young for my age (17), am quite short, and am often called things like 'cute'... so it's not exactly hard to talk to me. Honestly, I'll literally be friends with and love anybody who is just slightly kind to me.
Please can somebody give me advice in regards to what I'm doing wrong and why I'm not likeable?? How can I stop people drifting away from me?? I know I might be overthinking, but friends are very important to me and I hate feeling lonely.
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Feel like I don't have any friends watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-02-2018 16:43
- 16-02-2018 16:50
I feel the same way too.
I had close friends during years 7 - 9, and then those friends kinda drifted away, and in year 10 I had two very close friends, but over time things changed and now I'm left in year 11 with no real friends anymore, just several people I get along well with but of course outside of school I don't really talk to anyone.
But I believe in the phrase, 'time is a healer' and I'll just wait it out, hopefully in sixth form I'll make new friends.